Summary: "What? How am I unsatisfying?" He asked. "You fell asleep last night!" She glared at him accusingly. "Is it a crime to sleep in this household?" He glared back at her. She replied angrily, "We were having sex!" He snorted, "Well it didn't seem like we were…" InoShika

Author's Note: I don't really know what propelled me to write this, but I'm pretty sure I got the inspiration while watching Friends… the one where Ross says RACHEL! HA! Anyways, I LOVE Shikamaru and Ino as a couple! They're so cute! Temari and Shikamaru are cute too- but I just can't really see them together.

I Married A Fool

Chapter 1
Day 35

"Ever since she was a little girl- she always assumed that with marriage, happily ever after would follow along."

"Shikamaru? Shikamaru? SHIKAMARU! GET OVER HERE YOU LAZY JACKASS BEFORE I-"

"Why don't you scream louder, woman? I think there's a couple of families in Alaska that didn't quite hear you." A young man in his mid-twenties trudged into the room sluggishly and glared at the blonde woman who had screamed his name and cursed him multiple times. He threw himself lazily in a chair and propped his legs casually on the table.

Ino rolled her eyes and glared back at Shikamaru with equal intensity. She continued to throw him dirty looks as she began slamming the pots and pans into the sink, "Oh haha, you're so funny. Is that your new name?"

"What's my new name?" He raised an eyebrow at his wife.

"Jackass," She spat out angrily, "That seems to be the only word you respond to nowadays."

Shikamaru groaned as he buried his head in his hands, "Seriously woman, what is the matter with you? Did you call me over here just to insult me?"

Ino chucked a dishtowel at him and her eyes flashed angrily, "What is the matter with me? I can't stand your lazy ass anymore! You don't pick up after yourself and all you do is eat and play shogi! And for the record, it's your turn to do the dishes today!"

Shikamaru returned her glare, "Well what about you, woman? All you do everyday is complain, scream, and bicker with me! And what's the point in me washing those stupid dishes? You're just going to wash them over again anyways!"

"How dare you!" She sputtered, "You…You… Lazy and ungrateful!"

"Shrill and demanding!"

"Slow and unsatisfying!"

"What? How am I unsatisfying!" He demanded.

"You fell asleep last night!" She glared at him accusingly.

"Is it a crime to sleep in this household now?" He glared back at her.

"It is when were having sex!" She felt a blush creep up on her cheek as she yelled at him, "Do you know how embarrassing it was for me?"

"Well, it should be embarrassing for you," He snorted, "You put me to sleep!"

Ino clenched her fists together and racked her brain for a good comeback. She suddenly felt very tired- as if she just aged by twenty years.

A thought just occurred to her.

And she didn't like it.

This is what my life is going to be like. We're going to be one of the old couples that everyone feels sorry for. We're just going to argue and argue for the rest of our lives and we're going to die fighting.

The idea of living like that terrified her. She just had to do something about it.

There's no other choice… is there?

She let out a big sigh and stomped out of the kitchen. A couple of minutes later, she came back with a suitcase and began packing up her belongings.

"Wait- what are you doing?" Shikamaru asked, clearly in shock.

"Shikamaru, I can't keep having the same fight with you over and over again." She replied in the calmest voice she could muster, "Every single freaking day and I am sick of it! I…I don't know… maybe we…" She plopped herself on a chair and stared intently at her hands, "Maybe… we rushed into this. After all, marriage is a big step… and perhaps we weren't ready yet."

He merely stared at her. After what seemed like an hour of silence, he finally said in a strange voice, "What are you implying?"

"I think… we should perhaps… get a divorce." She whispered meekly. The words seemed unreal to her. She had seen marriages break up over the most trivial things. But she never imagined it would happen to her. Ever since she was a little girl- she always assumed that with marriage, happily ever after would follow along. She just didn't understand how it could go so wrong. They've known each other for so long and she thought she knew everything about him. How could their marriage turn into such a disaster?

"Disaster" is an understatement. It was more like World War IV. (Her parents claimed the title of WWIII)

She's only been married to him for 35 days and already it was over.

Ino looked up at him to see his expression. To her surprise- and perhaps a little disappointment- he didn't appear upset. He merely continued to stare at her intently. He had been preparing himself for those words for a very long time- but they still hurt him. His father always told him marriage was the hardest mission he'd ever get and that it was something he'd have to work on twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week- no exceptions. Shikamaru tried- really, he did- to make Ino happy, but nothing seemed to please her. When he did the dishes, she complained that he didn't wash them properly. When he offered to run her flower shop for a day to give her a day off, she told him he wouldn't be able to handle it.

