"'kay."
First, Randomly walk up to him and start talking to him using big words that he can't understand, it's probably best to make them up. When he asks, 'What the hell you are talking about?', you then reply with the words, 'Sorry, I forgot that those words were a bit big for you.' Then watch the explosions start.
Edward was walking down the street towards the Second Branch library, when (randomly) this black-haired girl started to talk to him, Edward only understanding every third word.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, curious.
"OMG, Sorry, I forgot the words were a bit big for you?"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MINITURE TO A BONSAI TREE!?" Edward exploded, getting ready to pound the already gone girl.
"Huh?" Edward asked as he looked around for the girl.
"Second, make as many small implications as possible before he explodes."
Edward had gotten over his fit at the now-forgotten-girl, and finished the book he was reading. *Sigh* "Have to see Colonel Bastard now."
"'kay, Big Brother."
A tan girl flew out and across the library, crashing straight into Edward.
"Oh! Jeeze, sorry!" She helped him up.
"What's your gnome-name?" She inquired, tilting her head, black hair falling over her shoulder.
"Edward Elric," he replied automatically, wondering if she was implying he was short.
"I'm Calina," she replied unprompted, sticking her hand out to greet him.
They shook hands.
He turned to pick up the scattered pile of books he was carrying. "Hey, have you got the 'Small World and Little People Syndrome' book?" Calina asked picking up the books as well. She stood up to return the books and tripped over Edward, as he started to reply, landing face first. She stood quickly.
"I'm sorry I didn't see you down there!"
"It's 'kay," Edward grumbled, from the floor, taking her words as her literally being unable to see him.
He stood, and she seemed to do a double take.
"Man, your cute," Calina stated and as Edward started to blush embarrassedly she continued. "But Jeeze your short!"
"I AM NOT KNEE-HIGH TO A GRASSHOPPER!" He repied at the top of his lungs.
"Didn't and wouldn't say that." She stated calmly. "You wouldn't?" He questioned, curious.
"No, that is what my grandparents would say. Plus, I'd say that you are your own chibi character, you don't need to be changed!" And she fled, with Edward following her, yelling at the top of his lungs.
"I AM NOT MY OWN CHIBI CHARACTER!!"
"Third, and final play a game with your dog."
"Are you insane?" Calina retorted. "Playing with my dog will not annoy the chibi-chan!"
"Possibly, but if you play, doggie-jumps-on-a-certain-short-person it will annoy him."
"Ahaha!"
"Sammie! Here girl! We are going for a walk!" Calina told the dog whom suddenly appeared from nowhere.
"Good girl! Now to find the chibi-sized character..." Calina waited for a second.
'Damn,' she thought to herself. 'It could only be that easy'
Calina wandered aimlessly, her dog leading the way through familiar streets. Calina mentally drifted off, or was, until her arm was practically ripped out of it's socket and Sammie raced and jumped on the midget to a bonsai tree.
"Ofph!" Sammie exclaimed as Edward face planted and stopped.
"You, Dog, I will not play with you and you can be friends with others who like that sorta thing."
"Afph!" The dog replied, still sitting on the middle of the self made chibi characters back.
"GET OFF ME DOG!" Edward yelled at the poor mutt.
"Arr, err, rrur," the dog whined pitiously, moving back to Calina, who suddenly found it necessary to run for dear life.
REVIEW!
Possible follow up, but still a stand alone.