Our relationship has always been an unconventional one. An acquaintance that stemmed from nothing more than the frustrations of our interactions. It was a convergence of two beings that flourished despite the increasing aggravation between; an irritation that was an unavoidable. The momentum of it, the budding contest of wills, was constantly forcing us in opposing directions. But it was the magnetism with the tension unseen, that clashed against the convention, pushing us, until ultimately, he decided to push back too.
And I was reluctant when he did. Because we didn't get along or even like each other for that matter. We were just two people who shared a nameless unfamiliarity with the other. And it was the suddenness of it, the divergence in our contrived routine, that took me completely by surprise.
x
"Could you just maybe not act that way for one second" I was irritated. His temperament egging on my aggravation. All I wanted was something done and as usual he was being difficult. But I knew I could manipulate him, push his buttons until he conceded. I wasn't going to hesitate use that against him.
"What way do I act?"
"You know put off by something so trivial. I'm just asking for a fav…"
"Do you want to go out?"
"Do I…what…what did you just say?"
"Do you want to go out. On a date. With me?"
"I…I um…is this a joke Alex. Because if it is it's not fun…?" I ran my hands over my apron in an attempt to find some solid ground.
"No Norma it's most definitely not a joke"
"Look, Alex I don't…" I didn't finish because I was hesitant. Of course I was, because I'd never thought of him that way. Ok so maybe I'd entertained the idea in a moment of weakness, but it most certainly never crossed my mind that he might reciprocate. But now, with his own revelation divulged and hanging in the air between us, I was forced to confront it.
"What have you got to lose?"
"I…" He was right, what did I have to lose? A relationship I had never had to begin with? It was something I decided that I was willing to risk. "Sure. Sure, Alex I'll go on a date with you" But it was his smile after I said it. So, slight and so quick that if I hadn't been looking directly at his face I would have missed it entirely. It irked me in a way I couldn't explain. And even though I was the one who said yes, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. "But nowhere around here. I don't need the whole town knowing"
He turned to walk down the steps of my front porch. Throwing it over his shoulder as he did "Whatever you say Ms. Bates"
X
It was a surprise that I ended up being thrilled by. Because despite the ups and downs we shared, the fighting, and the secrets we kept, it turned out that there was something between us that seemed to work. Functionality that benefited the togetherness instead of the separation. Because now when we're together it's easy, easy to feel and let go. And it's even easier to feel myself falling in love.
Tonight, is no different.
It's comfortable sitting against him. At his house and in his space. Nestled in-between his arms and the feel of his love seat while we're together. It's a pleasurable comfort, one I rarely find, and even with the silence, as we watch something neither of us is really paying attention to, it feels right; being alone with him and getting to see the side of a man no one else gets to. I don't remember when everything became so easy. But it has, and despite all the execution, and the pressure I know he feels to make our nights together memorable, these are the moments that are truly my favorite.
And they always seem to get better.
Because it's been forever since someone's thought to do this, to slip from a simple kiss to suck on my lower lip. Showing desire through the subtleties. I love the sensations, the tugging, the teeth lightly grazing-it's tantalizing, and makes me feel delicate in a way that he probably doesn't even think about. It feels right. Because he's right and everything he does is right. And with that being said, his hands are perfect as they move. The fingers trailing over the skin of my face, his thumb resting below the dip of my chin, palm against my cheek. His other hand working to claim its position on the small of my back; the extremities kneading the flesh. As we continue exploring, mouths moving against one another, I discover he tastes like cinnamon and whiskey. And the mixture is completely consuming.
"Alex, I need to breathe," I whisper it into his lips while we continue to kiss, licking my own automatically when starts to pull back. His eyes are sparkling while they search my features, his smile reciprocating my own.
"I like your chin," I tell him. He half squints at me, as if he thinks that one glass of wine he gave me earlier might have pushed me toward tipsy, but I just laugh back. "Seriously-I never noticed before, but it's...well, it's a good chin."
