Disclaimer: Don't own nothin'.

Beginning Authors Note: Neurobrand here. I know that doesn't really mean anything now, but I figure if I keep at this, it might someday. This isn't my first story, nor my first fanfiction, but it is my first submission. That is so mostly because I'm insecure. Anyway, this story sprung from the idea, as you probably read, of what the Love Hina series would have been like if Keitaro had come into the picture before all of the crushing disappointments in his life had wrecked his spirit. After some tweaking I came up with this alternate universe story, featuring a more balls'n'bravado Keitaro. You only really get to see for a bit in this chapter because, well, he got pretty messed up. The story, as I see it now, is pretty much heading down the path of silly/serious. I plan on borrowing characters and ideas from others series because this is fanfiction. I'm the Author. I can do that. I hope you can enjoy this.

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Warnings: Adult Language, Graphic Violence, Sexy Stuff

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Chapter One:

Keitaro's Worst Day

-or-

Keitaro Gets Whooped

Keitaro sat slumped against the side of a record store, moping. It was all he could do, really. He'd spent the last of his meager savings on the cold pack that was currently soothing his aching face. Nearby, a plastic bag hissed as it rolled by like a tumbleweed. The pavement was cold and damp.

Keitaro had hardly been more miserable in his short life.

The kicker was that he didn't even really know why his life had recently taken a turn for the shitty. It was like, suddenly, his karma had gone deep into the red and the universe was trying to restore balance.

First, his parents kick him out of the house, after he'd only just returned home, claiming he was a bad influence on his sister. The idea seemed crazy to him-he was always nice to Kanako. When she'd started acting oddly, Keitaro had just figured it was drugs and tried to be even more caring and supportive. Her strange behavior only increased.

After Keitaro was literally (when the young man had made to get his belongings from his room, his father had booted him in the chest, sending him pinwheeling out of the house) kicked out, he'd been forced to walk to Hinata Hotsprings, where his only other family lived. He would have ridden the train, but all but some two-hundred yen had disappeared from his bank account.

It was really his only choice, since he didn't know of any relatives besides his grandmother. He hadn't even seen her in years, so he wasn't exactly sure she was still alive. Desperation led him to try anyway. The ten mile walk wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for what met him at the end.

He remembered very little of his early childhood. Only ghosts of memories. What he DID distinctly remember was sitting in his grandmother's lap while she stroked his hair and told him that she loved him. Keitaro knew that the old woman owned a successful inn in the the Hinata Hotsprings area and hoped that should would let him shack up there for a time, maybe give him a job. She was, to his recollection, a very generous woman and he hadn't thought that would be too much to ask.

Keitaro found out soon after arriving at the inn that he was apparently wrong. He'd let himself in, took his shoes off just inside the entrance, and continued into the inn's interior. The place was quite a bit shabbier looking than he remembered, but he figured that his grandmother just wasn't able to get around like she used to. Aside from the disrepair and the complete lack of staff manning the lobby, it was exactly as he remembered. Keitaro called several times for anyone, but received no answer. He decided to wait in a small sitting room just off from the lobby. There was a pitcher of water and a couple of glasses setting on a low table in front of a large sofa. Keitaro helped himself to a glass and sat, prepared to wait for his relative's return. This proved to be a mistake. No sooner had he begun to moisten his parched throat than a wet girl with reddish hair walked through the room.

Naked.

Keitaro couldn't help the spray of water that shot from his nose as he choked on his drink and the girl couldn't help but turn at the sound of his gurgling breath. Keitaro choked again (not having the presence of mind to take the glass from his mouth at the moment) at the full frontal view.

Keitaro spent the next several minutes admiring the the Hinata District from a bird's eye view. It was mostly an immaculate and beautiful area. Everything was well kept, the streets free of litter, vagrancy was kept to a minimum... except for in the place Keitaro was descending towards.

Keitaro was lucky in that he wasn't inhaling on impact. He was unlucky in that, when he touched down in the filthiest dumpster he'd ever seen, all of the air was forced from his lungs and he would be forced to breath in shortly after. The dumpster was really a mixed blessing (though Keitaro would argue at the term "blessing" being applied). On the one hand, the sizable container was full to overflowing and everything in it was soft, lending some cushion to the young man's landing. On the other- well, the dumpster was full to overflowing and everything in it was... soft.

Keitaro was understandably disoriented when he managed to dig his way to the surface through eight feet of refuse, having steadfastly refused to open his mouth or use his nostrils while submerged, and flubbed the landing when he hoisted himself to freedom. He ended up flipping head over heels, bypassing heels, and landing squarely on his ass. It was not one of his prouder moments.

