Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi or any of it's characters. They all belong to Yuu Watase.. but I want Ami-chan!!

A/n: Hello there! I have never tried writing this kind of fanfiction before so feel free to tell me what I'm doing wrong! I want to be a good fanfiction writer so only your comments can make me better! I accept all flames except ones that are yelling at me about how either incest is gross...(I thought so two until I first saw Ami-chan and Subo-chan kiss!) or telling me that Yaoi sucks. (It doesn't! I'm bi and I'm fine with any kind of fic.. yuri, yaoi, or both!)

Warning!: This fanfiction is considered 'R' for mature content and contains incest and yaoi themes, if you are uncomfortable with either I suggest you leave... NOW!

Brother Of Mine

Chapter: One

It was a mid-summer day, around twelve in the afternoon or so, and here I sat watching the birds by the pond. My brother, Suboshi, always called me too gentle, not like a real man that I should be. I just can't help that I'm so sensitive though, I should be like him... strong and never showing a weakness... that's who I should be. I am older than him but sometimes it seems the other way around.

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder and turned around to see that it was my brother. Suboshi sat down on the grass beside me and handed me my flute. He smiled softly, he always knew what I needed before I said anything... I guess twins do have a special connection.

"Why do you always love to stay out here, Amiboshi?" he asked as I took the silver flute from his hands. His face that was watching the pond turned my way making me hold me breath. I don't know how long I had noticed him, but he was so beautiful! Even though we looked the same to people who had never seen us, we truly looked different. He had a hard look that I could always see though to the softness. His dark green hair was soft not too soft like mine that reminded people of a maidens hair. His reminded me of a gods'. His eyes were a strong ocean blue, if you looked in them you could see the waves crashing into his pupils. His smile was sweet and simple, cute and lovely. He was really perfect!

He motioned his hand over my eyes cueing me back to reality. I blushed a bright red and turned my head so he wouldn't see.

"Oh, um.. It' just so beautiful out here..." I announced quietly. "Almost as beautiful as you.." I whispered under my breath and felt my face burning red, I want him to here me, but I don't for fear he wouldn't take it the way I hope he will.

He stared at me for a minute not understanding what I said. "Hm? What?" he asked me. I just shook my head telling him to forget it, I don't need him knowing, not now at least. I don't need more rejection! Not after what my mother did... not after what my father did. I didn't need a family that hated me. I have my brother, and if I can't be in his arms but in his presence... I'm fine with that.

My mother hated us, or at least took her anger out at me and Suboshi! After father left us for servant girl at the palace, she cried every night refusing food and drink, and cut herself constantly.. if it wasn't for me and my brother she would be dead now. Always repeating the words: "What did I do wrong?" and "Let me die!" when she bled. Blood... always blood... whether it was hers from that sharp blade or ours from that sharp blade.. it was still blood. I hated the way she would hold Suboshi down on the floor and tear into his skin until he cried out, trying to make him endure as much pain as she felt. It made me cry to here him and her screaming though tears. The only way I was happy around her was when she would try to kill me instead of Suboshi, though he was always strong enough to knock her out before she sliced me in half.

Thinking about these horrible times, just thinking about them brought tears to my eyes! I hated my father, but now was the time I wanted him here most, to calm my mother and make her sane.

Apparently Suboshi noticed the water forming at my eyelids because he put an arm around me and rubbed my shoulder. Consolation was what I needed, and I was getting it, though I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve his love.. I know he doesn't love me the way I want him to.. just brotherly love is the way he thinks of it. But I need him more than that!

Not as gently as planned, I pushed Suboshi away from me and stood up. I felt the tears fall down my eyes when I realized I couldn't stand and fell. Luckily for me, he caught me just in time, breaking my fall. Everything around me blurred as more tears were at my eyes. They fell without permission making me cry even more from embarrassment. I didn't want the one I loved to see me like this! Not like this! I felt weak again. The way I felt when mother held me down with the knife at my neck threatening to kill me if I struggled. Gods I hated to feel this way! I closed my eyes and hid my head in my shoulder trying to get away from this feeling when he lifted me to his chest.

I struggled to be free from him for many reasons. One is that I didn't want him to see me like this, two is that I didn't deserve him, and three is that he didn't love me like I loved him! He wouldn't loosen his grip on my shoulders though. Shushing me to stop crying and rubbing my head to help me stop. I sniffled as I felt him winning this battle of strength. Like always, he is the stronger one of us, and right now I wasn't too happy with that!

