My name is Captain Nathaniel Barnes of the GCPD and co-founder of its black-ops Strike Force team. When I came to the GCPD, it was a corrupt wasteland of sad, weak cops, and I have thus far molded it into the disciplined justice patrol that this city so desperately needed and deserved. Although my work is far from over, there is still a person under my employment that I have yet to see prove his mettle. Detective Harvey Bullock is the most corrupt officer I've let remain under my employment. Jim Gordon has vouched for this man's loyalty, but I have not seen any evidence that Detective Bullock is worthy of his title at the GCPD. I am on the verge of firing him, but I can't be sure that is a wise decision, so I have decided to amass a file full of evidence against Bullock so I can decide once and for all if I should fire his sorry butt.
First off, I decided to interview the first person to vouch for him – his partner Jim Gordon. I asked him to come in my office, and the following is a recording of his testimony.
Well, there was this one time, but I don't know a lot about it. You told me to take him to the pier to investigate the Montgomery case, but he didn't want to come. He ended up going, but vowed revenge on me. Anyway, after we were talking about this singer named Adele who I've never heard of before, so then that gave him an idea for his revenge. And then he... well, I guess it'll be easier if I show you my cell phone. Just look at this.
(Jim shows me his cell phone and I scroll through a text message conversation between him and Bullock. )
Bullock: Hello
Jim: Oh, hi. Bullock, is that you?
Bullock: It's me
Jim: Oh, hey. What's up?
Bullock: I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
Jim: What? Oh, I get it. It's the start of January and you haven't texted me since the end of December. Very funny, Harvey. What do you want to meet for?
Bullock: To go over everything
Jim: With the Montgomery case? Mr. Montgomery is still in the hospital
Bullock: They say time's supposed to heal you
Jim: Yeah, I hope he's gonna be okay.
Bullock: But I ain't done much healing
Jim: Yeah, I heard about your kidney. Sorry about that.
Bullock: Hello from the other side
Jim: Oh, are you on the other side of Gotham? The reception must be terrible
Bullock: I must have called a thousand times
Jim: Yeah, sorry about that.
Bullock: To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
Jim: Umm... what?
Bullock: But when I call you never seem to be home
Jim: Are you drunk again?
Bullock: Hello from the outside
Jim: Hold on... this is an Adele song, isn't it?
Bullock: At least I can say that I've tried
Jim: This is getting annoying, please stop
Bullock: To tell you I'm sorry
Jim: I'm serious. Stop.
Bullock: For breaking your heart
Jim: BULLOCK, STOP THIS RIGHT NOW
Bullock: But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
Jim: I swear to god, if you don't stop this instant...
Bullock:
Jim:
Bullock:
Jim: Good, you stopped. Okay, now do you want to-
*Incoming call from Harvey Bullock*
At this point, Jim picks up the phone call and Bullock blares the song into the phone at full volume, making Jim go legally deaf for two hours.
(A/N) I hope you liked it! More chapters coming soon, and if you really liked it, go check out my other story about Alfred called The Secret Diaries of Alfred Pennyworth! Oh, and I do not own the song, all rights go to Adele, and all that stuff, so don't sue me.