The Queen and Her King

Author: Star Crossed Lover

Disclaimers: Unfortunately I don't own any of the characters. They belong to Joss and Co.

Summary: Buffy's return. This is how things should have happened the first time. It's three weeks after Willow and the PTB bring Buffy back from the dead. It's been about one month since her big fight with Glory and they recently found out that Glory has also been resurrected. It's up to Buffy to defeat her this time or the world as she knows it will be destroyed.

Timeline: Everything up through the end of Session 5 is the exact same. AU after that.

Rating: PG to PG-13 for insinuated situations {If you watch BtVS, you can read this}

**Everything in italics is a personal thought from whichever character is mentioned either preceding or following the italicized portion.**

[A.N. The poetry's mine too, so don't laugh.]

Buffy awoke from her dream in a sweat. Gasping for breathe and struggling to keep from letting the tears flow. She wanted to forget her nightmares, forget her problems. She needed someone to hold. She reached out, but he wasn't there. He never was. He had left her just like Angel. She wanted to call out his name. Then he would come running. Just like he always did. Like he always used to anyway. Now he wasn't here. She didn't like being alone. She'd spent enough time alone already. It was torture. Pure torture.

She missed him. At least deep down she thought she should. But the truth, the truth is that she hated him. Hated him for leaving when things got tough. Hated him for walking out on her because of her life, her strength, her power. It's not like she wanted this. She didn't ask to be the Chosen One. But it was a part of her. She wouldn't give that up, not for him. Not for any man.

"He's a military man. Thinks he needs to be in charge to feel alive." Alive, ha. He wanted to die. She could tell that by his actions.

"What kind of *normal* man lets slutty vamps bite him?"

Then she had to ask herself that pained question again. Did I drive him to them? These creatures of the night. …I have to forget it. He's been gone for a while now and I have more important things to think about. "Glory. Concentrate on Glory. Man I wish I left her good and dead last time."

"More important? What's more important than Riley? …The man I love." Then it hit her. Love. Why did I chose those words? …Liked …Yes. …Cared for…Definitely. …Lusted after… um…Occasionally. …But Loved…She had to think about that one. "Love." She kept repeating the word over and over again to herself.

"Love. …Did I love him? …Had I ever loved him? …What was it between us?"

She knew the answer, but didn't want to say it. Safety. That's what he was. That's all he was to her. He would never hurt her. Or so she thought. That's why she chose him instead of…

No. She wouldn't let herself think of that, of him, right now.

"Back to business." She said. "Got a God to kill. Remember Buffy? No time for 'what ifs'. No time for …him."

She started to fall out of control, again. Just like every other morning, and just about every second since her resurrection. Something was wrong with her. She knew it had to be something. This isn't normal. She laid back down on her bed and thought uncontrollably about the one man, demon, whatever he was, that she couldn't have.

She even thought she could feel his presence in the room, which is crazy, right? Why would he be at her house, in her room?

She finish writing, closed and clasped the book on her bed next to her and picked up and clutched it to her chest, holding it close to her heart. I am a Slayer. I kill his kind. This has happened before. Why again? Why must I want what I shouldn't have? What I can't have? She laughed at herself. Just to stop thinking about…him. "Tasting of the forbidden fruit, eh Buff.." Humanity's greatest desire. And her greatest weakness.

"Can't have?…Can't have?" Those words hung in the back of her mind. Then a familiar, yet unsettling voice from her past seemed to speak to her. She always spoke the truth, told it like it was. Just like someone else she knew.

'When are you going to get it B? Life as a Slayer is simple. Want... Take... Have.'

"Want... Take... Have." Buffy repeated out loud as a smile crept over her face. She let herself bask in the idea for a moment then, almost forcefully, she pulled herself away from those thoughts by laying the diary down beside her, caressing the cover. Soft, black leather.

Just then the phone rang. She jumped up startled at first. Then relieved. She wouldn't think of him, not now, not ever again. …Not for a while anyway.

She slowly slipped the book back under her pillow, acting as if the caller may see it. She carefully picked up the receiver and placed it to her ever waiting ear. Loneliness. That's what she hated most. Eagerly she awaited the presence of another voice in her room. In her house.

"Hello." It was an older voice, friendly and watchful.

It was Giles.

"Buffy? Are you there?"

She seemed disappointed, but she didn't know why. Who had I expected? … … …Him? …Like that would happen.

"Hi Giles. Sorry. I just woke up."

"Buffy Anne Summers! It's eleven thirty!"

"What? I had a late night. Remember? I do stay out all night fighting the Big Bad."

"The what?"

She slipped. She knew she had. Spending too much time with him. Beginning to talk like him. Bad. Very Bad. How to cover it up? …

"Buffy. Are you feeling okay? I thought I heard… …never mind."

"Yeah. Like I said. I'm just tired. I stayed out late last night fighting…"

Think Buffy. What sounds similar…

"…a few …um…really big bad demons. That's all."

"Oh. Why didn't you call for back-up?"

"It was nothing I couldn't handle."

"What were they?"

"I don't know. I don't ask them before they die what breed they are. Most don't stay alive long enough."

"Oh."

"Giles. Not that I don't enjoy this pleasant little conversation, but was there a reason you called?."

"Oh yeah. Come to the magic shop ASAP. We might have some help for you."

Still thinking about her recent object of lust and her dark, little book.

"What? I don't need help. Its just a stupid…well I don't know what it is, but..."

"Buffy, what on earth are you talking about? I was referring to a way to help you defeat Glory."

"Oh. Be right over."

She quickly hung up the phone so Giles couldn't nose around more. She hit her head with her hands. "Stupid Buffy." Another hit. "Just stupid." Another hit to the head. "What were you thinking? Just tell everyone your deep, dark thoughts." Another hit. Buffy stops and sits straight up to look at the mirror on the wall in front of her. A strange sparkle rose in her eyes. "Your evil, nasty thoughts" She licked her lips and her body trembled slightly. "…about …him." Then she looked almost sick to the stomach. Sick in the head was more like it. I know better, but no one will have to know. She shook her head to get her desires out.—Like that would really help.

She jumped up from her bed and reached under her pillow. She retrieved the small, black, leather bound book. She caressed the clasp. A piece of chain held with something resembling a metal stake.

"Funny how much a stake can look like a railroad spike, isn't it?" She told herself laughing as she quickly hid the book in her dresser drawer. –No one looked in there. There her deep, dark, naughty desires were left for the day, and, as she walked into the bathroom and started her shower, she let him slip from her mind for the day. … …At least she can always hope.

As she exists the room, a figure with the most beautiful, majestic, blue eyes in the world steps out of the shadows. A small smile spreads across the ghostly face. This'll be fun, Pet.