Title: War of the heart
By: Cindy aka sg1phileshipper
Email: sg1phileshipperskynet.be
Disclaimer: They're not mine; they never were and they never will be. They belong to NBC, Universal and the Wolfman. The mistakes on the other hand, are entirely mine.
Spoilers: 'The war at home'
Category: Hurt/comfort
Keywords: Bobby/Alex
Rating: T for some mild swearing
Summary: Post 'The war at home'
Dedication: To VDO, for the wonderful portrayal of Robert Goren in the best LOCI episode ever (in my eyes). Bobby was so believable I wanted to cry for him and with him.
Author's Note: My first attempt at writing a LOCI fic. The way Bobby and Alex acted around each other made me nervous. I didn't like Bobby blowing her off like that. He deserved the cold shoulder he got afterwards. But I didn't like the ending much, it screamed for more. I truly hope they will talk about it in the next Goren/Eames episode.

Let's get the show on the road. Feedback and/or reviews are greatly appreciated.

WAR OF THE HEART

He blew her off, just like that. Not once, but twice. She was watching the retreating form of her incoherently mumbling partner, his arms waving wildly in the air. Never before had she seen him like that. Next to her, Captain Danny Ross was balancing on the balls of his feet, shaking his head at the blow-up of his star-detective.

"Does he really think I'm gonna fire him?" he asked no one in particular, casting a sideways glance at the petite half of his best team.
Alex let out a soft sigh she was sure she had been holding since the first blow up of her partner. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't think much right now," she explained. "And I highly doubt he cares," she added as an afterthought.
Ross shook his head. "I wish he would talk to me," he said matter-of-factly.
Eames crossed her arms and stared at him. "I've been trying to get him to talk to me for nearly six years. It's like hitting your head on a brick wall," she admitted. "Can the report wait until tomorrow?" she asked gently.
"Go find your partner, detective," he said gently, turning around and walking to his office.
"Thanks Captain," she called out, gathering her purse and jacket and heading in the same direction her partner had gone a few minutes beforehand.

He was walking down the streets of New York City, heading nowhere in particular. He thought walking around would help him clear his mind, but it only made him think more. In the first place, he needed to calm down. He knew he was making a mess of things. He walked out on the commissioner and blew off Ross. As if that hadn't been enough, he had acted unnecessarily cold towards his partner. Ross would have his badge and Alex would never speak to him again. He couldn't say he would blame her if she requested a transfer. And to top everything off, his mother would be mad at him for leaving her by herself for weeks.

He didn't know how long he had been walking around, but when he ended up at his favourite spot in Central Park, he sunk down on a nearby bench. Head in his hands, he stared at his own feet, continuing his ongoing battle against his own emotions. 'Oh damn it, what had he done?'

When she saw his slouched figure from a safe distance, she sighed deeply, glad she had managed to get a hold of him. She didn't want to talk to him, not after the way he had blown her off, but she wanted to make sure he got home in one piece. When she saw his sad figure stare into nothingness, her heart went out to him. 'Why did he have to do that to himself?' she wondered, not for the first time.

Bobby Goren was a broken man. He had finally lost the battle for control of his stability. Sitting straighter on 'his' spot on the bench, he looked around him. A couple of kids playing with their Frisbee, their faces worry-free; Couples in love walking their yellow golden retriever or chocolate Labrador. A couple of teens skating, their hairs in the wind. He wanted a piece of the above, but how hard he may try, he couldn't have it. For once in his life, Bobby wanted to be carefree, not worry about what would happen tomorrow. Ever since the age of seven, carefree had been a word scratched from the Robert Goren dictionary. He wanted, no needed someone to talk to. He wanted someone to listen to his problems and misery. And he wanted his partner to be that person, the only one he could trust not to stomp on his heart. There wasn't much he could do about his troubles, but he could do something about Alexandra Eames.

When she saw him sitting straighter, she knew from experience that his mind was going a hundred miles an hour. She saw him look at the people around him and an even deeper sadness crossed his features. Running a hand through his hair, she suddenly saw an all too familiar expression on his face: determination. Knowing him by heart, she realised that he had found an outlet for his problems. Bobby was bouncing back, so she wasn't surprised when he met her gaze and gave her a sad smile.

As soon as his eyes met Alex', he smiled sadly. He knew he had hurt her deeply, more than he cared to admit. She didn't smile back at him, merely giving him the once-over and turning around to head back to One PP. He knew he couldn't let her walk off like that; he had to repair their partnership, friendship, whatever it was they shared.

"Eames!" he called loudly enough for her to hear. Bystanders looked at the tall man walking rapidly after the petite woman.
Alex Eames had a 'do not get in my way' look on her face and ignored her partner's plea. She heard his fast footsteps coming up behind her, but she ignored them. Only the soft hand on her shoulder made her stop.
"I'm sorry," he whispered defeated, his voice child-like. "I didn't mean to hurt you," he added sadly, his voice wavering and breaking.
The sadness in his voice made her turn around against her own will. One look at him and she felt the lump in her throat growing. Her heart was breaking for him, but she couldn't get a word out. She just stood there, staring at him.

