A/N: It's been forever since I read the last (and worst) Animorph book, so
forgive me if I screw up any of the details and keep in mind that I can fix
them. And I'm not going to bother with the stupid stars to emphasize
things, cuz it's annoying and if HTML doesn't work (believe me, I tried)
then to hell with it.
The war was over. I wouldn't have to worry about my friends dying or being enslaved anymore. No more deaths, no more hurt ... but somehow it didn't matter, because the only thing in this world that I'd ever loved was gone, gone forever ...
-And I'd give up forever to touch you
-'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
We stood there, as they lowered Rachel's body into the ground – so unfair that she had to spend eternity rotting in a box. God, she'd hate that. It was what her parents wanted, though, so there really wasn't much I could do about it. They were her family. I was just her boyfriend.
Just a boyfriend. Weird how that sounds. After everything we've been through, everything we endured together ... I'm still only her boyfriend.
-You're the closest to heaven that I've ever be -And I don't wanna go home right now
I remember the night before that last battle. I'd flown to the Hork-Bajir valley, where everyone had been staying since the Yeerks had figured out who we were. I watched her kiss her family goodnight – it was almost as if she'd know what would happen the next day. Which she probably did – Jake assigned her to do it, after all, damn him to hell ...
But then, she was alone. She sat down beneath a tree, looking sad and yet determined. That was Rachel, mind you – she always looked determined. Always brave. It was what I loved about her.
She looked up and saw me. She smiled, though it didn't lift the veil of sadness covering her face. "Tobias," she breathed.
-And all I can taste is this moment
-And all I can breath is your life
Did I mention how beautiful Rachel is? She has the clearest blue eyes, and golden hair that reminds me of the sun. The most remarkable thing is that her beauty isn't just skin deep. She has the soul of an Amazon warrior, deadly and strong, and a heart made of gold.
"Can you ...?"
I answered by morphing to human. The human that Rachel loved. The one she wanted to be with her, as a human, all the time.
I couldn't do it, though. Rachel would be all I'd have. My mother's memory was irreparable, my father was dead, my aunt and uncle neither wanted nor loved me. When I was a human, my cat was the only thing that kept me hanging on, but it was a hallow existence. My life had no meaning – I spent my days like prey, hunted by bullies, haunted by my pain. I couldn't live like that – not even for Rachel.
I think that, on some level, she understood that. It didn't stop her from asking me to.
She stood and buried her face in my chest. "I love you ..." she said. She was crying.
I wrapped my arms around her. "I know."
-And sooner or later it's over -I just don't want to miss you tonight
"You love me too, right?" she looked up at me. Her eyes spoke for her – she desperately needed to hear me say it. "Right?!"
"Of course I love you," I answered, confused.
Rachel smiled, placated, and buried her head in my chest again, except now she wasn't crying.
She looked up, into my eyes ... and she kissed me fiercely, passionately ...
-And I don't want the world to see me -'Cause I don't think that that'd understand
The kiss calmed down somewhat, and became tender. She was crying again, but I didn't know why.
-When everything's made to be broken -I just want you to know who I am
"We'll all be free from this," she said, finally breaking the kiss. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "This fight that's coming? It will change everything. We won't have to hide anymore. The yeerks will be history, and ..."
"We could be together," I added.
-And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
"We aren't going to all make it, you know," she told me.
-Or the moment of truth in your lies
"I know," I said. And yeah, I expected someone to die – Jake, Marco, or most likely, me. Maybe even Ax. But even back then, the thought of Rachel dying was unthinkable.
-When everything feels like the movies -And you bleed just to know you're alive
And now I stood as they lowered her in the ground. The only thing distinguishing her from the surrounding earth was a tombstone. Yeah, a freakin' rock was marking where they put her body. It seemed criminal.
-And I don't want the world to see me -'Cause I don't think that that'd understand -When everything's made to be broken -I just want you to know who I am
A stupid rock bearing her name, the years she lived, and an inscription ...
