The pain in her chest was unlike anything she had ever felt before. Spencer had never been one to let her emotions flow freely, but bottling them up had become more and more difficult, and she had no idea how much longer her body could keep it up.

Only three days had passed since Spencer had last seen Toby, but to her it felt like an eternity. Every time she heard his name, it felt as if her heart was going to burst with sadness and remorse. Toby had become her everything, and she loved him so much, that when -A told her to keep him safe, she knew the only way to do that would be to leave him alone, even if all she wanted was for him to stay and protect her. Not only protect her, but love her just like she loved him. The last thing Spencer ever wanted to see was Toby get hurt, she just didn't know being without him would be so painful for her.

After being questioned again by the police, Spencer just spent her days at home, because the only reason she had to get up in the morning had been torn out of her life like a loose thread from an old sweater. She knew she wouldn't wake up and see his gorgreous face, and to her, that was a good enough excuse to stay home.

Throughout this whole mess, Spencer was happy that her mother stood by her, because there was no way she could have gone through a heartbreak without her mother on her side. Having her mother support her no matter the situation was still a little unfamiliar to her, but not in a bad way. In fact, she was glad for it. All she had ever wanted was to know her parents cared about her and believed her. All she wanted was to know they still loved their little girl.

When two entire days had come and gone, Spencer awoke the next morning with this pain in her heart. It felt as though someone had taken a dagger and gone straight through the most delicate part of her body. No matter how hard Spencer willed herself to get up and get ready for school, her bed was the only place she felt safe without Toby around to protect her. There was nowhere else she could go where she wouldn't feel scared and vulnerable, plus there was no where she wanted to be if Toby couldn't be with her. She just wanted him to show up under the covers with her and promise that he would never let anything come between them.

Her moment of self pity was interrupted, and thankfully so. "Spencer?" her mother asked knocking on her door, before opening it and stepping into the dark bedroom. "Spencer, honey, are you okay?" Rubbing her eyes, she nodded and said "I just don't feel very well. I have a headache and my stomach is a bit uneasy." Her mother rushed to her side genuinely concerned about her daughter. "You do have a slight fever. Are you okay to stay home by yourself today?" Spencer nodded as her mother kissed the top of her head, turned around and sauntered out of the room. Spencer wasn't lying, she really did feel awful, just not the kind of awful that required a nurse to be at her side. As soon as she heard her mother's car pulling out of the driveway, Spencer closed her eyes and pushed back the tears that had formed in her eyes.

A wave of loneliness hit her hard, causing Spencer to curl up into a ball of anguish and despair. She was determined to not let the depression take over her body. The undeniable pain she felt in her chest was certainly worrisome, and Spencer wondered how people could have gone on with their lives while feeling like this. Amidst her thinking about how heartache actually resembled an illness, her phone buzzed on the corner of her night table.

Terrified of what –A might have to say about her grievance over Toby, Spencer reluctantly reached for her phone, relieved when she saw that it was just from Aria. "Spence, where have you been these past 2 days? Are you okay? I'm coming over to drop off your homework before school today alright?" As much as it made her happy to know that her friends cared about her, Spencer wasn't really in the mood to see anyone. She wasn't even in the mood to see herself, but she knew better than to let a decison she would later regret take hold of her life. She was Spencer Hastings! The girl born to push herself further than she needed to go when times got tough.

She tried placing her phone back down gently on the night table,but her shaking hand made the simple task immensely challenging. Spencer stood up and slowly walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Her legs were weak, all of her muscles and ligaments were sore, and her eyes burned from all the tears she had shed. Without even making it to the bottom of the long staircase, there was a knock at the door.

Spencer opened it with hesitation, only to see Aria standing there with a pile of books in her hands. "Spence! Where have you been?" Aria asked stepping inside the house of Hastings and placing the books on the table in the living room.

Spencer didn't speak, but instead wrapped her tired arms around her slender body as the tears welled up in her eyes. Aria turned around, looking her best friend directly in the eye. She looked so internally destroyed, that Aria was overcome with sorrow. Stepping closer and placing her arm on Spencer's shoulder, Aria's eyes bore into her sould and asked warily, "Spencer…what's wrong?"