She looked at Lyra. Vagarously, she made her way to the sleeping girl and knelt beside her.
This was a place Marisa never imagined she would be, specially by her own will and, most of all, against the knowledge of the Magisterium.
The dark and damp cave walls made the air chill and everything a bit darker, despite the sun shining on the outside. But at least it was a place where Lyra's body could rest safely while her mind was forced into unconsciousness.
She lifted her hand to caress her daughters' face and Marisa felt it again, that strange feeling rising from deep inside her. She should be getting used to it by now...
She remembered the first time she had felt it, many years ago, while staring at the baby's huge, deep blue eyes for the first time. Just like her father's eyes...
'Motherly love, the strongest of all' she recalled a nurse telling her. Of course, she had shrugged it off at the time, reality quickly dawning on her that those beautiful eyes were the reason her baby could not go home with her.
But right now, in this cave hidden from the world, she starred at her girl's face, wishing with all her heart to see those curious, unquiet eyes open.
"You have that look on your face." she knew quite well to what look her monkey was referring to.
"Don't tell me you feel nothing." she had seen him caress Pantalaimon's fur more than once. He was always quick to try and soothe the daemon each time little whimpers escaped from Lyra's lips.
Truth be told, it scared her the love she felt for the girl. It was awkward, to say the least, knowing she was risking her life for a child she hadn't even known for long. Was she mad? Yes, she must be. But she knew the Magisterium too well; were things different, she'd be the first to suggest that a new Eve could not happen. She would be the one forming a team to find the threat and exterminate it. Luckily, they didn't have her anymore... Their fate depended on lazy men finding someone willing to do their duty amongst political debates.
And further, this was not any child, this was an amazingly brave child who went against all odds to accomplish things every grownup was too scared to even dream of. And it was her child. For a brief moment, Marisa wondered if the love she felt for this girl came from simply having been born from her or because of everything she had done.
She remembered her concern when Lyra disappeared during the cocktail party and for the whole time, until she found her again, how the girl was constantly on her mind; and after, the utter panic she felt for finding her in Bolvangar, in that room...
She shuddered. No, she loved the girl since the day she had met her, her personality only made it deepen faster it.
It would be getting dark soon, the temperature was already beginning to drop with each passing minute and Lyra had goosebumps on her arms. She smiled as she closed the sleeping bag, a hint of sadness when remembering when she had found her, deep asleep on the cold, hard ground.
She kissed her daughters' forehead.
"Sweet dreams, my Lyra"