Musings
Disclaimer: I disclaim. None of these characters belong to me. Go away, lawyers.
Summary: Remus, Peter, and Sirius' thoughts on and after that fateful night when the four Marauders are together once again, the first time in twelve years.
A/N: I realize that Peter's PoV tale is different, but I can't get what I had with Remus. It works with him as well though. I always imagined him this way…
One: Peter
I admit that I am a runner. That's what I do when I get into a tough spot. I either run away from my problems, or run to friends who help me with them. I've never learned how to stand for myself, and therefore, my only form of self preservation is to run to safety.
I suppose I learned it from my mother. As a child, I watched her fight with my sister. They both had their own views on the world – most often, opposite views – and when they clashed, and that was often… well, it wasn't pretty.
Mum tended to end up losing, for my sister had a sharp mind and could – and would – talk her way out of almost anything, and into trouble as well. When Mum realized that she lost the verbal battle (she ends up yelling and my sister responding in mild tones), she ran to Father, who always took her side and put the victor – that being my sister – in trouble. Though I admired my sister greatly, I never could – and still can't – stand up to anyone.
When the Dark Lord ask ed me to disclose the whereabouts of my closest school friends, I had no choice. As much as I liked them, my hide meant more than they… I ran from what I knew was right…
When the third of our member confronted me a few days later, after my master was vanquished partly because of me, I fled. I used the skill I learned through my leech-craft, destroyed the street, and hid for eleven years.
But he escaped. He who had been sent to Azkaban for my murder escaped. After eleven years of relative peace, I had something bigger than a missed meal to fear, as I knew he would be out for blood, and in particularly, my blood.
We met again almost a year later. The three of us, and the three of them… and all five of them was against me. Before, a defense was placed up, but after the truth about my actions had been revealed, they were out for blood… but he, the son of the ones I betrayed, chose to save me… I pleaded for more mercy than he cared to show, and none more was given. When the opportunity came, I took advantage of it and ran.
I fear death, you see. It is my greatest fear; every time I face death, I turn and run, my tail tucked between my legs.
I'm not proud of that fear. I wish I wasn't this way, but that's who I am. I can't change that, not for anyone… even if I could. It's just me… And who am I?
I am Peter Pettigrew, a labeled traitor…
Please review. I know that I wrote Remus first, but after I wrote this one, I realized that Peter's tale should come before Remus' according to how it was written, so this is now chapter one, or, rather, musing one. However, this is shorter… Bah. Whatever.