Summary: For almost all the life Callen could remember, he'd been disposable.
Author's Notes: Tag to NCIS:LA episode 5x8, "Fallout". Loved, loved, loved the hug between Sam and Callen. Needed a little bit more of it.
I own very little and absolutely nothing related to NCIS:LA.
The thundering of his heart and desperate breaths were almost enough to cancel out everything else. Sam's arm around his waist that kept him from falling, the rust of wind and noise. Almost taken down by something like a train. Sure, it was thousands of tons of speeding steel and death, but in their line of work it seemed so...pedestrian.
"This is why I hate taking the subway," Callen attempted to joke. He turned and held out his hand.
The look his partner gave him stripped him bare. This wasn't a joke and it wasn't funny and Sam was scared.
For almost all the life Callen could remember, he'd been disposable.
Some foster homes lasted longer than others, but never long enough to be home. And there were times that was better. It was better because they were terrible places with terrible people. Or, on rare, occasions, they could have been great. But temporary. And no matter what mushy poets or songs say, they loss of love is definitely worse than never having it.
So he stopped looking for it. He stopped even accepting the possibility of it.
He took care of himself, protected himself and never trusted anyone too much.
Until Sam.
Hetty was a spy, an agent through and through, like him. There were levels and layers and there was always an angle. Often, Callen enjoyed their verbal sparring and intellectual chess. And he trusted her more than most.
But that wasn't much.
Sam wasn't a spy. He wore his heart on his sleeve and his love and loyalty like armor. At first, it read like weakness to Callen. How could he open himself up to so much betrayal? How could anyone care so much and not burn up?
It had taken years and bullets and blood for Callen to learn there was nothing weak about Sam Hanna. It was just a different kind of strong. A strength that was warm, while Callen ran cold. Bracing where Callen was cutting. The compliment was masterful. Hetty's pairing the two of them was inspired, though neither had known it at the time.
Callen knew it now. His partner grabbed his hand and pulled him close. Wrapped in Sam's powerful arms, G knew true strength and love. He wasn't disposable, there were people who needed him.
Home did not elude him anymore.