"Shika… maru?" Ino whispered timidly, "Are you okay? You haven't spoken in a while. I know this is probably a big shock for you and I'm sorry, but-"

"Oh no, no…" he shook his head and gave her a small smile. He placed his hand gently over hers, "I understand. And you're right. It's probably… for the best."

Ino smiled sadly, "Thank you."

They continued to stare at each other for what seemed like eternity.

"I guess I'll be leaving now." Ino stood up, getting ready to leave. "I think I'll stay at Sakura's for a while and-"

"No," Shikamaru said, getting up as well, "You stay… I'll go."

"No, this isn't right. I should go, it was my idea…"

"Please, Ino," Shikamaru touched her lightly on her arm, "Let me leave, it seems to be the only manly, unlazy thing I can do around here." He gave a small laugh.

Shikamaru went into the bedroom and came out a couple minutes later with a small duffel bag. "I'll be at Chouji's for the time being. I'll pick up the rest of my stuff in a week or two when I find my own place."

They stood there- in silence- facing each other.

"I guess… this is goodbye." He said.

"Yeah," she whispered as tears began to form in the corner of eyes. She tried desperately to hold them in. "I guess this is it."

"Goodbye Ino." Shikamaru said and opened the door.

"Wait-" Ino said before he left the apartment.

He turned around slowly and gave her questioningly look, "Yeah?"

"I…" Ino stammered, "I'll… miss you."

Shikamaru gave her a sad smile, "I'll miss you too."

He closed the door gently on his way out and Ino, listening to the sound of his footsteps fading, burst into tears.

XOXO

"Honey, it's been three weeks. You have to go talk to him."

"No, I can't!" Ino wailed to her pink-haired friend. For the past three weeks, she has been living in her pajamas and living off of ice cream and I Love Lucy reruns. For the first time since… never, Ino's apartment was a mess. Ice cream cartons and tissue papers littered the floor and the shades have been drawn and windows tightly closed causing a pungent smell to form.

"If you miss him so much, why did you tell him you want a divorce?" Sakura asked gently, rubbing her friend lightly on the back.

"I…" She frowned slightly. Why did I break up with him?

Ino tried to think up a good reason and she still couldn't come up with a legitimate one. When she went to ask for divorce papers, the lady kindly asked her what went wrong… and she couldn't come up with a proper response. She ended up bolting out of there in tears. To her relief, Shikamaru hasn't stopped by, and hasn't called about the divorce papers yet. For the past three weeks, she's been trying to write down a list of all the things she hated about him.

"I have a list!" Ino said as she scrounged under a big pile of tissues, "Here it is! Read!"

Reasons Why I Hate That Asshole:

1. He's lazy
2. He's messy
3. He doesn't do the dishes properly
4. He sucks at sex
5. He sucks in general
6.

Sakura looked at the list incredulously, "Ino… I'm not trying to rag on you but this is the most superficial list I've ever seen!"

"Oh God I made a mistake didn't I?" Ino sobbed into her pillow, "I've lost him forever and it's all my fault!" She could barely cry anymore. She had cried so much in the past three weeks that she doubt she had any more tears to come out.

"Okay, that's it. You are definitely going to talk to him." Sakura said defiantly as she opened the curtains and pulled Ino off the couch. "I don't care if I have to drag you over there. You are going to talk to him."

"What if… he's already seeing someone? What if he's gotten over me?" Panic began to fill Ino's heart.

"Trust me, if he's half as miserable as you are… he ain't going to be seeing anyone anytime soon."

XOXO

The two of them slowly made their way up the building.

"Are you sure he's staying at Chouji's place?" Sakura asked.

"I think so. He told me he was staying there until he found a place. Since he never picked up his stuff, I'm assuming he hasn't found a place yet."

"Okay, here we are." The two of them arrived at Chouji's front door. Sakura gave her friend a quick hug; "I'll wait for you downstairs in the lobby. Good luck!"

Ino gave a small smile and watched her friend disappear into the elevator.

"Okay, here goes." She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

She waited for a while, but no one answered the door.