The unwilling dumpster-diver lifted himself to his feet and was disgusted to find some unidentifiable substance squishing between his toes. The barbaric girl at the inn had knocked his socks off. It figured. He was just surprised his glasses hadn't fallen off or been broken. Keitaro stumbled around to the front of the building he'd landed behind, bypassing an old man who'd come back to investigate the racket Keitaro had made upon landing, and made his way to the convenience store across the street. The last of his money passed to the disgruntled (Keitaro didn't know if she was always that way or if it was just him) clerk's hands, and Keitaro exited again, attempting to sooth his jaw. A nearby streetlight was the only respite he could find from the encroaching night chill.

So it was.

Keitaro sat on a spot of pavement that seemed to have the least broken glass on it and leaned against a wall. He didn't even try to get the muck off of himself, let alone lick his wounds (literally or figuratively). Too much misfortune for one day and his spirit was almost broken.

It was with a start that Keitaro became aware of a tussle at the other entrance of the alley he occupied. The light was dim, but the young man could just make out four toughs hassling a couple of girls in fuku. He considered ignoring the situation for a second, until the girls began to scream-

"Su, don't!"

"You let Shinobu go!"CHOMP.

-and bite. Then Aggressiveness (backed up by Decency) took over. Keitaro forced himself to his feet, ran his hands through his slimy hair until they rested casually on the back of his head, and began to approach the group. He ignored the ice-pack, his only material possession, when it fell to the pavement and burst. As he neared, he idly noticed that the thugs were all dressed rather sharply in black suits, but put the thought aside.

"Well, boys, it looks like we've got a biter here," One thug with long, slicked back hair began, flexing the hand one of the girls had bitten and addressing his comrades, "we'll just have to break her of that habit, won't we?" The other thugs chuckled at that (for a reason that escaped Keitaro, though it could have been that the guy looked like Vincent from Pulp Fiction, what a tool) and the thug holding the biter tightened his grip in response to her struggling.

"I'll just have to teach this little dish a lesson in manners," Vincent continued, raising his hand to strike the girl. "Lesson one is-"

"What's THIS racket, huh?," Keitaro cut in. "You asses interrupted my pity-party right when it was gettin' into full swing. When I can't get my emo moments out, I tend to get a might disagreeable."

All motion in the group ahead of him ceased for a beat, before Vincent lowered his hand and stepped away from the group towards the still approaching Keitaro.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll turn around and leave right now. This has nothing to do with you unless you involve yourself," Vincent said, straightening his tie. "Just turn around now and we'll all be happier, won't we boys?"

"That's right," a bald thug said, stepping forward until his was should-to-shoulder with Vincent, effectively cutting the two girls and the remaining toughs off from Keitaro's sight. "Your back is the only part of you we want to see right now."

"Wanna ogle the goods, doncha? You an' yer bum-buddies sure do have odd tastes. Filthy young men an' school-girls, eh? What would yer mamas think?," Keitaro said, halting his approach a couple of meters in front of Vincent and Baldy.

Cue-ball made to step forward, but was stopped by Vincent's outstretched arm. Vincent's other arm reached into his jacket and pulled out a black cylinder. A flick of the wrist caused the object to telescope into a baton.

"You don't know who you're messing with, boy, but if you did you'd be afraid," Vincent said. "We belong to a power-"

"Blah, blah, blah. Just let the girls go an' I won' have ta beat on ya TOO bad."

"You're just one man-just one BOY. We're willing to be lenient and let you go. How do you profit from letting us hurt you?," Cue-ball growled.

"Big words. Words all you fairies got? No? Then, bring it."

"Don't start things you can't finish, boy," Vincent said. "We could kill you and rape the girls and it would mean nothing to us. We-"

"Bring it," Keitaro interrupted again, beginning to form a rather vicious smirk. "I don' wanna waste all night jawin' with you turds, so bring it. It's like yer hair-challenged 'partner' said, I'm jus' one BOY."

Vincent seemed to sigh to himself, before lowering the arm restraining his friend and brandishing his baton. Cue-ball took out his own baton. They both charged. Keitaro's smirk widened. A good scrap always raised his spirits, and he could tell this would be a good one.

Just before the thugs got close enough to strike him, Keitaro's hand finally pulled out of his hair and whipped out, slinging dumpster gunk into their eyes. The toughs staggered back, trying to scrape the filth off their faces.

Minutes later, the fight was over and all of the thugs, showing various wounds from their fight, lay unconscious.

Keitaro staggered tiredly towards where the girls were standing, just outside of the alley. The scrap had taken a bit more out of him than he'd expected. His hands shook and he guessed it was from the adrenaline. The girls stared at him, apparently stricken dumb from shock.

"Wha'chu girls still doin' here?"

The girl that'd bitten Vincent, who Keitaro now noticed was very tan and very blond, shook herself, then nudged the other girl, whose skin was pale and hair was dark blue.

