This is the first fanfiction I've ever written (sorry for being an amateur), hope you like it! XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, just so you know…

Bam! The whole Akatsuki fortress shook and bits of rock fell from the ceiling. The Akatsuki met at the entrance, where the sound had generated. Deidara arrived last and his shock was written all over his face.

The five seal entrance was broken, letting sunlight stream into the dim fortress. Pieces of rock were everywhere, large and small chunks alike. In all the chaos the other Akatsuki members had formed a circle and in the center of that circle stood a little blonde girl.

The girl's hair was tied into two curly blonde pigtails and she stood at roughly five feet tall. Her blue eyes met Deidara's and she smiled. Deidara didn't smile back.

"What's going on, huh?"Deidara asked, taking his place in the circle.

"This little brat broke into our fortress!" Hidan spat.

"Alone?" inquired Deidara, surprised.

"Obviously not! We're just trying to get the fucking brat to tell us who helped her get in!" snorted Hidan.

The girl spoke up, "Is this everybody?"

"What do you fucking mean 'everybody'?" Hidan growled impatiently.

"I mean all of the Akatsuki." The girl calmly shot back.

"Itachi and Kisame are out on a mission right now but-" Tobi began.

Hidan cut Tobi off, "Shut-up, you fucking idiot!"

"Alright, then," said the girl, smiling, "I'd like to join the Akatsuki."

Hidan laughed, "You can't be fucking serious! You're like, what? Twelve?"

"Fourteen, dumbass." She retorted.

Before Hidan could say or do anything else, Pein stepped in, "I'd like to speak to the girl in private."

"You can't be fucking serious; you're actually considering this brat!" Hidan yelled.

Pein walked past Hidan, leading the girl to another room. As the blonde passed Hidan she stuck her tongue out at him, knowing he couldn't do a thing. Hidan was ready to explode with anger.

"So, who wants to make bets on whether or not Pein going to let the brat live," Hidan snorted, "I'd have to bet that he's going to come back without the brat."

No one replied.

"No, he wouldn't be that inconsiderate, he'd give the brat's body to Zetsu for a snack!" Hidan howled with laughter.

No one else laughed.

"C'mon guys, you're leaving me fucking hanging here!"

The Akatsuki members all looked at one another.

"Hidan, did you not see her chakra?" Kakuzu asked.

"I'm not a fucking sensor type, Kakuzu! Now tell me what the fuck is going on!" Hidan exploded.

No one had the chance to reply; Pein returned- with the girl.

"Everyone, this is Kumiko, she is the newest edition to the Akatsuki. Kumiko will be Deidara's partner," Pein stated, "Any complaints?"

All the Akatsuki looked at Hidan.

"Why are you all looking at me," Hidan asked annoyed, "Oh, I see you expect me to be the first one to complain! Well, I got nothing to say. If Pein-sama says she's good, then she must be one fucking good brat, or a master of genjutsu!"

The Akatsuki dispersed, most of them heading to the kitchen. Kumiko followed close behind. When they got to the kitchen, Kumiko just stood by the door. Konan soon went over to talk to her, the girl lit up after talking to Konan. She ran over to Hidan.

"You're Hidan, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, but what's it to you, brat?" Hidan grumbled.

Kumiko smiled, "Don't call me brat."

"I'll call you brat if I fucking want to," Hidan raged, "Brat, brat, brat-"

Kumiko punched Hidan in the face, forcing him on the ground.

"Call me brat again," Kumiko smiled menacingly, standing over the surprised Joshin worshipper, "And next time it'll be your balls."

"What the fuck…" Hidan growled, standing up.

"Hey, Hidan, may I call you Hi-chan?" asked Kumiko.

"You can call me whatever the fuck you want."

"Yay! Thank-you Hi-chan!" Kumiko jumped onto Hidan's back, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him.

"What the fuck are you doing! Go bother someone else!"

"Am I bothering you, Hi-chan?" Kumiko whispered threateningly.

"Kumiko, why don't you go talk to Deidara," Konan suggested, "He's just down the hall."

"Okay, Konan!" Kumiko jumped off Hidan's back and skipped down the hallway.

"What the fuck did you tell her, Konan? She went from quiet to supper brat mode!" Hidan asked.

"I told her to be herself."

So there it is! As you probably know from my pen name, Kumiko is my self-insert character and she is obviously not from Naruto.