Author's Note: Another short Wolfstar one-shot. This time, I had just watched Order of the Phoenix, and that's just angsty Wolfstar all the way through. Hope this makes sense, because I sort of began with one idea in my head, and ended it with another... So, as said, I hope it makes sense.
Rating: K+ (even though it's all that death talk I'm always writing into these)
Pairing/s: Wolfstar (Sirius/Remus, Remus/Sirius)
Genre: Angst, romance.
I don't own Harry Potter or any of it's characters; that's silly, I'm not that smart.
Remus was tired of waiting.
He had always been waiting, for everything. It would not be a lie if he said that his entire life had been one long wait.
In the beginning it had, of course, not been more than simple things; he was the one who chose to wait for Peter - always a bit late - on platform nine and three-quarters every year before they went to Hogwarts. In that case, Sirius and James had chosen not to wait, but to get on the train directly.
Remus did not have a problem with that, even though he sure wanted to sit down comfortably with his friends as soon as possible. Maybe that was why he was sorted into Gryffindor; because he was noble, in some way.
Other than that, Remus had been the one in the group who lived far away from the other boys - so far away, in fact, that he only could contact his friends during the summer by owl. He knew, while writing his letters to them all, that he actually did not need to. He knew that they were all together, probably running around the Potters' house, driving James' parents completely mad; and Remus was not there for it. He never was.
This did not bother him too much though, because he made himself busy with books, and such - which, of course, led to nine Outstandings in their sixth year at Hogwarts.
It was somewhat obvious to Remus' friends, by the time they had all - as Sirius would have put it - become grown-upsy, that Remus was the one who waited for everything to happen, and most of all, Remus was the one who always waited for his turn.
Out of every lie he had ever been told, though, the worst one was; wait. This was a lie that Remus - embarrassing as it was - had strongly believed in, until the opposite was proved to him.
As the fascinatingly optimistic pessimist Remus was, he had been looking forward to Sirius moving in with him, even if he knew it was something obviously too good to be true.
Them moving together was actually a subject at least Remus had had in mind for a long time, and after a while, he had been able to see it in Sirius' eyes that he, too, thought about it.
But was that not one of all Sirius' qualities - the unwill to grow up? Moving together would mean that they chose each other, and would never run about to other men, maybe ever. Remus was comfortable with this - he had settled for Sirius a long time ago, already when they graduated - but he was not sure Sirius felt the same way.
It was when he found out that in fact, Sirius did, everything seemed like it would sort itself out.
Thirteen years and one James Potter later, they saw each other again. The feelings were nothing to talk about, neither anything to hug about. By this time, the feelings that earlier had burnt into Remus body like the worst of fires, was something to stay quiet about. It was not the time.
A whole year went by, in which Remus knew that his Padfoot was about, but he continued to tell himself to keep quiet and still. It was, after all, not the time.
The time never seemed to come, but as Remus thought this, the time actually did come - one year later, in the house of Black, or Grimmauld Place, if you will.
They had spoken, they had, but only of matters concerning the Order. When Remus stepped inside of the Order's new headquarters - or Grimmauld Place - he saw nothing but Sirius. It was like all the dust in the air, the paint on the walls, the very floor beneath them disappeared, when Sirius stepped out in the hallway and greeted him.
"You're the first one to visit" he told Remus cheerfully. "I'm glad. I've been very lonely."
"As have I."
Then there was tea, and conversations that none of them really cared about at all. Two hours after Remus' arrival, had the both men realised they were just as alone as they had been before - only with each other. A huge, wonderful finally laid in the air between them.
And so, everything went back to normal for several months. Since Sirius was not a very good friend of the Ministry or the media at that moment, Remus stayed inside with him almost all day long, seven days a week. It was absolutely fantastic.
Not once did Remus fear to lose Sirius, and he could feel that Sirius felt the same way; even if times were dark, they had each other, however clichéd that might sound.
Not once did Remus even try to imagine his life without Sirius again.
But suddenly - when he came home from the Ministry, that awful, awful night - he had no choice.
He had no choice, because it was not imagination - it was real, grown-upsy stuff.