Chapter 1: Happy Birthday Claire
I ran silently through the forest with negligent ease, the frosted ground flying beneath my feet and the sky just a faint blur as a propelled myself to go further. I dashed through the trees, the wind whipping my hair behind me, making the gentle curls tousle softly. I could not find in me the desire to stop or to return from where I had come. The energy and anger that propelled me overtook my being as I ran away from the painful reality that was my life. Nightfall came gradually, the glowing moon dispelling a faint glimmer of light through the crevices of the treetops. My anger had vanished and now sadness and fear conquered me. I collapsed onto the ground and curled myself against the tree, succumbing to my internal depression. The tears slid slowly down my cheeks as I allowed myself to remember. The gaping hole in my heart ached as I let the pain overpower me. I clutched at my chest and sobbed as I remember the meaningless promises he had made to me, before he disappeared from my life and left me alone to wallow in my sadness.
Today was the twentieth of December, my eighteenth birthday and the third anniversary of Quil's departure. My birthdays were never celebrated anymore, everyone understanding that to me this cursed day was a reminder of him, a time to mourn. Nothing had been the same after he left me. He had told that I would move on; there would be no more reminders. I laughed internally and without humor as he said this with a ring of finality. How could there be no more reminders? Living on the Makah reservation, only twenty minutes away from visiting everything that reminded me of him in La Push, I would always have reminders. Little did I know that I truly would be living without reminders. Emily and Sam ceased to visit or call, and my pathetic attempts at contact were met with disappointment. I remember escaping one day, running with all my strength towards the one place I would feel safe, La Push. When had reached my destination, it was gone. Quil's house and all reminders of him, eradicated. I remember crumpling to the ground, crying fearlessly for all to hear my mourning. Unconsciousness came rapidly; I welcomed the numbing black hole my mind had driven itself towards. When I had awoken from my oblivion, I back in my home lying in my bed.
My only friends had also left me. Jacob, Seth, Embry, Paul, Jared, all of them. Being around Quil I began to grow to love his friends. Jacob and Seth were comforts to me, reminders of Quil. They had kind personalities and a willingness to listen to my fears when Quil was not there. They were like brothers to me. Embry was a crack-up. Even though at times I wished I were strong enough to actually to cause him serious damage when he pushed me overboard with those witty comments, everyone, including him, knew that I loved him and although he seemed like an inconsiderate jerk, he really did truly care about me. They all did, at one point, before they were violently pushed out of my life without a word in edgewise. I was left completely alone and incapable of protecting myself from the outside world. Quil never knew the pain he had caused me by taking away from me the thing that I loved the most. Everything about Quil, his brothers, his life, his happiness, was the reason for my existence, the strength behind the labored breaths I took. When he left, he had taken everything with him, leaving me with nothing.
The small things were gone too. My mom had gotten rid of the old pictures where Quil was with me, leaving us with barely any photo albums, considering Quil had been in my life since practically the beginning of it. Another souvenir was also stripped from me. I encountered it when I was running in the woods one day, desperate to find any reminder of Quil. I had been looking for a meadow he had taken me to, the summer before he left. I remembered when he had brought me there. It had been beautiful. A stream ran through the clearing, the flowing water crashing lightly against the Earth containing it. There were wild flowers and exotic plants. The place looked like it had come straight from a fairy tale. The blades of grass even grew beautifully, each the same shade of the luscious green only the forests in the reservation could maintain. Everything was perfect. That same day we had carved our names into one of the many beautiful trees that surrounded our own private haven. I had been looking for it months after Quil left, desperate for evidence that he was not only a dream, but a solid memory. I did reach it, one cold December day. The magic of the meadow was gone. Ice covered the surface and the snow had killed the beauty it once contained. What tortured me the most however was that the tree had fallen. It had been torn away from its connection to the Earth, uprooted. The base had snapped and shards of wood stuck out from the tree stump. I looked to see if our carving was still there and the large portion of wood it had been carved into was gone, clawed out to an unusual extent. I stayed in my room for two weeks afterwards.
I was brought out of my reminiscing by the piercing sound of a wolf's howl. I envisioned Quil immediately, a chocolate brown wolf, brown due to the color and intensity of his eyes, singing its song in the form of a howl, up to the full moon. Wolves were the main focus of my dreams. I had seen each one of Quil's friends almost every night when I lay asleep. Jacob was stunning, his russet fur the same color of his skin. Seth reminded me of first beach down in La Push, his fur the same radiant color of the sand. Sam's fur was black. His wolf form was stealthy; despite his size, he was as quiet as a shadow and very swift. The wolf that always hit me as most striking was the chocolate brown one. It was Quil. His eyes were the same smoldering brown and carried that same penetrating gaze. The chocolate brown of his eyes had depicted the color of his soft fur. I was never able to come closer in the dream because whenever I advanced Quil's eyes would turn fearful and I would awaken.
With his background being Quileute and his strong connection to his heritage due to Old Quil, I had always envisioned him and his friends as the legends described his people. Wolves. I knew it was an unrealistic idea to anticipate but I was always caught up by the magic of the Quileute legends, and the way Old Quil delivered the legends majestically with the power of his voice evident in with each spoken word. Quil seemed like a wolf also. He was protective of me and aggressive towards other who hurt me. It seemed like he had laid his claim on me, his imprint. I always thought my ideas were unpractical until I saw the same chocolate brown wolf I had imagined in the first place, lurking outside my window in the shadows of the trees. The moonlight had struck out its silhouette hiding in the shadows of the forest and I saw Quil's eyes. I knew it was a ludicrous thought but it always struck me as odd the similarities between the mysterious wolf and my Quil.
I returned to the present reluctantly. After years of grief, I had experienced fleeting happiness in remembering Quil and my past life. But it quickly departed as I realized that my memories of the past weren't my life now and the once happy Claire in my previous existence wasn't the Claire that had grown up and suffered hardships of betrayal and rejection. As I lie there against the cold stone floor sobbing, I cried out Quil's name in desperation, praying for a miracle. I crumpled swiftly to the ground in desperation, unable to stand the stabbing pain in my chest, as I heard my wolf cry out to me once more.
So there we have it. Its my first attempt at fanfiction but hopefully i didnt fail miserably :/
Leave reviews if you want me to continue
P.S i dont know if its just me but i usually hate it when stories dont have any conversation and talking and its all just inside the persons head..but i wanted Claire's situation and story to get across before i actually brought her life and interactions into the picture..so i dont know if anyone else feels that way too but just know its not permanent.
P.S.S if anyone has any ideas as to where this story could go im definetly open to suggestions :)