Mayama stared blankly at the pure, innocent figure in front of him. Sparkling tears flowed freely from beneath her eyelids, which were shut tight from distress.
"M-mayama… why? After all this time… you chose now… you know I have tried to move on… with Nomiya… why can't you accept that?"
"Ayu, I'm sorry… I know this wasn't a good time to tell you this, but-"
"Leave, Mayama. I can't take this… please."
As Mayama closed her apartment door softly behind him, Ayu burst into a sob that hurt her insides so much that she collapsed to the ground. Why had Mayama done this? Why had he told her this now? After all these years… they could have had something. But now she had started a new life with Nomiya. She loved him, and didn't ever want to hurt him… but Mayama was something different entirely. She loved him with more of her heart than she knew she could ever give to Nomiya. And now that Mayama told her that he loved her just as much as she loved him, she blew it. She told him to get lost. She hated herself for that. Why couldn't she just accept him, like she had dreamed to do for many years past? She wanted to, but her mouth had disobeyed.
Suddenly, she heard the door to the apartment turn noisily. She stood up and straightened herself out. He couldn't see her like this…
"Hey Ayu! I brought us noodles for supper!" He swung the door closed and planted a swift kiss on her cheek. "Guess where they're from!"
Ayu's face reddened in surprise. "Nomiya…"
"Yeah, they're from the first place we had a real date! I thought you'd enjoy them tonight."
This was the last thing she wanted. To remind herself of him… of them. How when she told Mayama she went out with Nomiya, he got so upset. It tore her heart apart every time she thought about it.
"Ayu, what's wrong? Is everything alright?" Nomiya placed the takeout boxes on the table and walked over towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Oh… I-I'm sorry… can we have dinner later? I just want to take a little walk to clear my head… I've been stuck in here all day… and-"
"Oh, that's fine. I'll have it heated up as soon as you get back, then."
"Thank you." She kissed him lightly on the lips and walked out the door, into the main apartment hallway. What had she been thinking? At a time like this, when she's trying to figure out what she really wants, she reminded herself of the way Nomiya's lips felt against hers… she was not helping herself out at all. She walked swiftly out of the building into the cool night air. Normally, this would clear her mind immediately, but today it seemed to only weigh down on her even more. She headed off down the street toward the city park, her favorite place to sit and relax.
After walking through the winding trails and bright emerald trees, she found the little carved wooden bench that she would always retreat to when having a tough time. But she paused at the sight of it this time, and all her muscles tensed. Her throat tightened, and she tried to stifle a sob.
"Mayama…"
"Ayu… I'm sorry, I didn't mean… I didn't mean to hurt you. I just… wanted you to know that all that time… I always looked forward to seeing you, and talking to you… but I didn't understand it… I thought it was Rika that I felt for… but that was nothing compared to what I felt about you. I realize now… and I know that you don't even like talking to me or even seeing my face anymore… but I just want you to know all that… I just want to get it off my chest."
Hot tears poured out of her eyes, and she felt her face burn hot with a furious blush.
"Mayama… you're still an idiot. Who told you I wouldn't appreciate seeing your face once in a while? Who told you to quit keeping in touch with me after school? Who told you to stay away from me all this time? Because you know what? All this time… I've been wishing… that you would come back to me…" Her voice broke with a heavy sob, one that she didn't want to come, but seemed to have a mind of its own. She automatically fell into Mayama's arms, like she had done more than once during those past years in art school, and let herself cry into his chest. His arms wrapped around her, and stayed there. Just like she had always wanted.
