Author: Nettie
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own em'. Just like to play with them every so often.
Time line: Immediately following Bloodlines
This is my first CSI fanfic so any feedback would be great.
Special THANKS to my beta - Alison
Answers in the Night
"Come on, I'll take you home." His soft and gentle words almost caused her to break down right there. Sara's head dropped down and she let out the breath she had been holding since she heard his voice in the hall. "Sara, honey, look at me please." Sara's reply, so soft and tender almost went unheard, almost. "I can't." she said. He slid to the edge of the chair, never letting go of her hand. His right hand tipped her chin and forced her to look at him. Tender blue eyes met scared brown eyes, and one lonely tear escaped and rolled down Sara's cheek. Grissom used his thumb to gently wipe away her sadness. "Come on, let's go home." Home. How she wished they were going to 'their home'. 'Well, Sidle, you just about smashed all hopes of that happening.' She couldn't help but think how disappointed he must be right now. Sara thought for sure he would let go of her hand the second they left the waiting area, but he surprised her with his tenderness. As they walked through the station Grissom never let go of her hand.
They walked toward his Tahoe and he opened up the passenger door for her. He helped her get in the truck and slowly walked around to the other side. Never once did he take his eyes off her. How she could get lost in his eyes, lost in the mystery that was Grissom. How she wished he would just let her in once. Tonight though, his eyes were so full of love and compassion. It was confusing and it scared her more than she would ever admit. 'Who am I to judge his mysterious ways. I haven't exactly been open and honest myself. Oh Gris, how did we get here.' The start of the engine disrupted her thoughts and soon they were heading out of the parking lot onto the main highway. She still didn't know where they were going. She wondered if Grissom knew were they were going. Sara wanted to ask him, but didn't trust her voice just yet. Her eyes were full with unshed tears and she really wanted to be alone when they fell.
"Sara, how much did you have to drink tonight?" Sara looked at him with hurt in her eyes and mumbled something incoherently. "I'm not trying to pry Sara; I just wanted to know if you were feeling OK or if you were going to be sick? Either way it doesn't matter to me, but I just want to know what to expect tonight." His head turned to look at her and then back to the road. He kept doing this until she answered him. "You don't have to take care of me. I'm a big girl a grown woman actually, in case you hadn't noticed." "Sara, first of all, I know you can take care of yourself, but lately I would have to argue with that." Sara's voice was starting to rise with anger. "I only had 2 beers, Gris. Honest. I guess I didn't realize that I hadn't eaten all day. I'm sorry to disappoint you." Grissom let out a long sigh and pulled the truck into the park they had just come upon. He knew this was going to be a long night and now was not the time to get her mad and closed off.
Grissom pulled up next to the swings and turned off the truck. He shifted in his seat to get a better look at Sara. He saw a scared woman who was trying so hard to hold back and fight with everything she had. "Sara, I do believe you, and you could never disappoint me. I'm just really concerned for you right now. Let me take care of you tonight. Let me be the friend that I haven't been for so long. I want to be your friend more than anything right now, and secondly, I always notice that you are a beautiful grown woman. Any man would have to be blind to see you as anything but that." Sara turned her head from the passenger's side window to look at Grissom. She needed to look into those eyes again. She needed to see if what he was saying was true. She didn't realize that her face was full of tears. The tears just kept coming and there was no stopping them now. Upon seeing her face Grissom's head sunk into his chest. He knew he was to blame for a lot of her sadness. How he wished he could go back in time and change things.
Grissom's silence was doing more damage than good. Sara took it to mean that he was crawling into his cave again. She couldn't deal with that right now. Either he's going to be here for me or he's got to let me go, let me get on with my life. She couldn't take it anymore and unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of the truck. Grissom looked at her in disbelief. Where did she think she was going? He looked up and realized he needed to do something before he lost her for good.
Grissom exited the truck and went after her. "Sara, wait up. Where are you going?" He caught up to her and grasped her arm to turn her towards him. "Leave me alone Gris. If you can't talk to me than you can't help me." She tried to get out of his grip but he surprised her and pulled her to him. "I do want to talk to you. I just panicked back there when I saw you crying like that." He was caressing her hair as he held her close. She started crying again, harder this time. He hated seeing her like this. Worse was that he knew he had caused it. He tried to calm her down but his voice was trembling. "Shh… It's going to be okay, honey. We're going to be okay." He continued to hold her and rock her in his arms. It felt so right holding her like this. She fit into his arms perfectly. It was as if they were made for each other. Sara felt it too. She couldn't believe how comforting his arms were. She thought it would feel odd and forced, but it felt incredible. He was trying to comfort her and soothe her, and it was working. Sara pulled her head back and looked into Grissom's eyes. She was shocked at what she saw. Grissom's eyes were shedding tear after tear for her. He couldn't make them stop. Sara reached up and gently wiped away his tears. "Gris, you're crying. I don't think I've ever seen you cry." He looked at her and gave a half grin.