-I just want you to know who I am
The inscription I liked.
-I just want you to know who I am
It read: "Let's do it."
Song: "Iris" by the Goo-Goo Dolls.
The war was over. I wouldn't have to worry about my friends dying or being enslaved anymore. No more deaths, no more hurt ... but somehow it didn't matter, because the only thing in this world that I'd ever loved was gone, gone forever ...
-And I'd give up forever to touch you
-'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
We stood there, as they lowered Rachel's body into the ground – so unfair that she had to spend eternity rotting in a box. God, she'd hate that. It was what her parents wanted, though, so there really wasn't much I could do about it. They were her family. I was just her boyfriend.
Just a boyfriend. Weird how that sounds. After everything we've been through, everything we endured together ... I'm still only her boyfriend.
-You're the closest to heaven that I've ever be -And I don't wanna go home right now
I remember the night before that last battle. I'd flown to the Hork-Bajir valley, where everyone had been staying since the Yeerks had figured out who we were. I watched her kiss her family goodnight – it was almost as if she'd know what would happen the next day. Which she probably did – Jake assigned her to do it, after all, damn him to hell ...
But then, she was alone. She sat down beneath a tree, looking sad and yet determined. That was Rachel, mind you – she always looked determined. Always brave. It was what I loved about her.
She looked up and saw me. She smiled, though it didn't lift the veil of sadness covering her face. "Tobias," she breathed.
-And all I can taste is this moment
-And all I can breath is your life
Did I mention how beautiful Rachel is? She has the clearest blue eyes, and golden hair that reminds me of the sun. The most remarkable thing is that her beauty isn't just skin deep. She has the soul of an Amazon warrior, deadly and strong, and a heart made of gold.
"Can you ...?"
I answered by morphing to human. The human that Rachel loved. The one she wanted to be with her, as a human, all the time.
I couldn't do it, though. Rachel would be all I'd have. My mother's memory was irreparable, my father was dead, my aunt and uncle neither wanted nor loved me. When I was a human, my cat was the only thing that kept me hanging on, but it was a hallow existence. My life had no meaning – I spent my days like prey, hunted by bullies, haunted by my pain. I couldn't live like that – not even for Rachel.
I think that, on some level, she understood that. It didn't stop her from asking me to.
She stood and buried her face in my chest. "I love you ..." she said. She was crying.
I wrapped my arms around her. "I know."
-And sooner or later it's over -I just don't want to miss you tonight
"You love me too, right?" she looked up at me. Her eyes spoke for her – she desperately needed to hear me say it. "Right?!"
"Of course I love you," I answered, confused.
Rachel smiled, placated, and buried her head in my chest again, except now she wasn't crying.
She looked up, into my eyes ... and she kissed me fiercely, passionately ...
-And I don't want the world to see me -'Cause I don't think that that'd understand
The kiss calmed down somewhat, and became tender. She was crying again, but I didn't know why.
-When everything's made to be broken -I just want you to know who I am
"We'll all be free from this," she said, finally breaking the kiss. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "This fight that's coming? It will change everything. We won't have to hide anymore. The yeerks will be history, and ..."
"We could be together," I added.
-And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
"We aren't going to all make it, you know," she told me.
-Or the moment of truth in your lies
"I know," I said. And yeah, I expected someone to die – Jake, Marco, or most likely, me. Maybe even Ax. But even back then, the thought of Rachel dying was unthinkable.
-When everything feels like the movies -And you bleed just to know you're alive
And now I stood as they lowered her in the ground. The only thing distinguishing her from the surrounding earth was a tombstone. Yeah, a freakin' rock was marking where they put her body. It seemed criminal.
-And I don't want the world to see me -'Cause I don't think that that'd understand -When everything's made to be broken -I just want you to know who I am
A stupid rock bearing her name, the years she lived, and an inscription ...
-I just want you to know who I am
The inscription I liked.
-I just want you to know who I am
It read: "Let's do it."
Song: "Iris" by the Goo-Goo Dolls.