A/N - For the purpose of this story, Merle still has two hands.
He loved little Asskicker and would do anything for her. Rick still wasn't in any shape to be responsible so for now, Carol and he were acting as her parents. He had some ideas about what having a child would be like, but he was wrong.
Sure, he missed sleep and he missed the quiet, but Asskicker was something else. He couldn't be mad at her if she woke him up after he had only slept for an hour. He was scared the first time she threw up on his vest. He still hadn't learned how to burp her properly and worried she was sick. She cried relentlessly for everyone but them. She still fussed sometimes for Carol, but he would swoop in and dance around their cell with her, as long as the curtain was pulled.
Judith was running low on formula and diapers, so Daryl decided to check out one of the strip malls a few towns over. They had been through the town once before, but were rushed to return to the prison. Merle still wasn't making it easy for the group to welcome him with open arms, so he figured he would grab his brother and head out. Maybe if they saw him helping the group they would relax a little bit. If nothing else, it would give them a break from his never ending smart ass comments.
"Gotta take care of my favorite little lady," Daryl quietly told his brother who was leaning against the cell bars. Jude had just fallen asleep in his arms and Carol would have his head if someone woke her up. "We'll leave right after breakfast tomorrow."
Merle nodded and turned to leave. He went and packed what they needed for their run, including extra food and water in the event they would have to find a place for the night.
Daryl grabbed his bag and went to find Carol. She was already waiting for him outside with Jude in her arms. She was always there to see him off.
"Stay safe," he said. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he was a Dixon and Dixon's didn't do love. Then again, he was becoming less Dixon like by the day, thanks to her.
"Nine lives, remember?" she said, smiling up at him. There were so many things she wanted to say, but this was what they did. It was as good as saying I love you for them, especially in the presence of the others.
They made it to the town before noon. Daryl had come up with a military style marking system they used to track what places held what supplies. He made a rough drawing of where they were looking and used symbols rather than writing. Squiggly lines for water, a pacifier for baby supplies, pills for medicine, and a simple "f" for food. Once he drew a pizza, but then regretted it each time he looked at the hand drawn map and there was nothing close to it left anywhere.
After sweeping through a daycare, an insurance office, a bakery, and the police station, Merle stopped and grinned.
"Darylina, come take a look see," he said with his face pressed to the glass.
"Merle, now ain't the time to think about getting any more ink," Daryl said.
Merle was a tattoo artist before the turn and was actually good at it. If he had stayed out of jail long enough and was better with money, he could have had his own shop. They decided to take the equipment with them. Merle would be able to run the gun off of the generator or even rig something up like he had done in jail. He never would have imagined he would be in a jail doing tattoos again at the end of the world.
Everyone seemed pretty interested when the guys came back with their new find. They all seemed to agree with the thought that anything could happen at any time and they may not be able to take the few pictures and letters that remained of their loved ones. Black ink seemed like a perfect way to make sure things stayed with them for as long as they had.
"Cool! Dad! Can I get one too?" Carl asked as Rick entered the common room. He walked over to see what his son was so excited about and found himself rather intrigued. He always wanted a tattoo, but never got one out of respect for his mother. Nothing was stopping him now getting one now, though. He decided he would get across with Lori, Carl, and Judith's names.
He gave Carl permission to get something as long as he used good judgment. His son was no longer a boy and the way this world changed him became more apparent with each new day. He did laugh though when the first thing Carl did was run over to Beth and tell her he was getting a tattoo.
Beth asked Carl if he would hold her hand while she got hers done. She wanted to get a few musical notes from her mother's favorite hymn. It was special to her because her mother would play it on their piano while Beth sang along. She didn't have her mother anymore, but she would have her memories.
Hershel was not exactly thrilled with the idea of Merle touching his little girl. He decided to stay close and keep watch. He leaned against the rail and talked with Daryl about their younger years. He knew Daryl wasn't much for talking, but he would always make time to visit with the old man.
After reminiscing about his time in the Navy, Hershel contemplated getting a tattoo of an anchor. He never thought of getting one before, out of fear of what his father would do. With some encouragement from Daryl, he was off on his way to see Merle.
The next morning it was Daryl's turn. He sat in the chair in the cell Merle was calling his studio. He refused to let anyone in his cell other than Daryl, and even that made him uncomfortable. As Merle got the gun ready, Daryl pulled a small letter out of his pocket.
"Have I ever told you about Carol's daughter, Sophia?" he asked his brother as his expression turned somber.
For once in his life, Merle was sympathetic as he listened to his brother talk about the little girl. He heard in Daryl's voice how hard losing the girl had been on him. He talked about the horse getting spooked, falling down the cliff, and impaling himself on his bolt. He told him about his visions of his brother yelling at him and how it drove him to get back up again. Merle's hands stilled on his brother as he listened intently about Sophia exiting the barn.
