DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Stargate characters, ideas or themes. They all belong to MGM. I'm just playing with them a little.

Summary: "Somehow I had managed to trick myself into believing that that would be all there was. All that she would expect. All that I wanted. That we weren't on the verge of something I couldn't control. Couldn't handle."

Rating: T

Spoilers: I don't think so.

Pairings: Daniel/Vala

Author's Note: This is from Daniel's POV. Angsty Angstiness is promised, so steer clear if you're not big on the angst. This particular chapter functions more as a prologue than an actual chapter. We'll get to the really detailed good stuff soon.

Title: Broken Things

By: Every Me Every You

Chapter 1: Nightmares

It was the nightmares that started it.

I had managed years of keeping her at arms length, years before something seemed to break within her. P3X-492 broke her in a way I couldn't fix. I was sure it had to do with the Goa'uld technology we had found, the remains of the village we had discovered. The village had been decimated. And though she pretended she was fine as she always did, Vala couldn't hide the way her eyes widened, her lip trembled, her skin paled, her hands shook at the sight of this village. Not from me.

She had been skittish before we had gone there. She thought she recognized the planet's location on the star chart, thought she knew it from somewhere, complained that we should find out the true names of planets, not just our silly code of letters and numbers. Still, I don't believe she had placed her feeling of dread until she came upon that village.

I believe her terror is linked to memories of Quetesh. She will never tell me. It matters less and less why. After a month of this, all that matters is the fact of them.

The nightmares.

They twist her, pull her, beat her, tear her inside out. They burn her.

The first time I wasn't there. She screamed loud enough to bring a dozen SFs to her door to protect her, expecting an armed intruder and finding nothing but ghosts of the past circling a woman who didn't have it in her to fight them anymore.

That's when the visits to Dr. Hutchinson began. The visits did little more than keep the demons at bay. For the first time since the village, she could smile and flirt during the day and it was a welcome change. My heart warmed when she smiled and teased me, and I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. But when she made it back to her quarters the dark would haunt her and sleep would either elude her or conquer her completely, leaving her to stare at the shadows on the walls or batter them, fighting off those demons she feared were returning to her.

I can't say I didn't know what I was doing. I knew. But I thought, maybe, I could help. There was a thought niggling at the back of my mind, that I owed this to the universe. I owed this to somebody. Because I had never had the chance to help Sha're through this very same kind of pain.

My mood has been just as dark lately as Vala's, the reminder bringing things long buried back to life. Still, I wouldn't be caught dead at Dr. Hutchinson's if I could avoid it.

Not for the first time, the similarities between the women in my life disturbed me.

Still, it was no mistake that I was camped out in my quarters across the hall for the entire second week of nightmares. It was no mistake that I had burst into her room night after night as she screamed, had taken the shots of her lashing arms and legs, had pulled her into my arms and held her, whispered words of comfort and solace to her and held her until she fell asleep again.

It was a mistake, however, that I fell asleep there with her.

That first night, waking up was awkward, like the classic 'morning after I slept with a big mistake' conundrum. We talked, but it was stilted and strange, and I knew that Vala had allowed me into a place that she hadn't intended for me to go. And I couldn't really admit to myself that when I was comforting her, when I was trying not to let her sobs tear a hole into my soul, I had done the same. Eventually, we had continued on with our days, continued on with our everyday lives.

That evening the next nightmare came.

That evening I wound up sleeping with her in my arms again.

And the next day. And the next.

There was never anything more than sleep. Never anything more than her, asleep on my chest, her arms wrapped around my waist, her face tucked into the space where my neck met my shoulder, her warm breath tickling me there. Never anything more than my hands skimming her back, my legs trapping hers, the vanilla scent of her hair filling my nostrils and wrecking my senses.

Three weeks of that. And somehow I had managed to trick myself into believing that that would be all there was. All that she would expect. All that I wanted. That we weren't on the verge of something I couldn't control. Couldn't handle.

Now, I could very clearly see the truth. I was more wrong than I could possibly understand.

A/N: More to come very soon...this is a 5 chapter one. :)