Yeah, I'll keep watching for that boy
With those pale eyes
And that limp hair
I'll keep trying to understand why
He tries being so cold
When he should be so warm
Yeah, I'll keep watching for that boy
Who is so lost
In a world not his own
Maybe I'll help him find his way
Back to life
Where emotions are shown
Yeah, I'll keep watching for that boy
I stare at the empty field trying to grasp for even a moment the feeling of being alone, with only the wind near me, but I can't. Not when every moment I'm being watched, if not by friends, at least by enemies. I am after all I have done, just a girl, in their eyes. I am just a precious source, too precious to be left alone, to her own devices.
They think they're protecting me, from darkness, but nothing shields the pain I see everyday. It hurts so badly, to see anyone smile, its all such a lie a deep twisted lie that everyone wants to believe. I am defined not by my freedom to choose but my cowardice, in trying to find a way out.
But the one person who saw the truth I see, the pain I feel, is gone. He's run away, as I wish I could. Oh they say he is better gone, we don't need him, but they don't understand why they are right, we're not better off, but he is. They think he's terrible, a traitor, but he isn't. He's so much more than their shallow beliefs.
He's free. That's the only belief that keeps me going, that he is at least somewhere better; something kinder than my harsh existence. He's the hope I have of one day leaving, the only hope, and so I cling onto my memories of him, as vague as so many things have become, my memories of him are crystal clear.
One day I dream I will see him again, striding through this empty field, where no one is, but he and I. I don't dream of his touch, something I've never known, or of his compassion something I've never felt, but of his eyes, something I believe so deeply in.
I'm still watching for that boy, my hope.