A/N: Been a while since I've written anything. Writer's block I guess, but I managed to type out this silliness :p Rated M for "themes" but nothing graphic.
The first time Bulma tried to dress-up for Vegeta was the night she had been cleaning out her bedroom closet. She was sorting through mountains of clothing and picking out what to give away to charity, when she stumbled upon a capsule at the far back of the closet. Curious as to what it contained, she popped it open on her bed, where a pile of old, outdated clothes from her teenage years appeared, including a certain nostalgia-inducing costume. With a groan and a wry smirk, she picked up the black bodice, complete with its fluffy tail and pressed it against herself, wondering if it would still fit after so long.
Moments later she was stepping out of her clothes and into the racy costume, digging through the pile to find the matching bow-tie, arm cuffs and bunny ears to complete the look. Admiring herself in the mirror, she was delighted to see that the outfit fit her as well as it had over ten years before, and she was mature enough now to appreciate how sexy it looked.
'I wonder if Vegeta would like me in this outfit,' Bulma pondered with a mischievous grin. She imagined the moment he looked at her, his jaw would drop and he would flush red up to his ears before scooping her up in his arms and carrying her off to the nearest bed.
In reality, his reaction was much less flattering, or exciting. He'd done a double take, but instead of panting after her like she'd expected, he'd simply frowned and shook his head, asking, "What the hell are you wearing?"
Bulma was taken aback, stuttering in reply, "W-wha… It's a costume, you idiot! It's supposed to look cute!"
"Hn. It's a terrible costume. You're not a convincing rabbit at all."
Bulma's face went red as she crossed her arms and pouted. "It's not supposed to look realistic! It's meant to be sexy…"
Vegeta's frown deepened for a moment, before he raised his brows in realization, and then dropped them again in confusion. "Why would you think I'd be attracted to you disguised as some kind of human-rabbit hybrid? "
Bulma angrily pointed a finger in his direction and opened her mouth to start ranting, but found she couldn't think of anything to say. What could she say to this clueless man? With a defeated sigh and a sag of her shoulders, she simply turned and left the room, leaving Vegeta to wonder about strange earthling sex practices.
The second time, Bulma decided to buy a new costume online, one that she was sure no man, not even Vegeta, could resist. When the package arrived, she brought it to her room and pulled the items out of the box, grinning impishly to herself as she dressed. The plaid skirt was so short that it just barely covered her panties in the front and her bottom peaked out cheekily in the back. Complete with a cropped, cleavage-barring blouse, and knee-high socks, she looked the part of a naughty schoolgirl. For added effect, she tied her hair into two pigtails and then set out to find her Saiyan houseguest.
Conveniently enough, she found him in his room, fresh from the shower and wearing only a pair of jogging pants. Soaking up the leftover water in his hair with a towel, he turned to face her and slowly looked her up and down. Thinking this was a good sign, Bulma leaned seductively against the door frame, arching her back so her skirt lifted to give him a better view of her backside.
"Oh, Mr. Vegeta, I've been a bad girl," She gave him a fake pout for good measure. "What are you going to do to punish me?"
Vegeta gave her a strange look, and grumbled, "Why are you talking like that? And since when do you call me Mr. Vegeta?" He paused, squinting at her outfit, before asking the more important question, "Are you wearing children's clothing?"
Bulma's act faltered and she instantly began fuming as her ego was crushed under his repulsed gaze. "Ugh, why are you so dense, Vegeta?! I'm trying to be sexy here, the least you can do is play along!"
"You look like a little girl," Vegeta said with disgust once he realized her angle, wondering to himself, 'Just what kind of man does she think I am?'
"I'm not interested in having sex with you dressed like that. It's disturbing."
He turned away again, leaving Bulma standing in the doorway sputtering angrily before she stomped off down the hall, slamming her own bedroom door loudly to let him know just how upset she was. Vegeta was left more confused than ever by this woman and humans in general. He was by no means a saint and had done many corrupt things in his life, but fantasizing about adolescent girls while fornicating was depraved even for him.
With a shake of his head, he muttered, "Strange humans…"
For her final attempt, Bulma chose to appeal to Vegeta's few known interests, and had created a chest plate similar to the one she'd made for him, with the dimension modified to form to her womanly curves. Along with it, she had sewn up a red leotard made from the same material she used for the Saiyan's bodysuit, and a pair of pristine white gloves and boots.
Wanting the outfit to look as authentic as possible, she had dug around her lab to find the old scouter from when Raditz had come to earth and refitted the green lens with a red one to match the suit's colour. Once satisfied that she had everything she needed, she quickly dressed, feeling both excited and nervous, hoping that this costume would finally be the one to get the attention from Vegeta that she'd been looking for.
She stepped into the boots, slid on the gloves and snapped the scouter into place before checking herself out in the mirror. It certainly wasn't as revealing as the other costumes had been, but her arms and thighs were bare and the chest plate was cleverly shaped to show a fair amount of cleavage. This was her last brilliant idea, and if the prince didn't drool over her in this outfit, she would simply give up.
With an encouraging nod to herself and a deep breath, she headed in the direction of the room she assumed the prince would be in, given the time. Sure enough, Vegeta was in the kitchen, holding a plate of leftovers from the fridge and she was happy to see he was wearing his own battle-gear. He had probably planned to train after eating but if Bulma was lucky, then he would get in a work-out with her instead. Vegeta looked up when he sensed her presence and his breath caught for a moment, lips parting in shock at the sight of his mate. It wasn't full on jaw-dropping but Bulma would take it.
Bringing her gloved hand to her forehead in salute, she said in a sultry tone, "Private Briefs reporting for duty."
She winked at him from behind the scouter and the prince visibly swallowed as he looked her up and down. Placing the forgotten food on the counter, he strode over to her as she adjusted her posture, standing straight with her legs together and her chest arched forward, thrusting her breasts teasingly in his direction.
With an appreciative glance at her generous cleavage, Vegeta's lips spread into a wolfish grin as he raised his eyes to meet hers. The heat radiating from his gaze was enough to send a jolt of arousal down her spine and Bulma bit back a pleased smirk, knowing that she had finally gotten it right.
The prince leaned forward, bringing his face closer to hers so his breath ghosted over her lips as he replied, "At ease, soldier."
His voice was a soft, yet deep rumble, and just the sound of it made her weak in the knees. The combination of his proximity and the hungry, lustful way he was staring ignited an intense, desperate need within her and she whimpered in relief when he finally crushed his lips against hers, taking her by surprise and wasting no time in thoroughly tasting her.
'Third time's the charm,' Bulma thought giddily as his hands cupped her rear and he easily lifted her off the floor. She wove her fingers into his hair and wrapped her legs around his waist, her content moans muffled by his mouth as he carried her to the nearest room where they could continue their performance in private.
A/N: Hm no smut this time, too much work for my poor brain right now... anywho, I figured since he spent practically his whole life in a "galactic army," military role-play might be the only kind Vegeta would actually participate in and would be the least far-fetched haha :P