Hi everyone…

I have written this fic long time ago and was having another look but didn't like what I read so I decided to change a few things trying to improve her by myself. Hope it's better now…

CSI are not mine.

Lindsey stopped in front of the door and looked at her aunt that was a few steps behind. She smiled sadly before turned on the knob and open it. She called her with a hand sigh and pointed to the couch with her head where her mother was sitting. Catherine seemed to have no knowledge of someone entering. "Mom?" Lindsey called slowly not to start the older blonde.

"Oh, hey baby" Catherine straighter up, dried her tears and looked above her shoulder. "How was school today?"

"It's was okay, I got an A in my history test"

"That's great babe" Although she tried sound happy Catherine's face betrayed her loving words before she looked away, hiding her wet face. The last she needed was her daughter seeing her cry. Lindsey looked at her aunt sadly saying, 'I told you so'.

Nancy nodded, squeezing the little girl's hair. "Why don't you go put your thing in your room and takes a shower… we can have something to eat after you finish, okay?" she suggested. Nancy is Catherine only sister, five years younger then the blonde. She teaches English for kids for more than ten years now. The girl nodded and ran upstairs. She entered her room but not before take one last look at her mom.

Nancy walked toward the couch and sat beside Catherine. "What about Jeremy?" she asked.

"He is with his father today and will be staying there for the weekend."

"That's good I think. Thank you for bring her home"

"You know that's not a problem" Nancy answered with a smile. Catherine nodded but didn't dare to look up. She tried to be face-to-face with Catherine and won a smile from her older sister but nothing but that. Yep, something was definitive wrong. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" came Catherine fast reply. She pulled her legs down as if she was about to get up, fighting a new wave of tears. Why couldn't she stop crying? It's been almost a week since it happened.

"Whatever is it is bothering you."

"There is nothing bothering me."

"Come on, Cat, I'm your sister. I know when you are hurt. I must say, when Lindsey told me about how you were doing I thought she was exaggerating a little coz you know who kids are but right now I see she is right to be concerned about you." Catherine stared at Nancy with eyes open widely. "It was the first thing she asked me when she got in the car." Nancy smiled and ran her pale hand through the blonde's shoulder-length. "Whatever is the reason is very important to you so talk to me sis. You know I'm always here for you."

Catherine got up and walked toward the front window. "What exactly did she said?"

"Lately you haven't been talking much, you are really sad and sometimes you just stop staring to nowhere and if she doesn't say anything or make a noise you don't even notice her in the room, like just before…" Stepping closer to her sister and looking at the reflection in the window Nancy saw the tear that escape from Catherine's eyes. Catherine, instead of accept the gesture of comfort she was about to provide got away from her and embraced herself.

Nancy didn't know if she was going to succeed at making Catherine open up to her which is very unusual. They talked about everything and Catherine always came to her when thins got tough. Catherine cracked voice told she was ready to talk so Nancy walked back to the couch.

"After I start working at the club I had experiences, sexual experiences with both men's and women. It supposed to be just for fun and Eddie like to see me with them. The thing is I end up fall in love with one of the girls, named Christina. She worked in the same place I did and I knew that what I felt for her didn't get even close to what I felt for Eddie."

"Did you tell her?"

"She thought I was being naïve, completely misunderstanding my own feelings, and that she wouldn't be with me like that. She changed after our talk and for a long time she couldn't even looking me in the face."

"Did Eddie know?"

"I don't think so. Or maybe he just didn't care because in his mind I would never trade him for anyone. I was so broken that I accepted more and more drugs from Eddie in order to forget her. It didn't work very well but then I got pregnant and I chose to stick with Eddie for my daughter safety which was a real mistake" she says, laughing in the end, more tears escaping from her eyes. "After Eddie and I broke up I continue dating men's,"

"Yeah, I remember you talking about a guy named Paul, a Chris and another one… what was his name?"

"Peter. It was safe to be with then because I didn't have to actually be fully involved in the relationship. Physically, I was; mentally, sometimes; but my heart they didn't scream for them, didn't belong to any. But them a few months ago I realized that history was repeating it self. I had fallen in love again."

"Do I know her?"

