Disclaimer: Don't Own Ranma Dangit.

Operation Love: Bonding the Tigress and the Lily!

Prologue: An Out Of Place Comment

It was an unusual day for one Tatewaki Kuno. It had been a long time since he had had such a day of clear-minded thinking.

Of course, dear reader, we know that for Tatewaki, clear minded was what most people thought of as drunk three times over the legal limit.

But, in any case, Kuno felt himself truly befuddled and he was glad he was so capable of thinking today.

It had been one of the less painful days. He had skipped class today in order to think about the problem that had arisen, and so, was not sent rocketing into the air, or walls, or ground, by either of the roses of beauty to whom he pledged his affection. Pain of course, did not mean much to him. He was a Kuno! As thick-headed as he was thick skinned.

"Now that doesn't sound quite right…" He thought to himself. He had been so sure he was thinking clearly today and then a thought like that came into his mind. Hmm.

He was currently sitting in a meditative position in his room. Not the room that he usually slept in, but his other room. His most private of private rooms in which he kept his most personal belongings and his most treasured memories. No photographs of his loves were in here. Not yet. Not until they were freed from the sorcerer Saotome could he let either of them into this sanctuary. They and they're beauty could not befuddle his mind here.

It came to him that he wasn't really sure if the situation was so dire that it needed such deep thought. Then again… yes… yes it was.

Meditation had always been a primary aspect of his life. It was one of the things that made him so irresistible to the opposite gender. His calm and his ability to feel completely in touch with himself, so much so that his skills in martial arts and prowess in financial workings were undeniably perfect made him this way.

Of course, dear reader, you know that this is undeniably false. However, in order to look into the mind of Kuno Tatewaki, once must overlook such things in light of the fact that you are looking into the mind of a complete lunatic.

Oddly enough however, this lunatic had stumbled onto a rather uncannily true idea.

"I know exactly what she said, but I just can hardly believe it… And Saotome surely could not be involved in this… If he knew he would surely end it for he in his evil, could only want my tigress and lily to love him and only him. So… bah! It makes no sense!" Kuno shouted to himself in a fit of confusion.

He calmed himself and closed his eyes once more, and began to think. It was here that he thought of the most pressing matters; if this wasn't a pressing matter nothing was.

"I remember it exactly. I was about to lay a blow on the shoulder of the lush Akane Tendo's person when it happened." He murmured, his eyes still closed recalling the picture in his mind.

"Have at thee fair Akane! I strike!" He shouted, charging at Akane who's back was turned to face the other way.

In that very instant a blur of red dashed in front of his vision, halting his forward swing completely. Cold eyes of anger burned through even the thick layer of stupidity clouding Kuno's mind and if the eyes burned, then the words cut through like a razor blade.

"Never strike her from behind Kuno. Don't you ever lay a finger on her. I won't let you or anyone hurt her." His flame-haired goddess spoke in a tone that made goddess seem an understatement. She spoke quietly though, so the beauteous Tendo did not hear or see. She appeared to have not noticed at all.

So shocked was Tatewaki that he did not ever see her move again and could not recall how he ended up on the far side of the city in a trash can when he awoke some twenty minutes later.

And now he pondered.

"Never strike her from behind Kuno." He began. "Don't you ever lay a finger on her." He paused once more and thought, then continued. "I won't let you, or anyone hurt her…" He trailed off in slight bewilderment.

Three days ago, the cur Ranma Saotome and the lovely Akane Tendo had been pledged to wed. Well, he put a fine stop to that! But for some reason before that they had all been gone in China or some such. That's what Nabiki had told him.

Now just yesterday, the pigtailed girl said this.

This could only mean one thing!

That… that… that…

"The pigtailed girl is in love with Akane Tendo?" Sasuke questioned from behind him in an exasperated tone.

"Fool! I knew that!" Kuno shouted at his impish ninja servant.

"Took you long enough to figure it out…" Sasuke muttered under his breath. "I've known that for over a year…"

"Never before has she shown interest in Akane Tendo! It is wrong and unclean!" Kuno exclaimed. "A woman cannot bear love for another woman! No child could come from that! The lord Kami-sama does not condone… wait…"

Gears that had rarely been used began to click in Kuno's mind. Gears that, for all intensive purposes, shouldn't exist due to eighteen plus years of abuse began to twist and churn and bring forth an idea.

The pig-tailed girl loves Akane… if that went both ways… then my two most wonderful rose's of femininity would be in love with each other…

"Really?" Sasuke questioned sarcastically.

"Quiet, Sasuke. I'm thinking." Kuno said.

Remember, dear reader, that Kuno's eyes are still closed, both physically and metaphorically; his mind, however, is actively creating scenarios. Twisted ones of course. Sasuke had, many times over, attempted to get the point across to his master that Ranma Saotome and his Tree-Borne Kettle Girl were one in the same person.

"The fiendish Saotome surely works to prevent such a relationship. If it existed then that would mean their entire devotion was not to him…

Sasuke sighed in the background. He had no idea where it was going but it most likely meant more work for him.

"Now if I were to encourage that love… a love the both of them so desperately wish for… bonded allies in the face of the evil Saotome. If they were together… then… they could break Saotome's sorcery over them!"

"Pure genius, master Kuno." Sasuke panned. 'Sometimes I hate working for such an idiot. I wish he didn't pay so well…'

"Sasuke! Get me the middle Tendo Sis—" He halted himself abruptly. "No… this may need a more… deft touch… I shall do this on my own… If I can make this work, and surely I can for I am Tatewaki Kuno… they will fall in utter love with each other and break Saotome's foul curse by the end of the week! And then they will run to me and know my love is true! Ah! Can you see it Sasuke!?"

"Master Kuno… your brilliance never ceases to amaze me…" Sasuke panned once more. He had found that sucking up got him more money. Even if it was completely sarcastic. The Kuno's never understood sarcasm.

"Then! Let my master plan commence! Operation: Love! Bonding the Tigress and the Lily!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. At least it was entertaining.

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End Prologue

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It was originally title "The Kuno Liaison" but I decided the current title is funnier. Hope you like it! My life is shit so I write comedy! Enjoy!