'A Little Whiskey and a Lullaby'
by: Zanet

(note..I don't own any of the characters...they all belong to the true
creator..and the song 'Whiskey Lullaby' belongs to Brad Paisley and
Allison Krauss..)

'Spike...you died...you left me..'Buffy cried.
'Buffy...I...' he spoke but she finished..
'Exactly...I've moved on..Spike..I've met someone else..'
It was right after she said that a man walked up behind her and put
his arms around her waist. 'Something wrong sweetie?' he asked her.
'oh..no..I'm just finishing up some old business..' she smiled.
'Ok..but dont be long..we've got some..you know..things to do..' he
smirked, then leaned in and kissed her passionatly on the lips right
in front of Spike.
'I wont..' she replied, then as he left, she looked back at Spike.
Spikes heart sank to the ground as he watched her kiss him. He then
realized she was right. She had found someone else.
'I'm sorry Spike, but we were over a long time ago...' she looked at
him one last time, then closed the door in his face. A few tears fell
from her eyes.

He stepped away from her doorstep, then walked out into the dark night
alone.

She put him out..like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette...

He walked to a nearby bar and sat inside.
'Man..how could she do this to me?..what did I do to bloody deserve
this?.'
The bar tender looked at him.
'Here..I have a little something that will help take off some of the
pain..'
He handed him a shot of whiskey.

A few hours later he still sat there.
'God...I just cant forget...I've tried and tried...' he cried.

She broke his heart..He spent his whole life tryin' to forget...

For weeks he would spend hours in that bar. One glass after another.
It was an every night thing for him.
He had to do it because he wanted to get her out of his mind.
The whiskey just kept going through his system, and nothing happened.

We watched him drink his pain away..a little at a time..
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind..



 'Hey..I'm really begining to worry about you..you've been here every night for several weeks now...are you not sick of that stuff yet?' the concerned
bartender asked. 'Nope...this stuff helps.it really does..she hurt me...again...gotta get
her out of my head...because it hurts..'

Until the night...


'I cant take it no more...you're still in there arent you? Well I hope
you're happy pet..because this time its over..I'm going...' he cried.
'I cant take it anymore!..I want you out of here..'
There were tears in his blood shot eyes, as he cried.
He took another sip of some whiskey he had brought home.
Then he picked up an old gun, and stared at it.
He sat down on his bed, then...

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away her memory.

That was it...she was finally gone..out of his head...out of his world..
and so was he...he was gone. He had ended it all.

Life is short..but this time it was bigger...
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees...


Buffy rushed over to get the phone.
It had rang over three times, so she figured it must be important.
She picked it up and soon wished she hadnt..'Hello?' she spoke.
"Buffy...its Willow...have you seen Spike lately?'
'Uh..yeah...but that was like a few weeks ago..why?..' 'Well..I was just wandering if you had heard what had happened to him..?'
'What do you mean?'
Willow began to explain everything.

We Found him with his face down in the pillow...
With a note that said I'll love her till I die..

'Oh God...' she gasped then dropped the phone and fell on her knees.
"Its all my fault..' she cried..
'He came back for me, and I turned him down..I'm such a horriable
person..I'm the reason he's dead...he killed himself because of me...' 'No ..Buffy..dont say that..look..they're having his funeral next week..if
you'd like I'll go with you...'
'oh...ok..' was all she could get out.
She stared at the phone, then hung it up.
Tears were falling from her eyes.
'What have I done?' she cried.

A week later, Willow went with Buffy to see him one last time before they
buried him.
'Its all my fault...' Buffy cried.
'No..Buffy..its not..' Willow told her. 'Look...you dont understand..' she screamed. tears were pouring from her
eyes.
'He killed himself because of me...' she fell on her knees.
She hurt so bad.

And when we buried him beneath the willow...
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby...

Two years later....

The rumors flew..but nobody knew how much she blamed herself...

'Oh my God..this cant be happening to me..is the world ending?..' Buffy
screamed. 'First Spike died..then James left me..and now..' she looked down at the
test as it beeped.
Positive. She was pregnant.
'No...' she fell on her knees and cried.
'This cant be happening..I cant do this..this wasnt supposed to ever
happen...'
More tears began to fall.
'It was supposed to be me, him, and..our little family...'
She cried and cried as she referred to him as Spike. 'Its all my fault..I've screwed up so much...I wish it would just all end!
All the pain..it has to stop..' she looked at herself in the mirror.

She rushed downstairs, and grabbed something out of the cabinet.
A bottle of whiskey. 'Ha! I knew you would come in handy someday!' she smiled as she drank it all down.
The entire bottle. Then she layed there drunk.

For years and years...she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath...




A few days later, she returned home from the store.
She reached into the brown bag, and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, and
stared at it. 'I've heard of what you can do to people...so lets see just how it works..'

She opened it up, and took her first sip.
'Awe...nice and tasty..' she drank some more.
'Damnit...why arent you gone..get out of my mind!' she screamed.

'I thought this stuff was supposed to work..'
She drank some more.
'Oh well...' she gulped down a bit more.

She finally drank her pain away..a little at a time..
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind...


Until the night..

She stumbled her way up to her room, and sat on her bed.
She opened the drawer, and pulled something out of her night stand. She was too drunk to realize what she was doing, but she wanted it all to
end...
It was a small gun, and she knew how to use it...
because she did...

She put that bottle to her head...and pulled the trigger...
And finally drank away his memory..

She was but 23 years old.
A mother-to-be..who didnt care anymore..
It was her fault Spike was dead..
She took his life and she wanted to take her own.
So she did...

Life is short...but this time it was bigger...
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.
'Buffy?' Willow knocked at her door, but there was no answer.
She then realized that the door was unlocked.
She opened the door, and stepped inside, only to realize that something
wasnt right.
She walked up the stairs, and opened the door to Buffys room..
and there she was...dead..blood everywhere...

'Oh god..' she gasped...as she turned her head, and headed downstairs to
call Giles.

We found her with her face down in the pillow...
Clinging to his picture for dear life...

They came and took her body.

Her funeral took place one week later.
Everyone soon realized what she meant by it was her fault that Spike was
dead.
And now they know, because she was too...

She was the reason for his death, and now...

He was the reason of hers...

We laid her next to him beneath the willow.
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby...

la la la la la la la...


Now they were happy together.
He held her in his arms...
And they shared a long passionate kiss..
Then they walked out into the horizon hand-in-hand,
and smiling.
Because they were together..and happy..

RIP


The End....

(Please let me know what you thought of it...was it good? email me at Sarahizdabuffneyahoo.com)