"Stop it Amiboshi..." he continued to gently stroke my hair to calm me down, and it was working too. I could feel myself getting weaker, and eventually my crying turned into pathetic sobs of defeat. I went numb in his arms, I liked this feeling so much though I knew it was wrong, I just couldn't help it! It wasn't like I had any choice in the matter anyway.

He brought his hands to my back rubbing me gently, I never really knew this side of him. Only eight years ago I remember him soothing me to sleep, I was six and our younger sister Yukino had died that day. I cried so hard, but he was the strongest of the two of us as I said. Physically and emotionally. My eyes closed softly as I found myself falling asleep on Suboshi's shoulder. I was almost asleep when he laid me down on the grass and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Sleep well my brother, sleep well"

When I awoke it was dark, not completely though, the camp fire I saw was flickering about and the stars and moon shown brightly. I yawned and sat up a little as a thick blanket fell off my shoulders making me shiver. Looking around the camp I wondered where I was, and what I was doing in the middle of a forest!

"So you finally are awake." a familiar voice said walking into sight from the forest. It was Suboshi. He was walking to me with sticks and tree limbs in his arms. Before he got past the fire he set the wood down and walked over to me were he sat down by my head. My brother touched my face with his fingers and smiled gently. "And I guess your wondering why we are here..."

I nodded confused. He grabbed for my hand and squeezed it, not enough to hurt me though. He looked sadly to me as he massaged my fingers.

"When I returned home.. I.. Well.. the house.. We can no longer live in our home. The house was filled with blood and broken glass. Everything was broken or bloody... If it wasn't one of those it was completely gone.." he told me, I looked at him shocked.

"And what of mother?" I asked quickly wanting to know what was to become of us.

He stared into my eyes and then to the fire, "She was dead, covered in blood in her room. On the wall, written in blood were the words: 'Why did you leave me Shunkei?' it was terrible..".

"I actually mourn over our home more than our mother... it might be selfish but she's changed. And as I see it, the she died as soon as Father left.." I said sorrowfully. I laid my head down in my brothers lap and looked into the fire. What were we going to do? Find a new village? Live on our own? Were only fourteen for heaven's sake!

"Amiboshi... I..," he paused for a long time before he stated again, "..I.. love you..". I felt his hand hold mine tighter. "I've loved you for so long Ami... You just don't know how long I have had to keep it inside me! I just hope you feel the same about me... but if you don-"

"Suboshi.. I love you too.. not the brotherly love though.. a strong kind of love.. But it feels so strange.. I have never loved a.. a boy before.." I cut him off in saying this. I could feel him smiling behind me as he grabbed me by the shoulders forcing me to look him straight in the eyes. I stared at him in surprise.

"You are so beautiful.. I don't know how you could say I am like you did earlier today.. but you are the most gorgeous of us both!"

With that he closed his eyes and placed his warm lips on mine. He held me tight and made me fall backwards in shock. He used his tongue to part my lips, gaining access to all of my mouth. It felt so good! I closed my eyes as his tongue traveled though my mouth, he brushed against my teeth and swirled his tongue over mine again and again. He tasted so good, unlike anything I had every tasted! We found ourselves needing oxygen soon so we left each others mouth. He and I panted loudly as air entered our lungs.

"So how was that for your first kiss?" he asked me still gasping for air. I collapsed underneath his body my eyes staring at the stars.

Panting a little less I replied, "How do you ::pant:: know that that was ::pant:: my first kiss?"

He lifted himself above me, his arms supporting his weight just enough for me to see his face, when he smiled at me. "Do you really think you could keep something like that from me?" Suboshi said smugly to me as me dived in for more of me.

I just sat there moaning as he explored my mouth and played with my tongue. Though it was so wrong, it felt so right! He sucked on my lower lip for a while and then moved beside me grabbing the blanket and pulling it over us. He leaned over me and grabbed the bucket of water throwing it onto the fire so it was dark.

He laid back down beside me and I found myself once again falling asleep by my brother. Only then I wondered what would become of tomorrow...

[End chapter one]

A/n: So..? How was it? Please please PLEASE leave a comment!!!