I got a job as a local accountant
My boss approaches me with a stern look on his face
My boss yells at me for taking the day off yesterday
I tell him I was celebrating Layer Day, a holiday for Shrek
Everybody laughs at how stupid they think I sound
My boss, looking at me dumbfounded, tells me to cut the crap and get back to work
Just then, the smell of crusty onions filled my workspace
It seems no one has noticed the smell
I said silently to myself, "These people are in for a Shrektacular surprise."
A faint crash could be heard from the first floor, as the smell of onions grew stronger.
Looks like HE shreked into work today
The faint sound of screaming could be heard, and naturally my boss went downstairs rapidly to see what was happening
As he went down the stairs, a bellowing ogre roar filled the room with the delightful onion odor
My boss' pants were torn off, as was his penis, and it was shoved straight up his butt.
Chaos filled the room, but I knew it was because they didn't understand
Shrek says to my boss, "I'll always be better than you. Get ogre it."
Shrek then spots me
I take the opportunity to bend over and spread my ass cheeks as far apart as I can
"For Shrek" I mutter.
Shrek thrusts into my ass and fills me with sweet ogre love
Shrek seems pleased, looks straight at me and says, "Happy Late Layer Day."
Shrek leaves, pleased with his work.
Despite this incident, I ended up going back to college and getting a job at a university as a physical scientist
I performed an experiment to enlarge onions
"To where Shrek has taken me," I say.
It's not ogre until Shrek says so.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.