Four times Len thought he caught Lisa having sex
There were a lot of things which Leonard Snart was willing to deal with. Being a career criminal tended to make the individual more accepting of the little issues and problems which life enjoyed to throw up every so often. But as he eyed the empty condom wrappers which were scattered around the hallway leading up to the bathroom, he decided that this was not one of them. Especially since he knew that the only rogue who was supposed to be home today was his darling little troublemaker of a sister, Lisa. Mark and Mick were off scouting out a new location which the five rouges planned to rob in the very near future. Axel was off doing whatever it was he did when he wasn't around around the apartment.
Len knew that Lisa was seeing a new man, she had confessed as much to him a week previously and Len was aware that she was also trying to keep his identity a secret. If he was honest with himself, he didn't actually care that much who he was, Lisa was a big girl and she knew what she was doing. But still, he would not stand for her doing anything in HIS apartment. She was still his baby sister after all. Following the trail up to the bathroom door he leaned in close to listen and try to work out exactly what was going on.
From inside the bathroom he could hear Lisa giggling quietly and what sounded like a hushed mans voice. Deciding that this was not happening, he burst through the door as loudly and as obnoxiously as he could. Inside the room, Lisa was standing inside the bath while Axel was leaning over the sink. Jumping in surprise the pair dropped the water-filled condoms they both held and the sudden burst of water soaked Lisas' feet and she swore violently. "What the hell Lenny?!"
"What are you two doing?" He asked, his exasperation clear in his tone.
"Pulling a prank!" Axel announced cheerily. "Condom water balloons and a seventh story window. What's not to love?"
In lieu of a reply, Lenny sighed and retreated from the bathroom. On the one hand he could not be bothered with the pair and their childish shenanigans but on the other hand he was pleased that he hadn't discovered Lisa with some...suitor.
x-x-x-x-x
From his vantage point in the apartment, Lenny could see it. The small compact car which the rogues tended to use for 'incognito' missions was shaking, and not in a 'Mark is having a bad day and accidentally summoning small tornadoes' kind of way. Lisa had asked to borrow the car a few hours previously and Len had seen no reason to deny her request as he tossed her the keys. He wasn't sure when she had returned but there was no denying that the small car was rocking very suspiciously in the fading sunlight.
Sensing the opportunity to discover Lisas' secret partner, Len bolted from the room as fast as he could and flew down the stairs until he reached the front doors of the apartment block. Walking outside silently he snuck up on the small car. Knocking on the window he heard a sharp gasp issue from inside before Lisa rolled the window down. "LEN! You gave me a fright you asshole." Her angry faced appeared through the window as she glared at her older brother. "When was the last time you cleaned this damn car out? It's absolutely filthy." She asked as she held out the small hoover she held in her hands threateningly.
"You're...cleaning the car?" Len asked as Lisa rolled her eyes at the stupid question.
"Obviously. Since none of you disgusting pigs were clearly planning on doing so." Len laughed as he moved backwards towards the apartment, leaving her to her task as he considered the fact that he may be being a little too suspicious when it came to his sisters actions.
x-x-x-x-x
Grumbling agitatedly as he placed the key to the apartment in the door, Len was not amused. He had been forced to go shopping to replace an entire fridge worth of food since someone, although no one was confessing to it, has accidentally turned the fridge off overnight and all the food had spoiled. He opened the door quietly and shut it a little more forcefully than he originally intended.
"LEN SHUT YOUR EYES!" He heard a female voice screech as he turned into the living room. Surprised he glanced at the source of the noise and was confronted by the sight of Lisa standing in the middle of the room in nothing but a very small pair of shorts. Making a loud strangled noise he forced his eyes as tightly shut as possible as he tried to will away the sudden image of his topless sister.
"What the hell Lisa! Why are you walking about like that?" Len asked angrily. This apartment was home to three other man and Len would be damned before he let them see Lisa like that.
"Should I leave?" A timid male voice inquired and Len felt his blood pressure shoot up.
"And who the fuck are you?" Len shouted in the general direction of the voice. If he had just walked in on Lisa fooling about with her new man then there was going to be absolute bloodshed. He was curious about the mans' identity but after what he had just seen, he was feeling kinda pissed off with the situation.
