A kind of courage
Summary: After Catelyn freed the Kingslayer, King Robb had no choice but to imprison his mother. She misses the Red Wedding but gradually sees her family fall apart.
Note: This first chapter starts with a dialogue between Catelyn, Robb and Karstark (taken from the TV show Episode "The Prince of Winterfell) and then the story veers in a slightly different direction. She is alive for many events (canon and non-canon) that followed after.
1. I know I'm right, why can't they see it?
Robb: Tell me this isn't true. Why?
Cat: For the girls
Robb: You betrayed me
Cat: Robb I -
Robb: No. You knew I would not allow it, and you did it anyway.
Cat: Bran and Rickon are captives in Winterfell. Sansa and Arya are captives in King's Landing. I have five children and only one of them is free.
Karstark: I lost one son fighting by yours son's side. I lost another to the Kingslayer, strangled with a chain. You commit treason because your children are prisoners. I would carve out my heart and offer it to the Father if he would let my sons rise from their graves and step into a prison cell.
Cat: I grieve for your sons, my lord
Karstark: I don't want your grief. I want my vengeance. And you stole it from me.
Cat: Killing Jamie Lannister would not buy life for your children. But returning him to King's Landing may buy life for mine
Robb: Jamie Lannister has played you for a fool. You've weakened our position. You've brought discord into our camp. And you did it all behind my back. (to his men) Make sure she's guarded day and night.
… At least he didn't put me in chains.
What have I done? Have I really undermined his position as King? Oh, Gods, yes I have. I thought being his mother he wouldn't be mad at me. But he was mad and I forced him to make a hard choice. He needed to show strength in front of his men. I almost forced him to kill his own mother.
But I was right. I know it in my heart. He didn't want to listen to me. They didn't want to listen to me. I told them to accept peace terms and they laughed at me. I'm weak because I'm a woman. I told Robb to try to exchange the girls for the Kingslayer and he ignored me. Apparently two girls are not worth one man. What do they know? Do they know how much a mother grieves for her children? All her children? Mothers do not see sons and daughters. Mothers see children. Men may know a lot about fighting, but they don't know anything about war and what it does to a family. I was right in releasing the Kingslayer, I know I was. Why can't Robb see it?
I'm a good mother. I know I am. Yet, I have lost all my children. I have lost Arya and Sansa to the Lannisters. They were alone in a strange city and watched as their father was executed. I have lost Bran and Rickon to the Greyjoys. My poor Rickon probably too young to even remember his own mother. And Bran, I can't imagine what he must have felt when he finally woke up after his long sleep and his mother wasn't there for him. Was he angry at me? Will he ever forgive me? Oh, gods, I don't know. … And now I've lost Robb. Not physically, no. He's the only one I have near, but he's the one who is the furthest away from me. I have lost his love and respect. To him, I am but a shadow, a sad reminder. Had I not been his mother, he would have had no choice but to execute me. I'm afraid I may have caused him to lose the respect of his men.
Everything I've done has been for my children. And yet, everything I've done has caused them nothing but grief. I sent Sansa to King's Landing hoping to secure her future by marrying her off to the Crown's heir. Now she's a prisoner. I sent Arya to King's Landing to try to see if the capital would make her more lady like. Now I have no idea where she is. I left Winterfell to warn Ned of Bran's assassination attempt, and now I may never see my babies again. I'm trying to counsel Robb, but with my actions I have only weakened his position in front of his men.
Family. Duty. Honor. I have failed my family. I have not done my duty. And now I have no honor.
TBC