This is melrocks622 and xxxHazelxCrimsonxxx. We switched off every third sentence (well at least in the beginning, but sometimes we each wrote way more), We hope you are new (crackish) Hetalia fic! Warning…swearing

Disclaimer: We do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.

Couples: Spamano, USUK, Franada, AusHun

The Cruise of International Love

He is mighty, mightier than the sword.

-Confucius (me)

Lovino's POV:

I walked into my small dinky cruise room, and I instantly dreaded it. So why the hell had I come on a fucking cruise ship? You could blame my idiotic brother for that. My little brother and my brother's douchebag potato sucking bastard fiancé had happen to win three free tickets, and guess who they had invited? That's right, me. Now I was stuck for four weeks on this motherfucking ship. Nein, that's what I had wanted to say. Yeah, I learned some words in fucking german from my fucking brother's fiancé. What has the world come to? Anyway, I had just finished unpacking my bags in my small (but thankfully single) room, when I decided to take a nice long siesta. Of course, since the world hates me, someone had to knock on the door. I opened the door, and there was this tan, tall guy.

"Room service," he said in a sing-song voice.

"I didn't order any motherfucking room service," I slammed the door in his face. Fucking tan guys interrupting my siesta. I was about to get back to my aforementioned siesta when someone knocked on the door again.

I opened the door, and the tan guy was still there, holding a platter of what spelled like pasta.

"Room service", he said again, but this time added, "It's from room 2A. The man said he was your brother."

"Set it down," I growled angrily. Fucking brother was preventing my siesta.

He invited himself in to set the table with the pasta. As he put the last plate down, he introduced himself, "Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo is my name. My expertise in catering has landed me a job serving rooms here on, Pine Tree Cruises."

He continued to babble on about Pine Tree Cruises topnotch services, while I glared at him, hoping it would make him leave, or at least stop talking. For a second he quieted down, but soon began asking me more personal questions.

"So," Antonio began, "I noticed that, unlike your brother, you're staying in a single room."

"Obviously," I rolled my eyes, "I don't have a fucking potato sucking bastard as a fiancé." Antonio gave me a smile, and I continued, "And I don't want to sit here talking fucking small talk with you, when I could be having a siesta."

He gave me another big smile, and then exited the room. But not without adding, "Just call the front desk if you need my help!"

After he finally left I decided to settle down into a nice long siesta, but on climbing under the covers, I discovered that I was no longer tired.

Alfred's POV:

"I'll be the hero," I shouted, entering my room on Pine Tree Cruises. As I plopped down on my bed, I though about all times I had saved the world.

"This bed… it seems….lumpy," I said out loud.

"That's because it isn't a bed," someone mumbled from under me

I looked around trying to find the source of the voice, "Who are you? Are you a ghost?"

"I'm not a ghost, you git! My name is Arthur, but, more importantly, why the bloody hell are you in my room?"

"Your room? But this room is under my name, I'm Scott Kirkland!" I exclaimed. As I mentioned before, I'm a hero, but not only that, but I'm a genius. See, I didn't have enough cash to actually afford a room on the cruise ship. However, that didn't stop me from trying to sneak on the ship, and (surprisingly) it worked. As it turns out, Scott Kirkland hadn't shown up at boarding time, and I, the genius that I am, decided to pretend to be him. Normally, the ship workers would have checked for ID, but it seems the ship was already departing late and they were in such a hurry to take off, that they let me with no hassle.

"You're not Scott Kirkland," he responded. Did he really see through my charade? I thought it was flawless.

I laughed, "What are you talking about? My name is Scott. I am Scott. Scott I am."

"Scott is my brother, you git, so I know you are not him! Just wait until I report you to the crew!"

I knew that he had seen through my disguise, so I decided to go with Plan B, begging, "Please, please, please, please let me stay! I never been on a cruise before, and my brother is somewhere on this boat with my mom! And I haven't seen them since I was seven, that's when my parents got a divorce, and I really, really, really want to see them!"

Arthur knitted his (enormous) brows together, seeming to actually consider my huge request.

"Fine, you bloody git, but if you get caught, I will not help you. And make sure you don't come on my side of the room!" He said, while pointing to the side of the room closest to the door.

I couldn't help but feel estatic. I'll find you Matthew! Just you wait, "Thank you! You can call me Alfred F. Jones, or if you want," I winked, "the hero."

France's POV:

"Mon ami, it's time to get settled in" I said to myself as I entered my room on the cruise ship. I knew the one person I wanted to see was on this cruise, Matthew Williams, or, in other words, the one who dared to, indirectly, insult my fashion sense! How could anyone do that? I am incredibly camp.

You may be asking how he indirectly insulted my wonderful fashion sense. You see, two months ago, I was shopping at a nice store, and I saw these incredible shirts (on sale)! I was just about to go try them on, when I heard someone, who I later discovered was Mathew Williams, exclaim that he would never be caught dead wearing the shirt I was about to try on! I was so angry; I followed the (cute) boy around and learned he would be boarding this ship! I quickly bought myself a ticket, and here I am!

I started to unpack and hang up my (very fashionable) clothes, when I, heard a knock at the door. I opened it up, and low and behold, there was Gilbert, my best friend.

"Hey Francis! It's the awesome me! I have come to greet you with my (awesome) presence! Anyway, I saw some cuties on the deck! Let's go get them, man!" he said, whilst flailing his arms.

"Oh , mon ami, you know I could never resist such an offer! Let me get my party outfit on."

Lovino's POV:

"Ve~~ Fratello, Ludwig invited us to dance on the fiesta deck. Let's go, ve~~" My brother smiled at me. Damn potato bastard, I wanted to get this fucking cruise over with. First my brother, then the potato bastard, and last that damn Spaniard. It's like they all teamed up against me to make my fucking life fucking miserable. But, because I was a really great brother, I agreed to accompany them to the "fiesta deck", which was a really fucking stupid name.

The "fiesta deck" was just as stupid as it sounded; there were a lot of stupid couples dancing to even stupider music. And if that didn't make it bad enough, Antonio was there, with his fucking smile, serving some fucking drinks.

I waited for another ship-worker to come, so Antonio wouldn't have to take my order. When he came over, I read his name off the tag he was wearing, and in big, curly printed letters it said "Roderich". I motioned for him to come over and ordered some tequila, and then some more, and then even more.

Perhaps I had one shot too many, because soon the world was spinning and I was feeling slightly queasy. Despite this, I saw that drinking more was my only escape from this douchebag dancing deck. I raised my hand to get the Roderich's attention, but instead Antonio came over.

"Oh, don't you think you have had too much to drink?" He said looking over at my pile of empty glasses.

"Shouldn't you want me to drink more for business?" I scoffed, "Crappy worker you are."

"I should," he said, while smiling, "but I would rather dance with you."

Yay! Done! Thanks for reading.

Sexy!

Nein- no