"Well, I'm glad you like it...I guess. But…I'd much rather kiss yours" And he does, along with the hollow of my throat, and the sensitive skin by my ear before he leans back over me, hovering, until I feel his hands slip up and underneath the fabric of my shirt. My body betrays me, shuddering at the delicious contact before he even begins to make slow circles on my flushed skin. When he feels me begin to move again, his mouth resumes its assault on my lips, kissing against the pliant flesh. My eyes closing in response, as the sensations begin to intensify. I let him take me with him then, let him re-position my body until it's my back that's resting flush with the cushions. His hands instinctively moving around to the bare flesh of my stomach.
"Can I take this off?" He's toying with the hem of my shirt when he says it, and I know from the way I'm responding, he knows that I want him to. It still blows my mind that he thinks to ask for permission anyway.
"Yeah" My answer is breathy, and just hearing it makes me blush, because I know he can sense through my voice how I feel about him.
Lifting my arms up for him, he pulls the fabric away as I do, removing it until my top half is completely undressed. And its moments like this one, where I'll never be over the way he looks at me when I'm vulnerable. Because right now, even though he shares that look, the one that men so often get when they're looking at something they want, jaw hard and lips half pursed, his is different. His eyes are only one mine; the intensity of it is overwhelming. I find it incredible the amount of desire they reflect for only me.
But instead of continuing like usual, this time he's still, just watching me, and the scrutiny is unnerving. I laugh in a jerk response to the unease but he seems to smile back. The smirk doing nothing to steady my breath or the rapidity of my heartbeat.
"What are you thinking?"
"I was just wondering"
"About what?"
"I'm wondering why you said yes. That day on your porch…I'm glad you did…I just…I don't know" He looks at me without any trace of a smile, and for the first time in the heat of the moment, I realize just how strange his newfound vulnerability is.
"I don't know either" It's honest but I know it's not the answer he wants to hear.
"Norma"
"I thought you hated me"
"You thought I hated you?"
"Well we weren't exactly friends Alex"
"I've always…I could never hate you. Not ever"
"Well that's good to hear because otherwise this would be a little awkward right now" I laugh, touching his upper chest as I do, trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm serious Norma. For me this has always been real" His admission is sobering.
"Has it?" I breathe out.
"Yeah" His whisper ghosting across my skin.
"I like you Alex. More than…it's just…it's been a long time since I've gotten this close to anyone. It's always been hard for me, but with you…I don't know, it's different. And even though I find this moving fast, it's getting real for me too. It's…I don't know…it's scary"
"Is it?"
"Yeah it is"
"Is this scary?" And before I even have the chance to react, his lips are at the lace trim of my bra, lingering over the curve of my breasts, toying with the hem. His hand coming up to cup one, I gasp as his lips and tongue start moving back and forth across the flesh. I can feel him pulling the remaining fabric down toward the underwire, stopping only when his lips find their goal. His mouth is hot, a pleasurable contrast against the newly exposed coldness, and my back arcs at the contact. When it does, my knees lift of their own volition, legs cocking between his. I can feel his own desire resting against me. I need to feel more of him. Now.
The hands that were resting on his shoulders find their way down, jerking hard, until I'm able to pull on his shirt, finding the release until I can slip both hands underneath the fabric. I feel the barest skim of his teeth, biting down softly, as my nails begin to dig into his lower back.
"You're beautiful," he says, and I look at him, his eyes back to focusing on me. "I'm serious. You're smiling like I'm not, but Jesus am I serious."
"And you're overdressed" It's more of a whisper than should be audible, but this close, he hears it clearly. He sits up partially as I catch the bottom hem of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head until we're nearly even. He looks at himself, and at my bra, and raises his eyebrows. I take a breath and nod even though he's already reaching behind me with both arms, a loose hug as he undoes the clasp that's holding it together. Unhinged it falls, his hands moving around me, each holding a side until he uses one arm to drop it over the edge of the couch. "We're even, now," I breathe into his ear.
