A/n: yea yea yea i know i already posted this songfic...BUT its an entire new story with a bunch of oneshots...it's easier for me..so enjoy!!!
Haunted
Haunted- Kelly Clarkson
Bella's POV
Louder, louder
The voices in my head
Whispers, taunting all the things you said
'Bella I don't want you to come with me'
'You…don't…want me?'
'No.'
The dreadful conversation in the woods that day kept replaying in my head as I laid in bed. It's not really that I couldn't help the fact that I kept thinking about it or anything; it was just my subconscious replaying the one horrible memory. I've dreamt about it everyday since he left. Even one night I'd noticed I woke up screaming.
Faster the days go by
and I'm still stuck
in this moment of wanting you near
I can't help but ask myself over and over again, 'what did I do wrong? Why am I being punished? What did I do to deserve this?' finally I couldn't take anymore of the pain so I decided that I would get some fresh air. I quietly tried to tiptoe by Charlie, but being Bella I tripped on the rug. 'So much for that brilliant plan.' I thought. "Going anywhere Bells?" Charlie asked as he helped me up. "Yea, just out by the woods I won't be too far." I replied. "Be careful" Charlie warned. "Don't worry I will." I said as I walked out the door to the muggy air outside. I went into the woods and I walked and then I collapsed. Ironically it was where Same Uley found me so many months ago.
Time, in the blink of an eye,
You held my hand,
You held me tight
Memories of him flooded my mind. From that fateful day in biology, where we first met, to the first time he took me to the meadow. And the time I was in the hospital in Phoenix when James attacked me, to even Prom! All the memories filled my head all the way up to my 18th birthday. I shuddered as I recalled of what had happened that night, I never wanted to think about that again. Then, as if I had called on it, my most painful memory came to me, the day in the woods; the day he left.
Now you're gone And I'm still crying
Shocked, broken,
I'm dying inside
That one little stupid memory reopened the wound in my chest that I had worked so hard to close. At that point I cried out as loud as I could, which wasn't very loud since I was breath taken at the amount of pain it brought I said "What did I do wrong?" After I broke down.
Where are you?
I need you.
Don't leave me here on my own.
Speak to me,
Be near me.
I can't survive unless I know
You're with me.
Then once again, my mind wandered back to HIM. How he must be doing a lot better with his 'distractions' as he put it. No, I told myself I will not think of him. I closed my eyes and there he was same pale skin, topaz eyes, and same bronze colored hair. I remembered how he smelled, and how he felt when he would touch me or kiss me. At that point and time, the hole grew even wider.
Shadows linger
Only to my eye
I see you I feel you
Don't leave my side
I flashed back to the conversation we had in the hospital in Phoenix.
"Stay."
"I will, like I said, as long as it makes you happy…. as long as it's what's good for you."
Oh, how much pain that memory brought back! I absentmindedly stroked my crescent scar, remembering that day.
It's not fair just when
I found my world they took you,
They broke you they tore out
Your heart
Then I remembered my 18th birthday party at his house, Alice going all crazy with decorations, then when it was time for the presents I accidentally got a paper cut, then I remembered Jasper launching himself at me, then Edward- it hurts so bad to even think of his name. So instead I tried to think of another thing.
I miss you, you hurt me
You left with a smile.
Mistaken your sadness
Was hiding inside
Again, I thought of the day he left me. Which felt as if it were yesterday, even though it was months ago. Why couldn't I stop? I thought to myself. It's as if my mind enjoys hurting itself on purpose just to see HIM again or even hear him. I knew he was serious when he said that he was leaving me. I mean I knew it was coming and all but not this soon! I knew someone like ME could never deserve someone like HIM, so caring and kind.
Now all that's left
Of the pieces to find
The mystery you kept
The soul behind a guise
I can't believe he thought it was for the best, for my benefit! If only he knew what it really did to me. He left me in pieces now. Not that he would care or anything because as he said he didn't love me anymore. So seriously as much as it hurt to realize it, what happened to me didn't bother him, it wasn't important to him anymore. He probably found someone else or doing something new and forgot about me.
Where did you go?
All these questions
run through my mind
"Why? Why?" I thought. Why did this happen to me? Maybe he got so tired of protecting me from everything that happened to me, all those near death experiences. "Why did he leave? Why did you go? What did I do wrong? Edward! Why did you go? Why did you leave me like this? You promised! You promised you'd stay with me as long as it made me happy! Edward! I yelled as loud as I could.
I wish I couldn't feel at all.
Let me be numb
I'm starting To fall…
I broke down more than I had before. I had crossed that boundary line I was so careful in setting up. I couldn't help it though, I had let myself think of him and his family and now I was going to pay for it. I was waiting for my relief to come and about 10 or 20 minutes later numbness came over me. I gladly welcomed it, for with this numbness it wouldn't hurt so badly, for now. So it couldn't hurt when I thought of them, at least not right this moment.
Where are you?
I need you.
Don't leave me here on my own.
Speak to me,
Be near me.
I can't survive unless I know
You're with me.
"Edward…" I croaked as I closed my eyes and saw his face smiling down at me, which felt from so long ago. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I did that, I was probably hoping that this was all a dream and I was going to wake up any moment to see him there next to me, never being gone from my side. Then I finally blacked out…
You were smiling
You… were smiling
You…were…smiling…
Hope it wasn't too bad. it was from last year so yea... ^-^
you know you love me,
x.o.x.o.
VampireGrl a.k.a. Azrael