So this was inspired by my own frustrations with Light taking over L's position, and having the feeling that at least one task force member was bothered by it. Once I decided that Aizawa seemed to be a good contender, this little ficlet was born.
Surely I wasn't the only one disturbed whenever the task force would call Light by "L", right?
I don't own Death Note, cherubs.
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You're not L.
I don't even know who you are anymore. When you first came here, your abilities of deducting and reasoning and appearing as though you knew what the hell you were doing actually made me admire you.
But you're just not L.
We came so far with L…so very far, and for awhile, I felt as though we were so close to bringing this bastard Kira to justice the way he deserved. The taste of success was just out of our reach…but we continued pushing, dammit. We kept pushing even when Ukita collapsed in front of Sakura TV, or when the Death Note fell into the hands of Yotsuba. Because we had too…justice could not afford any letdowns, any hesitations or doubts.
We continued pushing when L died…but it just wasn't the same.
And now what?
What frustrates me the most is that you were the only one who could attempt to take on the role as L…who else would have done it? Me? Mogi? That idiot, Matsuda?
You were the only one. But to this day, I can't look you in the eye and not be reminded that you're playing a role, using an alias, pretending to be someone that you're not. L.
I play along, I'll admit it. Praising you for your hard work comes out of the grit of my teeth, but I do it anyway because I'm fucking obligated to do so. Your our "leader", our "mastermind"…
But you will never be L.
You're Light fucking Yagami.
While it would be a lie to say that I do not find you impressive at times…I will never be able to call you L without clenching my fists behind my back.
When he offered you to succeed his position before his death, I wish I knew exactly what you were thinking. Boy, did you nail L's thoughts down…it had always disturbed me how much you two thought alike. It was almost as if you could predict each and every one of L's movements, thoughts, words…
But does that make you a living embodiment of him? Of the man that drove me up the wall with his arrogance and quick wit and the stupid way he sat?
No! No, no, no!
You're not L, goddammit! Light! You're Light! You're the son of Soichiro Yagami; you're the man who had once been suspected of being Kira, the man who had to have surveillance cameras strewn all around his room those few years ago; one of L's plans that had made me nearly burst a blood vessel.
Sometimes…I still wonder why L suspected you so much. He was a genius, and an unbearable one at times, but he was L.
And he's dead.
L is not the man who Near himself called incompetent. L is not the man who encouraged his own father to make the trade for the Shinigami eyes.
No, Light. That was you.
You.
When the day comes that we capture Kira and put him to death, then just maybe I'll be able to look at you and not wish to pull my hair out. But until then…
You're just not L.
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Please review on your way out, feedback is my brain food!
Until next time.
phollie.