Beta Read by: CrystalWolf10
Disclaimer: I own every turtle in the whole universe, except for these.
One shot, a random conversation ending in typical turtle fashion.
It was dinner time in the turtles' lair. The four of them were sitting around the table, but Master Splinter was in his room. It was very hard to get food out of fur, and he had long since given up on trying to teach his sons the divine art of table manners. As long as the kitchen was recognizable by the time they left, he said nothing about his sons' eating habits.
On this particular night, it was probably a good thing that he did this, as Mikey had won and they were having pizza for the fourth night this week. As repetitive as the food was, the argument they were having was worse.
"-don't even understand how you can eat that. It looks like your food's rotting from the inside out!"
"If you don't like it, then don't eat it!" Raph snapped as he spread more of the white substance onto his dinner.
Don would not let it go. "Even the name sounds disgusting: sour cream! Why would you want to eat something that's just two letters off from soured? You're eating rotting food! And cream should only go on breaded products, like bagels."
"Crust is bread," Raph uselessly pointed out. "It doesn't even taste like anything, and I don't want to hear about weird things on food when you're over there eating that!" Raph didn't need to point at the green and black circles embedded in the cheesed up slice for everyone to know what he meant. "It looks like there's bugs all over your food!"
The purple-banded brother tensed and snapped, "At least there's a point to olives instead of disgusting your siblings! Olives give your food heightened flavor; yours just makes it all squishy and gross, and half the time you put the stuff back in the box with your food!"
Don would have continued, but Raph stopped him by pointing out, "And why aren't you going after big mouth over there?" He paused for a moment to jab his thumb at their oldest brother. "Green peppers, jalapenos, mushrooms, and garlic. Gag!"
Leo would have defended his dietary habits if his mouth wasn't full at the moment, so Raph chose to keep going. "You ever wonder why we've never met a vampire? Mister Stank-Breath over there!"
As Leo managed to get his dinner down, he chose not to comment on this, and instead threw the fire at someone else. "Fruit does not belong on pizza. Go after Mikey for a change."
Everyone froze and looked to the youngest as they realized he had yet to put in a thought, which was highly unlike him.
Yet, his wide blue eyes were not focused on the conversation at hand at all. Instead, as the room went silent, he looked back at the others and asked, "If a turtle is about to lay eggs, is she considered pregnant?"
Dead silence fell as the others digested this. The others were so quiet that you could have heard a needle drop.
With a slight shake, Donnie was the first to revive. "That was the most random question I've ever heard in my life."
Mikey grinned and looked around at the others as if coming back from his home planet before continuing in a more stable voice. "Think about it. Does the turtle count as being a mother when the babies actually hatch, or when they have the eggs? If they're going to lay eggs in like whatever the set time period is, then does that count as being pregnant with hundreds of babies?"
"I'm not even going there," Raph muttered as he took his dinner over to the TV to finish his meal in peace.
Leo also decided that, in a situation like this, it was best to ignore his little brother, so he went off to enjoy his vampire-resistant dinner in his room.
As they all dispersed throughout their home, the noise level started to increase. Raph had the TV blaring, so Leo went into his room and turned up his radio, and a noise contest went on for the next thirty minutes. Don went into his room and closed the door, then inserted ear plugs to try and block out the noise. Mikey disappeared by himself for a while, and then reappeared, ready to torment the others for ignoring him during dinner.
Unfortunately, the first person he spotted was Raph, who had finished his meal and was howling at the TV as his favorite wrestlers fake-beat the snot out of each other.
The gait he used to walk over to his brother should have tipped the red-banded turtle off, if he was paying attention. But he wasn't, so it took Mikey sitting on the arm of the sofa for him to even get the briefest notice.
"Get lost, bro. I'm in the middle of something here."
Mikey didn't even seem to hear him. His eyes were focused on the TV.
When a good twenty minutes went by and the only thing his brother did was whoop with joy at a move on the TV, Raph started to relax, thinking that for once his brother was purely here to watch the show.
That is, until he heard his brother start humming the theme song to Kim Possible, of all things.
He put up with it and ignored it the first time around, but when his brother started the same song up again, Raph snapped, "Will you shut up?"
Mikey just laughed and started singing the song under his breath, not loud enough to be heard by anybody else in the lair, but still enough that the brother sitting beside him heard it.
Raph's patience was never to be tested, even on a good day, so when he wheeled around to shout, "Hush already!" the last thing he expected to see was the wicked grin on his brothers face.
Apparently, Raph had just said exactly what Mikey wanted to hear.
"SHHHHHHHHHHHH".
"What are you doing?" Raph was so surprised by this that he forgot to sound annoyed, more confused than anything.
"I'm hushing," Mikey said like it was supposed to be obvious. He then continued his terrible impersonation of a broken water hose. "SHHHHH"
"Do I need to get you a dictionary? I told you to hush, which means be quiet."
Raph might as well not have spoken at all; Mikey was attempting to break a record for making the longest onomatopoeia.
Predictably, Raph snapped and launched himself at his youngest brother. The two fought and the noise got so loud that they were sent to their individual rooms by Master Splinter for the rest of the night.
Like I said a very random conversation, I will admit that this is another scene taken from my life with the names messed with, Review.