Family Dinner
Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly. It was on my wish list, but I guess I wasn't a nice girl last year. Oh well.
A/N: Yeah. This is my first Seddie (and iCarly, for that matter) fanfic so I hope they are in character... Enjoy!
"Okay, Sam. Let's go over the rules again. One, no elb-"
"-ows on the table, use the small spoon to eat desert, don't talk with my mouth full, and avoid your little cousin at all times. And also, avoid your great-grandmother if possible. We've been over this, Freddork." Sam remarked, cutting him off and slurping her FatShake.
"I know," He said, nervous, "It's just that-"
"Your family is a little crazy and I'm a lot crazy." Slurp. Slurp.
"Yeah." He replied, "Oh, and don't slurp like that. It's impolite."
"Aw, come on!" Sluuuurrrrpppp.
"Sam!"
"Fine!" She shouted, throwing the now empty cup in the trash. "But you so owe me for this."
"What! Why?"
"For just because! And anyway! You forced me to go with you to some stupid family dinner! I thought it was just going to be Crazy and a few relatives but NOOO. It's the whole family." She even made hand gestures to emphasize her point. "The whole Benson package."
"Sam..." Freddie calmly responded, touching her arm, "It's not as bad as you imagined it. Trust me."
She took a deep breath, "Okay, not that bad."
She was wrong. It was a lot worse. A LOT. Within the last 5 minutes of being there, Sam has learned that the Benson family is made up of four kinds of people:
One) Screaming Baby Bensons in Anti-Bacterial Diapers™.
Two) Crazy-like creatures running around with tick lotions and handwash.
Three) Old Bensons who walk around slowly and eats inedible food (i.e: Mashed carrot and Pea Pudding).
Four) Nubbish teenagers who only talks about boring things. (One of them tried to talk to Sam, and all she heard was "train, train, school, school, boring person, KILL ME" - That last part was very loud in her mind.)
"Sam, you okay?" Freddie asks, breaking her train of thoughts.
"This sucks."
"Other than that?"
"Your family sucks."
"Other than that?"
"The food sucks."
He sighed, not wanting to continue because she could keep on going, and going, and going, and goin- you get the point.
"Sorry, but it's not like we have a choice, okay?" He whispered to her, not wanting anyone to hear. "You know I would rather not go if I could."
"Why are you whispering? It's not like anyone's listening to us."
"Um, yes they are. Do you not remember?" He tapped the side of this head, "All Bensons have super hearing."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah. Why do you think they're staring at you?"
"Because I'm fun to look at?" She suggested, bumping her shoulder to his, with much, much more force than necessary.
"Riiiigghttt..." Freddie sarcastically replied, but stopped short when he saw her glare at him. "Um... I love you?"
Sam sighed. "Fine."
The dinner was awkward. Very much so. Sam felt them staring, as if waiting for something bad to happen so they can shout at her. She tried her best, though – manners has never been her strong point – so that he wouldn't embarrass himself. She could stand it the first two minutes. But then.
It gets worse. The food was fine, but the problem is that they're only allowed a certain amount of bad (or, as Crazy-kind calls it "Not-Too-Healthy-And-Everyone-Who-Eats-It-Will-Be-Sick") food. Like ham. They're only allowed a slice each. And a half, at most. It drove her crazy.
Even though Freddie "voluntarily" gave her his portion, she's still not happy. She also took a piece from the girl next to her. And the guy across her. And dammit, she's still hungry.
After excusing herself (more like leaving while saying "Bathroom"), she took out her cell phone and called Carly.
"Hello?" Her best friend answered, much to her relief.
"Carls, I cannot take this anymore!"
"Sam? What's wrong?"
"Them. They're wrong."
"What?"
"Their mind is wrong."
"What?"
"Their food is wrong, their chair is wrong, even their ham is wrong!"
"Oh... You're still at the dinner, huh?" The younger Shay laughed, "Too bad. You guys got to the big announcement part yet?"
"Uh, no, not yet. We're in the middle of an awkward dinner." The blond sighed sadly, "With awkward silence and the awkward small talk. Carls, I can't take it!"
"Well, that is just the beginning, darling. GottagoLanceishereBye!"
She sighed again. Stupid Lance. Stupid Carly and her stupid date. She adjusted her (well, technically, Melanie's) skirt and walked back to the dining room. Splendid.
After dinner's over two hours later, you'd think the torture is over. But nooo. It's time for the Benson Sharing Circle.
"Okay, yesterday I went to the stote and bought a new cardigan." A younger version of Crazy starts, "And then, I saw this guy!"
All the Cousins starts to make the "Oohhh..." sound and it annoys Sam to no end.
"So then, I walked up to him. But before I could say anything, I realized that he has ticks and walked away! Can you believe that?"
The whole circle laughed as if this is the Best News Ever.
Sam sighs again for the hundredth time.
When everyone was getting ready to leave, Sam whispered, "Hey dork, now that I've met and survived a whole evening with your family, do you think we can tell them we're engaged?"
A/N: I know. It's rushed and so pointless. It was better in my head. I might rewrite it soon, though. But this idea has been bugging me and I can't sleep without writing it down. If I have any mistakes, feel free to point it out. And I guess I kinda failed in keeping them in character. Oh well. Can I still ask for reviews for this (crappy) piece?
P.S: Did you guys catch the 'Victorious' reference? ;) Tell me if you did!
~Sasa