Not Good Enough

I was always second-best. He was older by a year and that changed everything. They loved him so much more than me. I loved him. Everyone loved him.

Then things changed. They noticed he was... different from the rest of us. I knew he was still better than me. I saw the way his friends treated him, compared to the way mine treated me. They treated him as a brother. He stopped treating me like a brother, when it was I who was his real brother. He associated me with the rest of the family. I was a Slytherin. He was a Gryffindor. He was an outcast. He was the heir. I was the small one – the one nobody noticed.

He was the handsome one who got all of the girls and I was the little brother.

I was the one mum loved the best. He was the one who left. I was the heir.

But he still had more than me. He had happiness. He had best friends and people surrounding him who loved him. He was on the Quidditch team. He was the best prankster in the school. He had it all.

I needed something. Anything. I needed something to prove I was worthwhile. I took whatever was thrown at me.

I was asked to join, and I did. I was part of something big. I'd achieved something I could be proud of. He would be the jealous one for once. He'd be the one cowering in the corner. He'd be the one who was afraid. I'd be working with The Dark Lord.

I made a mistake. I thought I could be a better person than him. I got caught up in the Dark Arts and I wanted out. I'd always been trying to live up to Sirius's standards. Why couldn't I just be myself?

I'm dying. I'm losing everything I grew to know. It's his fault. If he hadn't been so perfect I would never have tried to beat him. I'd have never joined the Death Eaters. As I die, I realize something.

I, Regulus Black, am dying courageously. I deserve it. I need to do it, to save a hundred thousand others. He, Sirius Black, won't ever be able to live up the standard I'm setting. Because for the first time in my life, I am better than him. I'm doing something more selfless. I should've been in Gryffindor. I'm the brave one. I'm the one they should have loved and I'm the one who should have been thrown out because I'd have been the one who had good friends and a happy life.

I was just born into the wrong body. I die, knowing that I could've been him. I could've been better. I know that I've made up for it now, as I die. Fading, fading, slowly to peacefulness, where everyone is the same, and nobody has to try and live up to the standards anyone else has set. I am proud. I'm the one they'll look up to in the future. I am me and nobody else. Me.

Poor Reg :'(

Review please ;DD