Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or 311's Lovesong or Adele's cover. Enjoy and thank you.
Whenever I'm alone with you, You make me feel like I am home again
"Thanks for letting me come over." I say as she sits down on the couch with me, it is like déjà vu.
"Yeah, Eli, of course." Clare says, she looks kind of worried which is explainable considering what I have put her through.
"Is Jake here?"
"No, Eli is something wrong?"
"I'm just having some trouble concentrating is all. The pills aren't helping anymore."
She takes my hand and squeezes, God she feels like home.
Whenever I'm alone with you, You make me feel like I am whole again.
"Thanks." I mutter to her, staring at our clasped hands.
"What triggered it this time?" She asks.
The truth: A song we used to always listen to, one of the only songs that we agree upon. It was hard listening to it and thinking about what I put people through, especially her.
What I tell her, "I found the burnt script of my play."
"Oh Eli." She pulls me into a hug. I grip her onto so tightly that maybe if I hold her close enough she'll always be mine.
She makes me feel whole.
Whenever I'm alone with you, You make me feel like I am young again.
"Let's get your mind off of things." She pulls back, keeping my hand in hers, and pats my hand. "You hungry?"
"Sure."
She smiles, running a hand through my hair ruffling it as she gets up. Within a second or two she is back.
"Milk and cookies?" I arch my eyebrow at her.
"Well it helps me." She mutters
I laugh as she sits the tray, and herself, down.
"I feel like a child." I say.
She laughs at me, it is such a beautiful, soft sound, I can not help but join her. It has been a while since I felt this light.
She makes me feel young.
Whenever I'm alone with you, You make me feel like I am fun again.
While we eat the cookies she tells me about other things she would do as a child. We both supply stories and scenarios to the conversation. It reminds me that I was not always so dark and that there was a time when I was just a kid. The stories are diverting, mostly because Clare is telling them, to listen and tell. We both wear smiles on our faces as we take turns recounting our lives. Before I know it I stop eating and just listen, she notices picks up a cookie, dunks it in the milk and sends it my way saying:
"Open up it is the cookie train, chug-a-chug-a-chug-a choo choo!" I laugh and she takes advantage stuffing the moist cookie into my mouth.
I start chewing and say, around my food, " I'm so going to get you."
She says with laughter, "What? No cookie monster?"
"You are going to get it," I say as I lunge at her, swallowing the last bit of cookie, my fingers spread for attack and ready to tickle.
"Eli!" she squeals and giggles.
She squirms, twists, and turns under me as I attack her with tickles.
"Truce!" she calls out between gasps of air and giggles.
I stop and sit back as if nothing happened when she sees me she laughs and shakes her head at me.
She makes me feel fun.
Whenever I'm alone with you, You make feel like I am free again.
"Thank you, Clare." I say finishing the last cookie. "You really helped."
"Well are you going to be okay? I don't have any plans. Do you want to do something? Like go for a walk."
"Yeah that'd be nice." I say truthfully.
About a half-n-hour later we are in a park's surrounding trees walking and talking. Currently we are talking about an English assignment Mrs. Dawes assigned. She shivers and I take off my jacket, slinging it around her shoulders. She thanks me and I brush it off with a 'no problem.' I have another strange sense of déjà vu from summer, as Clare puts her arms through turns to me.
"I'll race you." She says with challenge lacing her voice.
I quirk my eyebrow, but when she takes off I run after her. Where we were racing to, I don't know.
She makes me feel free.
Whenever I'm alone with you, You make me feel like I am clean again.
We finally stop running when I grab her by the waist sending us crumpling to the ground. We roll over laughing next to each other on the dirt ground. When we are minutely able to contain ourselves Clare rolls on her side to face me and I mirror her.
"Edwards, if you got me all dirty I am going to be so very mad at you."
"Well, Goldsworthy, since you sent us spiraling down you have only yourself to blame,"
I know she doesn't mean to, but I hear a double meaning in her words.
"True. I seem to do that a lot." I murmur.
I think, then, that she realizes what she said.
"No, Eli I did not mean it like that."
"I know." I say. "But you do have to admit that I tend to soil things."
"Don't say that, come on be happy." She beams a bright smile at me.
"You are right, look at me, about to soil another happy scene."
"Eli, when will you get it through that thick head of yours, you are not bad or dirty. You just have to deal with things most people don't. It doesn't make you weird either, just…" she looks for the right word. "Unique!" she finishes enthusiastically.
"Thanks Clare."
She makes me feel clean again.
I walk Clare back to her home and stop on the doorstep. She turns and thanks me, I tell her she is the one I should be thanking I was going crazy before I talked to her. She smiles warmly at me and pulls me into a hug, she is so close I just cannot help it, when she pulls back I hold her upper arms and press my lips to hers. She is surprised, I don't blame her. I drag my hands up her shoulders and press them to her face, trapping parts of her curls. I kiss her long, soft and emotionally, I can feel her mouth moving against mine. When I open my eyes I see that her own are closed. Finally, I pull back.
"Whew," I breathe.
"Eli, I… Jake." She finishes lamely.
"I know, but what you need to know is: no matter how far away I am for however long and no matter what I say, to you or anybody else, I will always love you Clare Diana Edwards." I say with all the conviction in the world.
She stares at me dumbstruck, I catch her chin between my crook'd index finger and thumb so I can raise her face to kiss her sweet, pink, full lips one last time before turning on my heel, bounding down the steps, and walking onto the sidewalk without looking back.
I will always love her.
However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you.
Thank you very much for reading and I would be so grateful for a review :)