Tobias P.O.V.
I woke up today with nervous butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Today is the Choosing Ceremony. It will be the hardest decision I will ever make in my life. I get up, the cold air surrounding me the second the covers drop. I walk to my bathroom to turn on the scorching hot water. As I step in, I can feel the water trickling into my scars but it's refreshing and it cleans the cuts well.
My aptitude test yesterday told me that I was both Dauntless and Erudite. (AN. In Free Four, Veronica Roth put his results as Abnegation and Dauntless but I wanted to spice it up!) This makes me Divergent which is really dangerous in today's society. Jeanine Matthews, the leader of Erudite, has sent out eyes and ears everywhere hunting Divergents. Why? Because she feels they can't be controlled like all the rest of her minions in the faction system. I can either choose Dauntless to be brave (the opposite of my father) or I can stay in Abnegation to be selfless (also unlike him). If I stay, I will get a house to share with other Abnegation born. For me, Erudite is not an option. I like to be free and that is not one of the luxury's there.
Marcus, my father is the leader of Abnegation. My mother died when I was about nine so I don't remember much of her but I do remember some things. I remember Marcus coming home drunk and beating her. She would tell me to go hide in the closet and only to come out when she called me. I would do as she told but always run to her the minute she called me. After he would beat her up, he would go unconscious.
I would then try my best to clean her up. She would always say then things like "you're such a good little boy" or "you're so selfless". When she died by "suicide", I was devastated. (AN. "Suicide" is his mother dying of Marcus' beatings). We only really had each other, my aunt Bethany and my cousin Alex as family. Marcus blamed it on me and would beat me up or put me in the closet and lock me in for a few hours. He would tell me "it's for your own good" but really it was just for his fun. Aunt Bethany and Alex couldn't come over anymore so I was alone. My only company being my sorrows and shadow.
After Abnegation initiation, there will be a sort off matchmaking get together with all the new initiates. There, you have the choice to choose your partner. I guess you could say it's like a second choosing ceremony! You don't have to choose one of course but when you do and if you want to be together, you will get to move into your own house. You can do this for up to 2 years. After that, the leader of the faction will choose one for you so in my case, my dad. It is the only way to meet someone unless you fall for a factionless. If you fall in love with one of them, you shall join them to be factionless.
After getting dressed and ready, I cautiously made my way down to the kitchen hoping Marcus had already left for the ceremony. Luck was on my side because I came down to an empty kitchen and the faint smell of alcohol. I ate some porridge and left, making my way to the Hub.
~ Page break~
I walk into The Hub and see an array of colours: black, white and black, blue, reds and yellows and grey each representing their own faction. I go to join my own faction with my head down when my path crosses with someone. I look up briefly to apologise when my eyes catch hers. She has beautiful, grey/blue eyes reminding me of a restless ocean. Overall, they hold mystery and … excitement? I compose myself, realising I have been looking too long and look down. The blush creeping up my neck suddenly rushes into my face. I look back up into those beautiful eyes and say: "I apologise for bumping into you and for every second after." She smiles before replying: "Apology accepted" and with that I keep on walking watching to make sure I don't bump into anyone again.
I am thinking of her as I make my way to the seat, her smile, her excitement, her politeness. When I sit down, I push the thought of her away and bring in a new one: My decision. What will I choose? Dauntless or Abnegation? I look onto the bowls hoping they might help me decide: The hot coals of a hard, dedicated life? Or the smooth rocks of a simpler, less suicidal life? I look onto the stage only to see Marcus, reading out the names of the sixteen year olds of my faction. As the minutes march on, and my name getting closer and closer by the second, I think about the decision I am going to make in less than five minutes. I try to think of my future life in both factions. In Dauntless, I would have tattoos and piercings and … I stop my train of thought not wanting to know how I would look. I am not as reckless as I thought. Why my Aptitude test told me Dauntless is beyond me.
"Tobias Eaton" my "father" calls out into the silence of the hall. I stand on my shaky legs, not knowing if I could trust them to keep me upright. As I walk down the stairs, I can feel the eyes of many people to my left and right. When I arrive at the bowls, Marcus gives me a fake smile that would seem like a genuine, heart-warming sign of affection to people further away but this close, I could see hatred in his eyes. I glance down at the bowls, seeing the smooth rocks as I envy their perfection. I then see the rough coals and feel sorry for their defect. I slit my palm with the sharp blade hard enough so that blood came out. As I hovered my hand over the bowls, through the corner of my eye I could see my father giving me a glance of disapproval at my hesitation.
As my blood was about to drip I put it over the bowl of my choice and hear the river-like sound of my blood, sliding down the cool, smooth rocks. That was then followed by the hushed, reserved applauses of Abnegation. For the first time in my life I glanced in Marcus' direction and I could see that he had a minor look of approval on his face.