"We-well, we-we just-," The blue haired girl began.

Her companion took up where the other girl was unable and nearly shouted, "We were gonna watch those bullies beat you up, but then you beat them up instead!"

Keitaro couldn't really begrudge them that, he'd watched many fights just to see someone get their ass handed to them. "Whatever. You live 'round here?"

"No, uh-," The blunette fished for his name.

"Keitaro."

"No, Keitaro-san, we live on the other side of the district."

"Huh, well I'm not gonna be escortin' you two all over, I'm beat, so I'll just take ya to a place you can make a phone call from or stay the night at."

Keitaro was rather disappointed in the two for not immediately giving protest, considering what had almost happened, but just assumed the ordeal had addled them somewhat. He took both of their hands, causing the blue haired girl to blush and the blond to jump on his back. Neither took notice of the dirt and slime that still covered him. He turned towards the Hinata-Sou and started trudging, taking the blond with him by default and leading the other girl by small tugs on her hand.

"Where we goin', Keitaro?" The blond girl asked as soon as they started moving.

"My gramma owns an inn around here. I haven't seen 'er in awhile, but I'm sure she'll let ya stay when I tell 'er what happened."

"Cool!"

"Are you okay, Keitaro-san? One of those men shot you in the chest!," The blunette spoke from the end of his arm.

"And in the face! I saw it!," The blond added from right beside his ear.

"Sure I'm fine. It'll take more'n that ta take me out," Keitaro said and grinned over his shoulder at the timid seeming girl.

Keitaro was thankful that Hinata wasn't a very large district, because he could feel his energy waning. The walk was filled with good-natured heckling from the blond girl, who was called Su, and indignant responses from the blunette called Shinobu. All the while Keitaro distracted himself from how drained he was getting by listening to the byplay and occasionally ribbing the girls himself.

The stone stairs leading to his grandmother's in, when they finally reached them, seemed to stretch upward forever to Keitaro, and black was creeping in to the edges of his vision at an alarming rate.

Alarming...

He was having trouble breathing...

There was something viscous and wet in his mouth...

"K-Keitaro!" Shinobu. Keitaro turned his head towards her. She looked worried, scared even. "Su asked you if you feel okay, do you?"

Keitaro turned his head the other way. Su's face was very near to his own and he thought she might be trying to kiss him... but her lips were moving. All he heard from that side was a dull roar. She looked somewhat frightened herself. He turned fully towards Shinobu. She appeared to gasp while taking a step away from him, pulling free her hand. She pointed towards his face while covering her mouth.

"Please get off of me, Su," Keitaro said and leaned back. His own voice sounded muffled. She slid off of his back easily. Keitaro took an unsteady step back, getting them both in his line of sight, then reached a quivering hand towards his cheek.

It FELT okay...

He brought the hand before his eyes. It was stained red. He put the hand back on his face... and felt teeth. He looked back at the girls. Shinobu appeared to be sobbing and Su had a lost look. Su's shirt was covered in red.

Keitaro realized that he hadn't drawn breath in some time, and inhaled desperately, trying to fend off the black covering his eyes. He gurgled, then coughed a spray of red. It didn't make sense to him. He felt his chest, slowly, carefully.

Nothing.

Nothing.

No-a hole. He stuck his finger in without thinking, then choked trying to gasp as pain shot through his chest.

A woman, brown hair, cigarette, nice body, real babe. She had... the name escaped him-the blue haired girl's shoulders in her hands. Both girl's lips were moving very quickly without sound, there was some pointing, the woman looked between the girl and himself. Behind them...

It was his grandmother's inn!

Keitaro staggered towards the stairs. He'd almost made it when he suddenly pitched forward.

The unique sensation of a stone step destroying his nose put some awareness back into him. He rolled onto his back and regretted it as soon as he did. Something was really wrong back there and it HURT.

Keitaro couldn't breath.

The woman appeared at the end of his tunnel, sans cigarette and looking cool as a cucumber. Keitaro reached towards her with all of his strength, hoping to cop a feel before what he dimly realized was his death.

Then she was kissing him.

Then it was black.

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Ending Authors Note: Whew. I enjoyed writing that, but it's just after two in the morning right now. I'm beat. Hope you enjoyed reading it. I read these little messages all the time, but have never replied to them, but I hope that you can be a better person than me: I really would like to beta my stuff before it gets released. If you can't do it out of the goodness of your heart, you can do it for the prestige of getting to be the VERY FIRST to read this temporarily unknown authors magnificent work before release to the general public. How's that sound, huh? Tempted? I know you are, I don't even need to ask. Anyway, next chapter: Keitaro wakes up in a love hotel with a strange girl. Stay tuned... and stuff.

Oh, and reviewing would be appreciated.