"Ok, so what does he look like?" It's the first thing – well, the only thing – I can think of to ask. I don't expect the response I get, but then, it's O'Neill.
"A famous tenor." I'm not sure I want to know how the Colonel knows what any famous tenor looks like, let alone can identify someone who resembles one. I'm also a little confused by the fact that no one says anything to support or deny that – Good, finally, another thing I can ask them.
"And you're seeing the exact same thing at the exact same time?"
"Yep." Sam looks like she does when some bit of technology is giving her the run-around. Exasperation doesn't even begin to cover it. "It's a defibrillator." What? I look over at the device, wondering why the hell she said that.
"He, uh…it seems to crave new experiences," She tells me before I get a chance to ask her. "You use the paddles to administer an electric shock to people whose hearts are beating irregularly." She's looking at the empty space right beside me, gesturing as though there's actually someone there needing the explanation.
"I would think so," Daniel says after a pause, his face bearing that look that means he's been asked a stupid question. "No, I don't think so." Come again?
"It talks to you?" To be honest, that would explain a lot.
"I think it experiences things through us, using our sensors to collect information." Sam could be right, but I haven't really seen any evidence of that. They're not really experiencing anything, other than a conversation with an invisible man, as far as I can tell.Teal'c gets up and walks over to me, looking a bit distracted as I ask my next question.
"So, do you experience any..." What is he up to?... "physical sensations…?" What the hell, he turned the damn thing off and grabbed the paddles! "Hey!" I reach over and switch the defibrillator off quickly, watching to see what the Jaffa will do next.
"Teal'c!" The Colonel's shout causes Teal'c to shake his head a bit and turn around, as though he only just realized what he was doing. "Hey, I'm loose." What? He's yelling at Teal'c because he's 'loose'? This is making no sense, and I'm getting more lost by the minute.
"He doesn't have total control over us, just the power of suggestion." Good to know, but I wish she'd mentioned that before Teal'c messed with dangerous equipment.
"He also seems to be able to enhance our enjoyment of certain experiences in order to motivate us." Lovely. I'm not sure I like where this is going...should I even ask about what experiences he's been motivated by?
"Really."
"He appears unresponsive to direct questioning." There goes Teal'c, getting back to the heart of the matter, as he sees it. "Tell us how to remove you from our brains." I didn't need you to demonstrate – I can't hear him, remember?
"You said anything." I did? Or was that toward – "No Urgo. We don't like you." – Urgo. I don't think I like him either, and I wouldn't know he was there if SG1 wasn't acting crazy en masse. "No smidgen." Smidgen? Of what? What does Urgo want now?
"He will not cooperate O'Neill." This just keeps getting better.
"Years from now?" So Urgo's going to cooperate, but not for years?! The General's not going to like this...
"Woof?" Daniel's barking? I think I need to sit down.
"What are you doing in our brains in the first place?" Thank you, Colonel, I'd like to know that too.
"So we've been tagged, like we do with animals in the wild when we want to study them." That comment sounds more like something Sam would say than Daniel – though, he's probably not a stranger to wild animals, given his life as an archeologist.
"We are not wild animals." Yeah, I was waiting for that. Teal'c's insulted, and I'm not surprised.
"Hang on a second. The race who created you, and put these things in our brains, they're going to want the information you're collecting at some point." Shit, Sam, why didn't I think of that? We have the iris, but what if Urgo has some kind of fail-safe program that will force you to go back to that planet? "So how do they get it?" Thankfully Sam seems to be reading my mind like Urgo's reading hers; I'm too baffled to ask the questions I need to, but she's got it handled. "Let's say I do." Urgo must be being evasive again. "Aren't you programmed? I mean, how can you defy your creators?"
"So maybe if we contact whoever created the technology." I'm not sure about that, Daniel –
"Why should we listen to you?" Okay, I know the Colonel and Daniel have a bit of a love-hate relationship, but that was harsh. Isn't believing in Daniel one of the things the Colonel usually says everyone else should do?
"Die?" I was waiting for that too. Worst-case-scenarios are what doctors deal with everyday...I just wish this was pneumonia or internal bleeding, something I could treat! I almost hope that Daniel was just threatening O'Neill to make the Colonel 'listen to him'.
"We're thinking." About what? Going to share, yet?
This whole conversation is giving me a headache....and it continues through the halls all the way up into the briefing room. I've given up at this point, and so has the General. I know I should be listening to Sam's idea on getting rid of this insane device...but all I can do is stare.
Not for money, just for fun.