"My name is Mr. Jones. I'm a ta-tailor." The man stuttered
"Mr Jones is here to do my fitting for my new costume Len. I told you about this yesterday and you said you would be out all day."
"Tailor my ass! Why were you topless?" Len hissed.
"Because I need to get an accurate cup measurement or else my costume will crush me to death. Also, Mr Jones is very, very, gay so I'm not exactly his type! What's up your ass Len? Chill out."
Walking blindly towards the kitchen, Len dumped the groceries on the table and felt his way back into the hallway. "You can put the food away." He shouted as he slammed his bedroom door shut.
x-x-x-x-x
Waking up slowly, Len stretched leisurely in his bed. Today was going to be a good day. He had no planned activities for the day and he intended to spend it holed up inside the small room the rogues had designated his office at the end of the hall with a crate of beer and a head filled to the brim with new plots and heist ideas. He was considering allowing himself an extra hour in bed when he heard a faint moaning sound coming from inside the apartment.
Sitting up, he attempted to trace the sound. After a few moments he heard it again and realised it was coming from Lisas' room to his left. All thoughts of sleep vanished from his mind and he jumped out of his bed and flew towards his sisters' door. "LISA!" He yelled as he thumped on the door. "You have three seconds to make yourself decent before I come in there!" He announced before waiting for the pro-offered three seconds. Busting through the door he was dumbstruck to see Lisa lying on the bed fully-clothed while Mick sat on the edge of the bed with one of Lisas' feet in his lap.
"Mick? What the fu-" He started to yell but was quickly cut off by Mick.
"This little witch," he gestured at Lisa who was waving her hand to encourage him to continue, "has stolen my heat gun and she refuses to tell me where it is located until I finish giving her a foot rub."
"It's the high heels Len." Lisa complained as she put an exaggerated whine into her voice. "They kill me."
"So why were you moaning like a goddamn pornstar?" Len asked as he felt his entire attitude deflate.
"I am a man of many talents." Mick confessed as he puffed up with pride while Lisa nodded vigorously behind him.
"This is too weird. I am going back to bed." Len sighed as he was once again forced to retreat from the situation.
And the one time he kinda did.
Raising his eyes to the ceiling to spare himself anymore embarrassment Len blurted out. "And why are you sitting in MY office in nothing but your underwear? At least it's an improvement from the 'tailor incident'." He had jumped into the apartment quickly to pick up some paperwork and as soon as he entered the small office he had been assaulted with the sight of Lisa behind his desk in nothing but a bra.
"It's too damn hot in this apartment Len!" Lisa scowled, her face was quite red and Len could see the beginnings of small beads of sweat appearing on her forehead. "And you're not the only one who uses this office space."
"Do you know what? I don't even care. I'm going back out anyway so do whatever you want." He shut the office door behind him and Lisa waited patiently until she also heard the front door slam before she spoke.
"You can come out now Cisco." Lisa whispered quietly as she wheeled away from the table, her underwear rubbing against the leather chair uncomfortably. She was thanking every deity she could imagine that Len has stayed on the other side of the table or else the jig would have been up. A small shaggy-haired head appeared from underneath the table as Cisco emerged, his face was flaming red and Lisa could see the fear in his expression as he crawled out slowly.
"Lisa! You said that he was supposed to be out all day." Ciscos' eyes were comically wide as he stood in the middle of Leonard Snarts' office in nothing but his boxers. "What if he had caught us! Do you remember the last time we met? He would have frozen my fingers off!"
"I imagine after he realised what you've been doing with those fingers for the last month he probably would." Lisa winked. "But then he'd also have to move onto your tongue and then your pen-"
"Noooooope! Nope! Don't even say it Lisa!" Cisco exclaimed as he winced. "Little Cisco is not really feeling this conversation."
"Well then lets stop talking." Lisa smirked as she stood up again and stalked towards the scientist. "I believe we were 'fooling around' as the kids say before Lenny came in."
"Yeah I think we were." Cisco smiled back as he allowed Lisa to push him against the wall.