All characters belong not to me, but to the one and only Masashi Kishimoto: therefore do I disclaim (or else the Copyright Monster would get me. RAWR!). Warnings for ignoring plot and being utterly crack, but then again, if you're reading TobiIzu fanfiction, you probably realize how hard it is to not rewrite the plot with this ship.

Rated T for safeTy.

Tobirama PoV

Tobirama knows he does not like Izuna.

Tobirama does not even like Uchiha.

But Tobirama especially does not like Izuna. Not in that way. Nope. Nu-uh. Never.

Fine. Maybe he doesn't hate him as much as everyone else.

But that's not saying much. Tobirama is also definitely sure his brother is conspiring to make them get together. He remembers well the day they were introduced. Remembers Hashi-Aniki saying later, of a party, "But you have to go...Izuna'll be there!". Tobirama was not so happy about that. Tobirama was decidedly miffed. And disgruntled.

Tobirama also knows Hashi is in a relationship with Madara. Tobirama doesn't care. Except for the part where it gave him leverage. But now Hashi's out the closet, there's nothing for Tobirama to bribe him with to stop him from telling people Tobirama is gay. I'm not...I mean, Tobirama is not gay. Nope. Definitely not.

I close my diary notebook, reading the warning, written in a seven year old's handwriting, "SeCRET NOTEBOOK Do NOT oPEN ON pAIN OF DEATH AND WORSE." I carefully replace the sealing tags that now hold it shut. Aniki just couldn't take a hint.

Anyways, I am not in denial. I am not gay. And I do not like Uchiha. Especially Izuna. Nope.

That's great. Except for the part where I feel something-that-isn't-outright-dislike for Izuna. And I don't know what it is. Maybe I'll talk to Aniki.

Update: brother is not of any help. I asked him if he could help me with my problem–that I feel conflicted about Izuna–and he promptly offered to make sure we end up on a mission, or at a party, or somewhere together. Stupid idiot. He even did that little eyebrow-wiggling half-laugh. It's not funny, and definitely not constructive. Nope.

I took him up on his offer.

I mean, it's not as if I like Izuna or anything! And even if I did, where would that get me?

Tobirama doesn't dislike Izuna. Tobirama thinks he's nice, in a sort of quiet way. He doesn't talk too much, but he's not awkward. He's not unpleasant. That by itself would be fine. But what was Tobirama supposed to do when they ended up in a hot tub together? Tobirama couldn't stop looking at him, and Tobirama does not think that's a good thing. Because Tobirama is not gay...right?

Hashirama says there's some kind of anniversary of a "yay we haven't killed each other for a while" moment. I don't like events like that. At best, they bore me. But...Izuna's supposed to be there.

I told Aniki I would be in attendance.

I walk around the edges of the party, knowing I should never have come. I say walk, maybe "pace" or "stalk" is a better word. I don't do well with large crowds. And yes, thirty-five-ish people is a crowd. I would say I'm not looking for anyone in particular. Especially Izuna. But that would be a lie, because that's exactly what I'm doing. Hashi-Aniki promised he'd be here. Madara said so.

And...there he is. I walk over, trying to be casual. "So...hi...um...yeah. How's things?" I ask. Wow, Tobirama. Super smooth talker, you are. But at least he doesn't give me his "Are you serious?!" face, and instead turns and smiles. "Hey, Tobi! Great to see you...it's been a while. How about we grab some food and find a corner to hide in–I know you're not at home in a crowd."

I smile and nod, inwardly thanking Izuna's person-sense for preventing a really awkward situation. We load our plates with food, steering clear of some violently gesticulating relatives of somebody's relatives. Just because we're under truce doesn't stop arguments from arising between (supposedly formerly) feudal clans. I sit down on a couch, away from all the people, and realize I forgot chopsticks, but before I can rise, Izuna dashes over, flops dramatically beside me, hands me a pair of chopsticks, and begins to eat.

Half an hour later, I realize that I can barely lift myself off the couch. Pitiful. And I call myself a Senju…

I stifle a yawn. I'm just thinking I should get up, or run around, or get a drink, or something, when I feel Izuna's head bump against my shoulder. I freeze. Izuna is asleep. On me. Izuna. Is. Sleeping. On. Me. I should be freaking out, but

I'm so

tired.

My eyes close before I can think anything more.

When my eyes open, the first thing I think is "Why was I dreaming about Izuna?". The second, "Kami-sama, Izuna is sleeping on me". The third? "WHY ARE ANIKI AND MADARA WATCHING US?!"

Aniki laughs, and Madara looks slightly amused. My mind is scrambling. Hashirama makes the moment worse by leaning in and stage whispering "Did you kiss yet?". Which, of course, is when I realize that Izuna is also awake. My face is on fire, I can feel it. To my surprise, Izuna's is as well, but neither of us can muster the energy to move, and besides, Izuna's body is warm against mine: it's comfortable. I realize that I am still tired. "What time is it?", I moan. "1:00 a.m." Aniki and Madara say in unison. "We're heading home." "Although I have to say, I was sad to wake you guys up", Aniki adds. Maybe, I'd be more enraged if I was fully awake. I stumble outside in Aniki's wake after a few mumbled goodbyes, and Aniki lifts me onto his back before I can say anything. By the time everything that happened sinks into my head, I am in bed, at home, and drifting back to sleep.

Tobirama does not-not-like Izuna. Tobirama thinks he is maybe-sort-of cute. Tobirama likes Izuna. Tobirama would like to know him better. But Tobirama does not have a crush on Izuna. Nope. Never. Well, maybe.

A.N: Yay! Finally got around to uploading this! Sorry if my use of third-person-that-is-secretly-first-person bothers you.

Eventually, there will be more of these (yay for drabble collections!), but I have actual, real life things to deal with right now, and might take a while to update this. Special thanks to Emmabirdy for beta-reading this, and to Unshakespearean for being willing to read this even though she doesn't know anything about this fandom and only likes anime that start with Hetalia. Thanks for reading!

~IchiBen