"Yeah, for now," he says, dropping his lips against mine and remolding me back into the couch once more. Half underneath his weight, his left hand is still beneath my back, moving idly around my shoulder blades, pressing hard to ensure our contact. His fingers grip, their interactions powerful while they come to linger on the line of my waist, tracing the space between the bare skin and my skirt. Deciding instead to roughly squeeze juncture of space between my leg and the beginning curve of my ass.
And I'm not sure how long this has been going on, my breathing heavy, much heavier than his as we continue to move. The pleasure is building incredibly fast, and we're only kissing on his couch, but I want it to last. So, I aim to distract.
He's taller, and has the advantage here, but in the midst of our kiss I spring my hands away from his shoulders and aim one for his ribs, the other for the base of his neck, sprinkling my fingers against his skin, laughing at the exact moment he breaks the kiss to squirm away from my hands. He catches both of my them fairly quickly, and I'm left thinking I should have predicted this, thinking maybe my subconscious, at least, knew he would. Leaning on his elbow, one hand at my cheek, the other holding both my wrists just below my breasts. My heart flutters at the helpless position I'm in. But I trust him completely.
"Now, why did you do that?" he asks, and I just laugh briefly in response, smiling up at him. He lifts me up halfway, reaching around the side of me, breaking into insignificant struggles when I realize he's going for my discarded bra. It's only moments before my wrists are tied securely together with the lace that held me just moments ago, "You're stuck now"
"Alex, come on it was stupid…I won't tickle you again, I swear."
"And I'm supposed to believe that sort of promise coming from a woman in bondage? Yeah, right." He laughs and his eyes are bright with the entertainment that my twisting wrists are giving him. "You're just tightening the knot" He says, and lightly brushes against the white skin on the underside of my arm.
"Stop it, that tickles!"
"Does it really?" We both laugh, and he leans up, just watching me, though I still haven't entirely given up on slipping out of the restraint. "I think you like this."
"Really?" I ask sarcastically. Watching his eyes, and his broad smile, almost feeling as if my predicament is worth seeing the enjoyment on his face, and knowing that means I'm in deeper already than I'd thought I was. "I want to kiss you better. Untie this so I can."
"Magic word?"
"Please?"
"Not even close" And he kisses me, my hands crushed between our chests, one of his holding steady at my waist the other on my shoulder, my tongue mingles with his as my hands flutter out, reaching for any part of him I can grasp, just wanting to feel him, there's failure when I can't find the freedom. Writhing, I moan against him when his hands begin massaging my skin and his teeth bite into the dip of my collar bone, and the skin of my shoulder. He sucks harder, pulling my body closer as he does, and it's hard to keep quiet when he's roaming my body like this, so I don't, crying out a little as bites down again. When he eventually pulls back, I can't help leaning up after him, struggling to remain in contact, trying to reach his body once again even as the hand around my waist holds me in place.
"You liked that," he says gruffly.
He smiles at me, with a look that someone else would probably find patronizing, but for me it's completely seductive. And right now, with the twist of his lips showing off how he wants to laugh is only more of a reason for me to drink him in. I wiggle as close to the back of his couch as I can, one of his hands catching the elastic, pulling my wrists up to just above my head. His other plays lightly against my skin, trailing fingertips so that I can just barely feel them. By the time he finally reaches down and kisses my lips lightly, it's more gentle than he's ever kissed me. Much softer than the first night we went out on a real date, and not as friends. I'm left more breathless after this single kiss than even before, I look up to him expectantly, his lips still smiling, but his eyes are more serious. "Do you want to keep going? If you want to we can stop and I'll untie..."
"Alex, I don't want to stop." I look at him, and relief slips through me when I see him smile without any hesitation.
With that, he rolls to his feet. Slipping his arms beneath me, and picking me up easily. Cradled in his limbs, I start to stutter out a response, a protest, but he just shakes his head at me with that wonderful smile on his face, obviously biting back laughter at the nerves I'm showing just five feet in the air. "I'm not gonna drop you." As he moves I keep thinking that he really is going to trip though, if for no other reason than that he seems to be looking nowhere but my face. Still, I don't say anything, because right now I can't imagine a heaven that's sweeter than his stare.