The sorrowful feelings were completely foreign to Merle. Not even when his mother died did he feel like this. Daryl always was the sweet one, but seeing his brother this tore up, pulled at something inside him. He even felt bad for Officer Friendly knowing he was the one to stop the little girl's movement. He wiped away what he said was some dust in his eye and finished Daryl's arm.
Carol knew her turn was next and waiting in her cell until Daryl came to get her. She sat on her bed and looked at the few pieces of Sophia that remained. A school picture of her in a purple dress, a hair tie, a few pictures she had drawn, and a letter that was left in the camper. Carol wasn't sure when she had written it, but was thankful Daryl found it wedged between a couple of books.
She knew she didn't have the strength to read it and asked Daryl if he would. He sat down next to her, closer than she would have expected, and began to read the girl's words. She sat next to him for what felt like hours as the hysterics faded to sobs and finally to silent tears. He held her tight, only moving to wipe the tears away.
That last line of the letter would be what she would have Merle tattoo on her. She wanted to carry her little girl's words with her forever.
Thanks to his past life, Merle had quite a talent for forgery. He didn't need a stencil to recreate Sophia's writing style. After his conversation with Daryl, he took his time and studied the letter. The way things looped together in a combination of cursive in printing. He wanted to make sure it was perfect.
After a little time passed, Daryl was in the doorway. He had come to tell her it was her turn now that Michonne had her tattoo finished. He held his hand out to help her up and take her to the studio.
Carol wasn't sure if it was Merle or the pain she was anticipating that made her so nervous. Daryl could tell she would need some support so he stayed and held her hand. She was surprised he was still touching her in front of Merle. The older brother took every opportunity to pick on Daryl. Once he caught Daryl looking at Carol across the common room and broke out singing "My Girl" much to the reluctant couples embarrassment. They were well aware everyone knew they were together, but they didn't go around singing like a bunch of assholes, a fact Daryl was thankful for.
Carol presented Sophia's letter to Merle. The paper was folded so he was unable to read anything other than the last line. She didn't want anyone other than Daryl or herself to know the contents of it. It was too personal to them.
Daryl hoped his brother would stay quiet about the fact that he had seen the letter earlier. He only showed Merle the last line and told him about Sophia.
Carol adjusted to the pain of the needle pretty quickly. She hated needles, but had to have this on her. The blue eyes staring back at her were a pretty good distraction as well.
Merle moved swiftly but steadily, asking if she was doing ok as he worked. Daryl noticed that Carol was starting to fidget so he guessed it was as good a time as any to show her the tattoo he had gotten that morning.
There on the inside of his left bicep was an angel with her wings spread open. It was a little bigger than the devil opposite to it, but that allowed for more detail. The angel had bright blue eyes, a long, flowing dress, and held a Cherokee rose in her hands. She didn't notice it at first, but hidden within the dress was her daughter's name. She reached towards it, but stopped short of the still swollen flesh and rested her hand on his instead.
She was so touched by his dedication that when she tried to speak, the words failed her. She was saddened thinking about how her daughter lived her entire short life in fear. Once the threat of her father was no longer an issue, there was still the fact that the world was now inhabited by deceased people in a way that made her wonder still when she was going to wake up from this nightmare.
"Sophia?" she finally choked out. She had said it many times, but she still meant it. Sophia would have loved Daryl. Daryl would have been a great father figure for Sophia. They could have been a real family. When she stopped to think about it, in some ways, they already were. He really had done more for her little girl in that one day than Ed ever thought of doing.
Merle stopped what he was doing to allow Carol a moment to get herself back together. He watched as his baby brother took the woman in his arms. He had one had cradled her head and the other was gently drawing circles on her back in an effort to calm her.
"I'm here Carol. I'm always here. I don't plan on going anywhere and I won't let anything else hurt you." he said as he continued to draw circles. The way Daryl spoke and his body language told Merle this wasn't the first time that this had happened. Love may not have been a concern for him, but he could be blind and still see how much his baby brother loved this woman.
Carol was so wrapped up in her emotions she hadn't noticed when Merle said he was finished. The tears began to pool and fall as she looked down at her arm. There in black and white were the three things that meant the most to her. Three small Cherokee Roses underneath the words. She had one for Daryl, Sophia, and her. Above the words were angel wings. They represented not only her daughter that surely was an angel, but the man next to her. He had become her guardian angel on earth and he wore the wings on his vest to prove it. In the middle were the words from Sophia that she would carry with her forever.
I love you momma. Forever.