"You heard me talking about her more then once but never actually met her. She is the most caring woman I know, when she let someone get closer enough to see it. I have to say it took a long time before we become friends but it happened and thing were going well until I went to the lab one day and she was gone. She left… just like that… and she didn't say where she was going or even if she… will be back and I just…" Catherine forced a hand in her forehead and closed her eyes.

Nancy pushed Catherine toward the couch and in to her arms and this time Catherine didn't have strength to fight just broke into sobs. "God, I miss her so much."

"Oh honey I know and you must love her very dearly to be like this. Have you tried calling her and ask" Catherine shook her head. "Then what are you waiting for?"

"I know that if she just left without saying goodbye then she doesn't want to speak with anyone, including me. I can't call and not hearing her voice. I wouldn't bear!" Catherine sobbed once again before continued. "And if it wasn't bad enough I feel so much, I have to face everyone and pretend that Sara's leaving is not tearing me apart."

"Sara is gone?" screamed Lindsey. She had come down to ask if they could have pizza for dinner and heard just the last part. "Tell me you are joking; please tell me she didn't…" Lindsey voice crake and her eyes got full with tears. Catherine bit her lips and walked toward her daughter. "No! This can't be true!" she screamed louder. "She would have said something to me! She wouldn't just leave!"

"What do you mean 'she would have told you'?" Nancy spoke.

"I have being talking to her over the computer and over the phone sometimes, she always finds time to chat with me and when she is busy, she always calls me back. She is one of my best friends." A smile appeared at the corner of her lips as tears run down her cheeks.

"And since when this is going on?" Catherine asked.

"Since dad died. She called me one day to ask how I was doing and said I could always talk to her. She gave me her number and the MSN. I can't believe she would do something like that without telling me. We share things no one knows and she always gives me great advices about…" Lindsey sighed, looking away from the older. Catherine knelled in front of her daughter and smiled.

"You can tell me honey; I'm sure Sara won't mind."

"Mostly about how I should behave with you mom. She told me that you were really hurt because of dad even though you didn't love each other. That the last thing you want is to fight with me about anything so instead of losing my temper with you I should try talk to you. Of course we still fight but we manage to talk after it happens and she said this is how things should be between us." Catherine nodded, crying once again but now for happiness. Things between them have changed and it's amazing and it's even more amazing that Sara is the one helping. "

"Why you never told me?"

"She asked me not too. She said you may not like because you were angry with her because she closed dad's case without getting the bastard and she didn't want to upset you. She cared for you more than you'll ever know. That was her words not mine."

Catherine kissed her daughter hair, still hugging her and sat back on the couch. She was dizzy with all the information she just received. Sara liked her, very dearly. "Then why didn't she say anything now that we are friends? Why did she left without saying goodbye?" She looked at her sister with a frown.

"There is only one way to find out."

"Yes! You need to call her mom!" Lindsey pleaded. "Tell her to come back! That you are going to be waiting for her!"

"I told you it won't work besides maybe it's not like that, maybe she just…" Nancy sighed, shaking her head and Catherine stop talking. Sitting in the table in front of her sister she held Catherine both hands between hers

"You never give up without a fight Cat even with the other girl… you told her the truth because that's what you felt and want you wanted and you want Sara." Catherine nodded, "And by what Lindsey just said Sara shares the same strong feeling you do. Don't you want to know of she does?"

"Of course I want"

"Then go find her. Tell her what you feel and deal with whatever she tells you. It must be a way that isn't calling her."

"Can't you use the lab computer and track her down?" Lindsey asked, sitting beside Catherine. Nancy's face lifts up and so did Catherine's.

"If Grissom finds out he will kill me but it's worth a shot."

"Now that's the Catherine I know!" exclaimed Nancy.

"Okay, you little miss, will have to stay with your aunt for a few days."

"No problem" Nancy and Lindsey said in chorus. Catherine kissed her daughter head and jumped of the couch.

"Thank you. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck"

She probable shouldn't be doing this. It can cost her job but it's a life and death situation so she has to try. Grissom isn't at the lab yet so she manages to get in to his office without anyone see it and start searching at the computer, for a bus ticket and a plain ticket.