For all those who have not figured it out already, I do not own Tsubasa. Or Fruit Loops. Or any other product mentioned in this story. I only wish I did.
One day, I was bored, so I looked for funny Xing/Kyle/Fei-Wang fanfictions, and I couldn't find very many. So I decided to make some and make the world a better place! Yeah! *fist pump* Hope you like it! The stars mean author's notes at the end.
The door slammed as Xing came in.
"Finally decided to return to us, eh?" Fei-Wang growled. That was the last time he sent her grocery shopping. How long had she been gone?
Xing set down her bags, and began heading towards her room with a weird box in hand.
"Did you get my chocolate?" Kyle quickly started rummaging through the shopping bags. "Ooh! Found it!"
"Gimme that!" Fei-Wang grabbed the newly unwrapped chocolate bar from Kyle and began eating it. "Go see what she's doing."
Kyle just stood there, looking sadly at the remains of his poor, poor chocolate bar.
"I SAID GO SEE WHAT SHE'S DOING!"
Kyle turned and slowly walked away, mumbling about how he never gets any chocolate.
"Uh... maybe you should come here and see this."
"See what?" Fei Wang hauled himself out of his chair and lumbered irritably after Kyle.
Kyle pointed at Xing, who was stroking a little black bundle of fur.
"Isn't she cute? Her name's Yumekui." (*)
"Get that... thing out of here. You know I'm a- a-" Fei-Wang doubled over with a huge sneeze, spraying Kyle with snot.
"Oh, but isn't she adorable? See, she likes you!"
Kyle took a moment to clean off his glasses. "I'll go get your allergy medication," He ran off, hoping he was lucky enough not to get sneezed on again.
"You cannot keep this thing!" Fei-Wang shook his foot violently as the little cat began to climb up his leg.
"Oh, but I'm just taking care of it for a few days! My friend is on vacation, and she asked me to take care of Yumekui. We can't get rid of her!" Xing whined as she pulled the kitten off of Fei-Wang's leg.
Fei-Wang groaned. How would he put up with this stupid fur ball for even an hour?
"Oh thank you! Thank you!"
"I NEVER SAID YOU COULD KEEP IT!"
~The next day~
Fei Wang woke up in a cold sweat. He dreamed he had been chased around by little black cats trying to cut him up and eat him. The little green pair of eyes staring back at him really didn't help the situation either.
"XING! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD KEEP THIS LITTLE MONSTER IN YOUR ROOM!"
"Huh?" Xing wandered in, blinking sleepily. "Oh. Must've wandered off again. Breakfast is on the table when you're ready." She picked up the kitten and wandered back out of the room.
Fei Wang lugged himself out of bed, donning his black bathrobe and bunny slippers. He waddled down the hall to find a plate of waffles with strawberry syrup on the table, just as Xing had said.
"I had a horrible night last night." He complained to Kyle, whose face was buried somewhere among the Fruit Loops.
"Tell me about it," Kyle moaned as he lifted his face out of his cereal bowl. He had dark circles under his eyes and his face was covered in scratches.
Fei-Wang gasped in astonishment. "What happened to you?"
"I guess it thought my face was a scratching post." Kyle flopped back down into his cereal again, splashing milk and Fruit Loops everywhere.
Fei-Wang made a mental note to lock his door the next time he goes to bed.
"So, how are you all this morning?" Xing sat down and dug into her chocolate chip pancakes, while little Yumekui jumped down from her perch on Xing's shoulder and began to lap up some of the milk Kyle had spilled.
"Horrible," Fei-Wang grumbled, "That stupid cat woke me up."
"It killed my face! See?" *splash*
"Oh, come on, Kyle! She was just being friendly"
Kyle snorted into his Fruit Loops, which didn't work very well, considering it caused milk to go up his nose.
"I want that cat gone!" Fei-Wang stomped his foot like a two-year-old throwing a temper tantrum.
"Oh, come on! She's only staying for a few days!"
Fei-Wang growled under his breath.
"OW!" Kyle jumped up quickly, knocking over his chair. The kitten acted as if Kyle had just kicked her. "It bit me!"
"Where?" Xing scooped up the little black bundle of fur lovingly, more annoyed with Kyle than worried about him.
"Right here," Kyle pulled at his ear, which was bleeding a little near the top. (**)
"Probably deserved it. Now you don't have to pay to get your ears pierced."