Alexandra Eames was a strong woman. She never cried in front of anyone, she never shared her sadness. In a way, she and Robert Goren were much alike. But when she looked in the eyes of her broken partner, on the verge of tears, she bit on the inside of her lip to hold back her own tears. She wanted to say something, but she couldn't get a word passed her lips. She just looked at him, her own emotions getting in the way. She needed comfort from him as much as he needed comfort from her. So when he put both his hands on her shoulder and softly pulled her into a tight hug, she didn't resist.

It was a funny view when you thought about it; he was tall and strongly built, she was petite and looked fragile. She didn't care one bit about the comical image. When he pulled her to him, she put her arms around his waist and laid her head against his broad chest, his heart beating against her ear. Bobby's hands lightly rested on her shoulders, his thumbs softly caressing her collarbone. His cheek rested on top of her head and he was suddenly overwhelmed by the peace he found by holding Alexandra Eames in his arms.

They didn't know how long they had been standing there, in the middle of the sidewalk and in front of a hotdog vendor. Bobby was the first to pull away and smiled tentatively at Alex. She gave him a small smile in return, keeping her arms around his waist. When his eyes settled on the coffee shop across the street, she just nodded at him. He took her small hand in his much bigger one and pulled her behind him. Alex didn't flinch; she was since long used to her partner's idiosyncrasies.

They settled in a small booth in the corner, sitting closely together. Once the orders placed, they looked at each other."I'm really sorry, Eames," Bobby said softly, his pleading eyes never leaving hers.

"I know, Bobby," she said just as softly. "But you really hurt me by blowing off me like that," she explained.
"I know," he nodded. "I know how I felt when you gave me the cold shoulder afterwards," he admitted.
"I'm sorry," she started.
"Don't, Eames," he stopped her by gently covering her hand with his. "You have nothing to be sorry about," he mumbled, small fingers on his lips stopping him in mid-sentence.
"I'm here for you," she said simply, smiling when he kissed her fingers. "Whatever you need, just ask," she said.
He shook his head. "I don't need much," he murmured.
"What do you need?" she questioned, intertwining her fingers with his and not looking up when the waiter put two hot chocolates in front of them.
"Alex," he mumbled, the unfamiliar name softly rolling off his lips, his gaze turning towards the table.
"Bobby," she answered as she put a finger under his chin to look him in the eyes.
"You," he whispered, defiantly meeting her gaze.
"What?" she asked confused and shocked at the same time.
"I just need you, Alex," he admitted, his cheeks flushing.
"Then why don't you talk to me?" she asked, softly brushing his cheek with her knuckles.
"I couldn't," he murmured. "And certainly not in front of Ross."
"He's not here right now," she stated sweetly.

Bobby told her everything; how his mother was freaking out over the doctors, the hospice, and his brother showing up drunk. How she was getting sicker and sicker; how he hadn't been able to understand her the past few weeks, how she was slipping further and further away from him. And he also admitted he was breaking down, feeling like the earth was crumbling under his feet.

"Everything I care about is being taken from me," he explained sadly.
"I'm still here, Bobby," Alex whispered, pulling her partner closer to her.
"Thank you," he mumbled, a lonely tear making its way down his cheek.
"You're not alone in this. You don't need to carry the weight of the world on your own. I'm here for you, whenever you need me," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Bobby didn't answer; he just looked at her. He gathered her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you," he mumbled into her hair.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Bobby pulled away and took a sip of his hot cocoa. "I guess I should talk to Ross," he said suddenly.
"He'll understand," she said as she blew on the hot liquid. "He's not a bad guy."
"I know," he whispered guiltily. "I'll talk to him tomorrow," he said, throwing a couple of bills on the table and getting up. "Care to go for a walk?" he asked gently.
"Sure," she said as she got up and followed him out of the door.

They headed back to Central Park, slowly strolling along the many paths. They didn't feel the need to speak, silently enjoying each others company. Bobby stopped by the central lake and watched the ducks happily swimming in the middle. He watched Alex and she had a distant look in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently, taking her hand to continue their stroll.
"I'll be fine," she answered honestly.
"You're still mad at me, aren't you?" he stated sadly.
"God no, Bobby," she put him at ease, stopping to look at his sad face. "You really gotta stop this trip down guilt road, you know," she said, wincing slightly at the dark look in his eyes. "You're really something else."
He offered her a sad smile. "Are you gonna smack me if I apologize?" he asked.
"You'd better believe it, buster," she retorted playfully. "You're a piece of work you big lug," she explained. "A real piece of work."
"Sorry?" he grinned, barely avoiding her hand out to hit him in the chest. He caught her hand in a tight grip and smiled warmly. "I guess we're okay then?" he asked for reassurance.
"We're okay, Bobby. Stop worrying," she said adamantly.

Bobby didn't answer; he just kept looking at her. For countless seconds their eyes met, both unable to break the visual contact. Bobby slowly leaned forward and softly kissed the corner of her mouth, Alex' eyes turning wide. He stared at her, shocked by his own actions.

"Uh," he stuttered, turning his eyes away from her.
Alex put her hand on his arm to stop him from retreating. "It's okay, Bobby," she said gently. "You just uh… you just took me by surprise," she whispered.
"I shouldn't have done that," he stammered nervously.
"It okay, really. You just picked the wrong time," she said matter-of-factly.
"What do you mean?" he asked, clearly confused.
"You'll find out soon enough," she answered honestly, hooking her arm through his and pulling him along. "Let's grab a bite to eat."

THE END. Sequel? I guess it all depends on how you folks like my writing.