That's strange… I thought I heard voices…

She slowly twisted the doorknob, and to her surprise- the door opened.

That Chouji! He should really learn to lock his door. I guess old habits die hard.

Ino opened the door slowly and peeked her head inside. She gasped at what she saw. Every inch of the floor was covered with junk. There were old milk cartons, take-out food, stale pizza lying everywhere! The only space that was available was a tiny place on the couch. The TV was on and blasting music.

"Chouji? Shikamaru?" Ino called out timidly; it was pretty hard trying to beat the TV in volume.

Walking through their apartment was like trying to walk through an obstacle course. She had to step over things and maneuver herself very careful to avoid tripping.

She knocked on the first bedroom door. There was no response so she opened the door.

"Oh god…" She groaned and immediately closed the door. She just saw Chouji laying on his bed wearing only his boxers. His belly was hanging out loosely and rose up and down to the rhythm of his breathing. It was like watching a bouncing rubber ball.

She went to the second door and knocked. Again, there was no response. Ino rolled her eyes. I bet that lazy bastard is taking a nap too.

Before she could open the door- the door opened… And she was face to face with Shikamaru.

He looked very surprised to see her. "Ino… what…what are you doing here?"

"Listen, Shikamaru," Ino began, "I really need to talk to you about… us."

"Umm…" Shikamaru scratched his head; "This kind of isn't a good time right now."

"Please, this won't take very long. I just want to tell you that-" Ino paused for a moment. She had just noticed something very strange. She frowned slightly.

"Shikamaru… what's that on your neck?" She asked slowly, pointing to a big red spot below his ear.

"Oh this?" He laughed nervously, "It's just a little bruise. Chouji hit me with-"

"Is that a hickey?" Ino asked incredulously.

"No! NO!" Shikamaru began to panic as he saw Ino's expression turning sour.

Ino pushed open the door- to find a woman sprawled completely naked on his bed. The woman, blonde like her, gasped and quickly covered herself with a blanket.

"I…" Shikamaru began, but even he was at a loss for words.

Suddenly, Ino felt very ridiculous. So ridiculous that she wanted to laugh and punch herself for her stupidly.

Here she was, thinking that Shikamaru would wait forever for her and that she was the only woman in his heart, and coming all the way here to get back together with him while he has already moved on.

Oh God I feel so stupid…

Ino felt like someone had just taken a scalpel and was scraping her heart off piece by piece. Her mind was spinning out of control. She stood there- dazed- staring at the blonde woman on Shikamaru's bed, who looked very familiar. No word would come out of her mouth. She slowly turned her gaze towards Shikamaru.

"Listen," he began slowly, his voice shaking, "Just please let me explain the situation here."

Ino let out a high-pitched laugh, "There's absolutely nothing to explain! I think this scene is pretty self-explanatory. But don't worry about it!"

"What… you're… not mad?"

"Mad?" She laughed, trying to find a good explanation to cover herself up.

Think, Ino, THINK!!

"Why should I be?" She said rather shrilly and quickly, "Listen, I was just going to tell you that we should start seeing other people! That's all! Because I've met this great guy at… a party last week and I wanted to date him, but I thought I should talk to you about him first. But I see now… that we're both on the same page, and that's what matters!"

"Oh…" He stared at her in surprise, and she could've sworn he saw disappointment in his eyes. "Who are you seeing?"

"That…" Ino gave her shrill laugh again, "Is a… good question. Very good question."

No one said anything. Ino realized that he was waiting for her to say the name.

"Umm… It's… someone called…" She said slowly, "Sasuke! I'm dating someone called Sasuke! Ha! He has a name so he's real!"

"Wait- you're dating that pompous ass?" Shikamaru said incredulously.

"You know what," Ino began to walk towards the front door, "I got to go. I'm meeting… Sasuke."

Shikamaru followed her towards the entrance, "Wait, Ino… I…"

"Can't talk Shikamaru," Ino interrupted briskly, "I'm going on a date and I gotta make myself look sexy."

She strolled out the door- but not before popping in one more time to say, "FYI, he is not a pompous ass. His ass also happens to be very pretty and firm, which is more than what I can say for you!" She then proceeded to slam the door in his face.

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Oh, and just a quick question, do you guys want this to be a SasukexInoxShikaxTemari love square... or just Ino and Shikamaru?

PLEASE REVIEW :)

Peace out.

OnlyTheGoodDieYoung