Resting me on the bed, he stands beside me, and above me, watching until I finally end up blushing. He's undoing his belt, still watching me as he slips out of his jeans, and lets them drop to the floor. When he's standing there before me in nothing but spandex I can't seem to catch my breath. His fingers unbutton my skirt slowly, and I lift up my hips allowing him to slip it off. It drops onto the floor mingling with his clothing, and then he stretches out beside me, pushing my hands above me once again until he finds some impossible way to hook them to the bed frame. Pleased with his handy work his hand finds my face again, while the other slides back and forth across my stomach, inching down until it meets the edge of my underwear. I can feel him better now, his hardness against my thigh, and there's nothing I want more than to be touching him, especially once his hand slips beneath the elastic and begins tugging them down.
"Alex, untie me, please." He just grins against me. Removing the garment completely from my lower half as he does.
"You'll have to give me some incentive for a move like that. What are you gonna do if I untie you?"
I laugh up at him. "I'll make it worth your while."
"But how?"
"Will...you just untie me, and if it doesn't prove worth it, you can tie me back up right through to tomorrow night."
"For some reason, I just don't want to take you up on that one."
"Come on Alex"
But he doesn't listen to my pleading as his fingers move lower, searching and exploring until they set an unrelenting rhythm against me. My hips bucking up in response to the pressure. Fingers steady in their movements, hips rolling, he moves forward, never breaking that rhythm, and closes his lips around my nipple. His hands pick up speed as he switches sides, teasing more fervently, harder, his tongue still grazing around my breast. I can feel myself shaking as he somehow finds a way to apply even more pressure; shuddering as my climax begins to build. I want him now.
"Al…Alex..Alex"
"Hmm?"
"Sto..stop. God…you have…have to stop"
"I don't know seems to me you're enjoying this"
"I want you…inside…now" He's a man that doesn't need to be told twice. His lips come down hard on mine at the same moment he pushes into me, and I cry out against his lips. But I'm unsatisfied because he only slides into me partially, stopping, holding there, and though my eyes are closed, I can feel him watching me as I gasp. My hands are still gripping the headboard, when I begin to stretch up for him, wanting to feel his lips and wanting him further inside. He slides agonizingly slow, pulling out of me completely, my hips bucking up in response, a feeble attempt to try and draw him back in. But it doesn't take long for him to stop the teasing, seeing how desperate I am for him. He doesn't hesitate this time, immediately thrusting forward until he's entirely inside me.
And each moment that Alex pulls away, I want him to come back, faster, and farther, as close as he can. His lips flutter back and forth against my lips, against my neck, and my ears can't tell which gasp is whose or which moan comes from which mouth except for when names escapes through parted lips.
When I come, I do hard, feeling him find the same sweet release only moments behind me. He collapses half on top of me, muscles shaking as he reaches up to release my arms from their resting place. With limbs finally free, I curl up, pulling him to me, and I sigh at the closeness. Running my lips over the sweat of his neck and collarbone while the both of us are still trying to regain our breath.
His fingers glide through my hair as he turns onto his back, taking me with him as he does, and I slip my arm over him, letting my fingers play on his chest. He watches me move for a little before he works his fingers up and over my wrist. Pulling the willing limb to his mouth. He's soft when he kisses against the flesh before trailing them up to my open palm.
"I'm sorry for doing that"
"Don't be. I really liked it."
"You sure? It wasn't too much?"
"I'm telling you I liked it. You really couldn't tell?" I sit up a little trying to get a better look at his face.
"Oh, I could tell. I just wanted to hear you say it"
"I hate you"
"You do?" I lay back down, forgoing the eye contact and choosing instead to nestle my head on his chest. "Definitely. So much" I feel him smile at my sarcasm. "Do you think we can even be friends?"
"God, I don't know Norma we really don't get along"
"Sad, isn't it?"
"Oh, most definitely" There's no doubt he can feel me smile too.