Understanding "It"
What if, one night, Luke and Lorelai finally gave in to the big it? What would happen next?
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show I borrowed them from -- please don't sue.
Slowly, he opened his eyes. He was still sleepy, but not as satisfied as he knew he should've felt. Last night was "it." It was his dream; everything he thought he wanted. He might've been crazy to think the same of her, but by the way she warmly welcomed every little moment and touch between them during "it," he could've sworn that his "it" was hers too. Hell, it was the first and only time he'd ever experienced her speechless. The only problem was, she was still speechless. And staring outside of her dark window, instead of warmly welcoming his early morning embrace.
Slowly, he rose from her bed and made his way to the window. He stood behind her, wanting to be fearful, but his weariness was instilling him with some sort of ironic courage. That was it. He was tired. Not just from being gloriously kept up late the night before and being cruelly stirred awake early this morning, but from all of it. The denial, the fear, the so-called consequences. Just when he thought they'd gotten past all those hurdles and just let it happen, she was throwing everything back in their path. Just by staying silent. Oh, and running away like she always did. However, he had to grudgingly admit she was still standing there. But this was her house. Damn metaphors.
But before he could continue to internally rant the courage out of himself like he always did, she spoke. Bluntly, like she always did.
"Do you think we'll ever get married?"
Surprised but still hurt, he treaded with caution. "To each other?"
"Yeah."
He nudged caution a little to the side and allowed a small smile, imagining it. "Maybe."
As if sensing his smile, she finally turned around and graced him with her own. "Good." But just as quickly as it came, it faded. "Scary."
He sighed, hating to understand, but he did - all too well. "I know."
"I don't want to lose you… it." She was moving her hands in that desperate, frantic way she did when she thought people didn't understand.
But dammit, he wasn't one of those people. He was him. And he did. "Who says you will?"
His sharp tone seemed to have cut through some of her thick fear. "Yeah." But not all of it. "What if I hurt you?" She was doing the frantic hands thing again.
"It happens."
She stilled her hands and looked him directly in the eye. Her tone became as sharp as his had been. "No. Not to you." He offered her another cautious smile and reached for one of her quieted hands. But just as he took it, it began to tremble. "What if you hurt me?"
Her frail, vulnerable words felt like an electrocution, and he dropped her hand before sighing again in frustration. "This isn't fair."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"You can't keep doing this to me."
Predictably, she jumped on the defensive. "I know! Don't you understand?"
Tired of that dance, he cut her off with another sharp yet desperate plea. "I do."
They stared intensely at each other for a moment, again wishing that neither of them understood "it" as well as they did. Maybe if they didn't, "it" would be a hell of a lot easier to figure out. And everything else would be easier to risk.
Finally, he sighed again, this time in acceptance. "But I'll wait."
Her face lit up. Damn that smile. "Really?"
"Not forever." Acceptance wasn't the same as resignation, after all.
"No, of course not." Her earnest, grateful eyes made him believe that promise.
"Good." He allowed another smile to revive his weariness. He reached for her hands again. They didn't tremble this time.
She stared down at their hands with a sort of unreadable look on her normally expressive face. It seemed like she was struggling with the desire to profess something to him - something potentially life-altering - but she wasn't ready. Not yet. And he understood.
Raising her head, she gazed at him with a familiar mixture of gratitude, awe and that unspoken emotion. It was the same look she gave him when she was Mimi. "Thank you."
Like he did that night, he gave her a friendly grunt in response. But this morning, he transformed it with a tender kiss and embrace, which she warmly welcomed. Still captured in their embrace, they continued staring outside her window, watching the sunrise, together.
"It" didn't quite satisfy him yet. Not by a long shot. But it would someday soon.
My first complete GG fic… hope you liked it! Here's hoping a java junkie morning after will take place on the show someday soon, too.
What if, one night, Luke and Lorelai finally gave in to the big it? What would happen next?
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show I borrowed them from -- please don't sue.
Slowly, he opened his eyes. He was still sleepy, but not as satisfied as he knew he should've felt. Last night was "it." It was his dream; everything he thought he wanted. He might've been crazy to think the same of her, but by the way she warmly welcomed every little moment and touch between them during "it," he could've sworn that his "it" was hers too. Hell, it was the first and only time he'd ever experienced her speechless. The only problem was, she was still speechless. And staring outside of her dark window, instead of warmly welcoming his early morning embrace.
Slowly, he rose from her bed and made his way to the window. He stood behind her, wanting to be fearful, but his weariness was instilling him with some sort of ironic courage. That was it. He was tired. Not just from being gloriously kept up late the night before and being cruelly stirred awake early this morning, but from all of it. The denial, the fear, the so-called consequences. Just when he thought they'd gotten past all those hurdles and just let it happen, she was throwing everything back in their path. Just by staying silent. Oh, and running away like she always did. However, he had to grudgingly admit she was still standing there. But this was her house. Damn metaphors.
But before he could continue to internally rant the courage out of himself like he always did, she spoke. Bluntly, like she always did.
"Do you think we'll ever get married?"
Surprised but still hurt, he treaded with caution. "To each other?"
"Yeah."
He nudged caution a little to the side and allowed a small smile, imagining it. "Maybe."
As if sensing his smile, she finally turned around and graced him with her own. "Good." But just as quickly as it came, it faded. "Scary."
He sighed, hating to understand, but he did - all too well. "I know."
"I don't want to lose you… it." She was moving her hands in that desperate, frantic way she did when she thought people didn't understand.
But dammit, he wasn't one of those people. He was him. And he did. "Who says you will?"
His sharp tone seemed to have cut through some of her thick fear. "Yeah." But not all of it. "What if I hurt you?" She was doing the frantic hands thing again.
"It happens."
She stilled her hands and looked him directly in the eye. Her tone became as sharp as his had been. "No. Not to you." He offered her another cautious smile and reached for one of her quieted hands. But just as he took it, it began to tremble. "What if you hurt me?"
Her frail, vulnerable words felt like an electrocution, and he dropped her hand before sighing again in frustration. "This isn't fair."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"You can't keep doing this to me."
Predictably, she jumped on the defensive. "I know! Don't you understand?"
Tired of that dance, he cut her off with another sharp yet desperate plea. "I do."
They stared intensely at each other for a moment, again wishing that neither of them understood "it" as well as they did. Maybe if they didn't, "it" would be a hell of a lot easier to figure out. And everything else would be easier to risk.
Finally, he sighed again, this time in acceptance. "But I'll wait."
Her face lit up. Damn that smile. "Really?"
"Not forever." Acceptance wasn't the same as resignation, after all.
"No, of course not." Her earnest, grateful eyes made him believe that promise.
"Good." He allowed another smile to revive his weariness. He reached for her hands again. They didn't tremble this time.
She stared down at their hands with a sort of unreadable look on her normally expressive face. It seemed like she was struggling with the desire to profess something to him - something potentially life-altering - but she wasn't ready. Not yet. And he understood.
Raising her head, she gazed at him with a familiar mixture of gratitude, awe and that unspoken emotion. It was the same look she gave him when she was Mimi. "Thank you."
Like he did that night, he gave her a friendly grunt in response. But this morning, he transformed it with a tender kiss and embrace, which she warmly welcomed. Still captured in their embrace, they continued staring outside her window, watching the sunrise, together.
"It" didn't quite satisfy him yet. Not by a long shot. But it would someday soon.
My first complete GG fic… hope you liked it! Here's hoping a java junkie morning after will take place on the show someday soon, too.