"Maybe it's better this way," he said softly, turning away, and finally, treading his way through the falling snow, dark hair swishing past his nape, fading into the night where the dim light of the last lamp post on the street could not reach. I couldn't even remember his expression.
I should have run after him, held him back, never let go. I should have called after him, begged, go down on my knees. I should have… could have. But it was too late. That was the last time I saw him.
I remember it was summer, the scorching sun beating down onto the pavements at the park, my boots heating up like an oven, me perspiring like there was no tomorrow. My dog and I, we were playing in the park. He always cheered me up, always so happy, so… carefree. Then, I met him. His dark brown eyes stared angrily into mine. Sorry! I blurted, picking him off the ground. He looked so dainty and fragile, a flower almost. I bowed my head and walked past, embarrassed a little as my pet led me forth back to home.
Fast forward a few months, it was my first date with you. I remember your pink cheeks, little clouds puffing out of your mouth as you ran up to me on the street, apologising for the fact that you were late. It didn't matter, I didn't mind. I was so happy that you were here with me. So happy that we met, although our first meeting was a little awkward. I love you, I whispered, as I left you on your front porch, after kissing your forehead. So much, I nearly added.
The first time you told me you loved me was the next summer, almost near the day I bumped into you. You looked down at your feet, feeling really shy I guess, as you mumbled those three words. When you looked back at me with your beautiful eyes, you were smiling. I smiled back and hugged you. That was one of the reasons why I loved you, so gentle, so adorable. Did you know I never stopped thinking about you? So much, so much, I was going mad. You still love me don't you? You still miss me don't you? I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I thought we had it all. That you were happy. That we were forever. I thought that you loved me as much as I did you. It had been a long time since I loved, that I almost forgotten. It had also been a long time since I cried, but I would never forget how to. No, no, NO! Everybody keeps leaving me. I would've given anything for love, but is there any love left for me?
As I stood there shaking, with anger, sadness, fear of what was next, the cold air was biting and I hated that feeling that wasn't there when I was with you. Loneliness. Betrayal. Disappointment. Shock. These feelings rushed through me, chilling me to the core and burned me up at the same time. Then I thought maybe I should just go. Maybe I should just go home. I had come a full circle.
As I turned away from the dim streetlight, tears streamed down my cheeks. That was the last time I saw him.
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