"Ha-ha, very funny," Kyle glared at Xing. "For your information, I don't want to get my ears pierced, thank you very much, unlike many of the other CLAMP characters."
Fei-Wang folded his arms, annoyed, "Just go put a bandage on it and stop arguing!"
Kyle scowled at Xing once more before scampering off to find a band-aid.
Xing scowled back before returning to her room with Yumekui.
Fei-Wang decided he better take his bubble bath now before that thing comes back out.
~later~
The day continued on as usual, Fei-Wang Reed happily watching his mirror/TV/whatever thing. Kyle was playing Runescape on his computer, now sporting a pink Littlest Pet Shop Band-Aid, ironically featuring a little black cat. And Xing was doing her nails. And the cat's.
"Isn't it pretty?" Xing exclaimed as soon as she was done. "We match!"
"Yeah, whoopdee-doo." Kyle muttered absently, busy fighting (and losing) against some random rat, as he was still only a level three. (***) Even though he's been playing for months. He was only a level three because of his fishing skills, which weren't very good either. :)
"HA HA!" Fei-Wang laughed loudly. Apparently his mirror/TV/whatever thing received Nickelodeon. When he's not watching Syaoran & Co., he's watching Sponge Bob.
Xing, annoyed that she was being ignored, decided the best way to get their attention was to put the cat on Kyle's head. So she did.
"KYAAH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Kyle jumped out of his chair screaming like a little girl and running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Or, more accurately, like a guy with a cat digging its claws into his head. His poor, doomed-to-failure Runescape character died at the hands of a not-so-menacing rat.
Yumekui, holding on to Kyle's head for dear life, decided she could get a better grip by placing her left hind paw on his nose. She decided against it after knocking off Kyle's glasses and jumped off, landing safely on the floor.
Kyle, now as blind as a bat without his glasses (****), ran straight into a door frame. (Don't cha hate it when that happens?)
Xing rushed over to Kyle, "Are you okay?"
Kyle was holding his nose, which was bleeding. He giggled dizzily like a psychotic fangirl before collapsing. (*****)
Fei-Wang went on laughing at his cartoons like nothing ever happened.
Upset that she was no longer at the center of attention, the little black kitten then decided to attack Fei-Wang's incredibly, erm... unique hairdo.
~later~
"Xing! XING!" Xing's friend entered the room, picking her way carefully through the destruction, "I'm here to pick up Yumekui!"
She cleared a path through the random scattered junk and toward the little cat. "There you are! Mommy missed you!" Yumekui purred happily that her owner was back. "Thanks for taking care of her! Next time, maybe you should clean up a bit before she comes." The girl called before leaving with her precious pet.
Xing moaned as she sat up. She was going to be in soooo much trouble when Fei-Wang and Kyle woke up. They were still out cold, but when they woke up... Xing shivered and decided she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.
She stood up and surveyed the disaster. Fei-Wang's special chair was torn to bits, stuffing still floating aimlessly around the room.
His mirror/TV/whatever thing had a huge crack down the middle. He wouldn't notice, right? Kyle's computer was missing chunks here and there, and was spouting black smoke from a large hole in the CD-ROM drive. Kyle himself was slightly more scratched up than before, and his nose was still bleeding, though just slightly. His glasses lay not too far from Xing's feet, still waiting to be claimed by their rightful owner. Fei-Wang's robes were in tatters, and he was missing quite a lot of his hair. He looked about ready to murder someone, even though he was still unconscious. Xing sat back down on the ground and sighed. Yep. She was dead.
So, did ya like it? Please tell me what you think!
Author's notes:
(*) Yumekui means nightmare in Japanese. Fitting, isn't it?
(**) Kyle got bitten right where people get their cartilage pierced.
(***) Whoever plays Runescape, like me, knows this: Rats are a level one and have, like, two HP. (At least, before they renovated the site.) Level one people have (had) ten HP. But Kyle isn't very good at video games, so he fails Runescape miserably. Actually, the entire month he spent on Runescape was really nothing but his character dying.
(****) LOL, get it? Just an assumption. After all, you never see him without them, except in book 27, when... yeah.
(*****) No offense to any fangirls out there. I'm a Kyle fangirl myself, actually. I was thinking of myself when I wrote that. :D To all of you who are not a fangirl and do not know any: I envy you.
Please read and review! Everybody who does gets virtual no-bake cookies! 3 (I LOVE those things!)