Grissom lead her over towards the jungle gym and they sat down on one of the platforms. Sara sat sideways while Grissom sat facing forward, turning slightly towards her. She leaned back and had her knees bent up. Grissom thought about how perfect she looked right then. He leaned over and placed his hands on her knees. "Sara, I know I haven't been completely honest with you lately. I apologize for that. I really thought I was doing what was best." Sara's head shot up. "Best for who? You? Me? Or was it the lab you were protecting?" Grissom knew this wasn't going to be easy. "Maybe all three. I thought that by distancing myself from you I would stop thinking about you constantly. You have an incredible knack for invading my thoughts and dreams Sara." She just sat there in shock and waited with bated breath as he continued. "I also thought that you would get over your 'crush' on me and find someone else who was more suited for you." Sara placed her hands on top of his and slowly caressed them. "Gris, nobody is more suited for me than you." He looked up at her and nodded. "I realized that a little too late, which brings me to the lab. Any decision I made regarding you and work was a biased one. I was so afraid that if I showed you any positive encouragement it would be seen as something else. That's the real reason I gave Nicky the recommendation. I know it was wrong but I couldn't think of any other way around it. I'm truly sorry for that Sara. You deserved the promotion so much more than Nick. I didn't want everyone else to see through me and see my true feelings for you when I wasn't even sure what they were."
Sara couldn't believe what she was hearing. She looked up with tears in her eyes and asked the most important question of the night. "What are your true feelings for me?" He should have expected this. He looked at her and he knew that he couldn't hold back anymore. "When my phone rang and they asked me if I knew a Sara Sidle, my heart…it stopped beating. I was so scared that you were hurt or worse. I think I understood then what you meant to me. I've known for a long time, I just couldn't face it." He stopped talking and scooted closer to her. He draped her legs over his lap and took her face in his hands. He needed to see the acceptance in her eyes. "Sara, I love you with all my heart. I'm sorry it took this to make me see it. I don't care what people think anymore. I only care about what you think." Sara was speechless. For once in her life someone rendered her speechless. Grissom loved her and he told her. She didn't have to hear it through a glass window, he actually told her. She could only think of one thing to say. "Gris, I love you too. I never thought I would get to say that." Tears were streaming down both of their faces now and neither cared.
Grissom leaned closer to her and gently touched his lips to hers. It was a mere brushing of lips but it had enough sparks to light up the dark desert sky. They pulled back and looked into each other's eyes. Grissom leaned in again and pressed his lips to hers with a little bit more pressure than before. He couldn't believe how good her lips felt, so soft and so tender. Sara began to respond to the kiss and moved her lips with his. Sara opened her mouth to him as he slowly entangled his tongue with hers. Soft moans were heard from both sides of the kiss. Grissom's heart swelled in his chest as her moans reached his ears. Kissing Sara had been everything he imagined and more. Both sets of hands had begun to caress and stroke wherever they could reach. Grissom reluctantly pulled back and leaned his forehead against Sara's. Chests were heaving as they were both trying to control their breathing. Neither one could help but smile. "Wow. That was beyond incredible". Sara could only nod in agreement. "What do you say we get out of here and head home?" Sara wasn't sure where they were going to go but it didn't matter.
"Gris, I know we have a lot of talking to do. I want to talk to you about what's been going on with me lately. I just don't know if I can face my apartment just yet." Grissom was confused. "I don't understand. Why can't you go home?" Sara took a deep breath and took the first step in recovery. "My place is pretty messy. I've been drinking pretty heavily lately and I just can't face all the empty and half empty bottles that are scattered in my apartment. I know I have to face it eventually but I just don't think I can right now. Do you understand?" Grissom nodded. "Let's go to my place. We can get a little bit more comfortable and talk some more." Grissom hopped off the platform and turned to help Sara down. She swung around and drew him in between her legs. He couldn't think of a better place to be than right here. "Thank you for saving me tonight Gris." He gave her a quick peck on the lips and pulled her off the platform. "Come on. I'll take you home."
The End...that's up to you. Flattery will get you everywhere!