Author's Note: It's not a one-shot. It's a song. If you haven't heard it, then PLEASE listen to it first.
Summary: Why does the night janitor care about House? (To the tune of 'Mystery' by Hugh Laurie)
My Keys – By Liz
My Keys!
I always leant you all of my keys.
You loved to use them against authorities.
So I would always let you use them as you please.
Expertise!
You are so smart when it comes to infectious disease.
And I know you hate kids who come in just for a sneeze.
But when you examine them, they will start to seize.
But that really has nothing to do with my keys.
Macaroni and Cheese!
You love to eat pasta that's smothered with cheese.
But you hated it whenever they added the peas.
And you hide your meals under salads to avoid paying fees.
Paying Fees…
Your dog had fleas!
Doctor Wilson gave you a dog with much unease.
And in the end, both you and Hector became displeased.
But having a dog is not the only problem that I can see.
Sexually transmitted disease!
You always liked having sex in more than threes.
And you'd always leave your hookers feeling very pleased.
But unfortunately, they all had STDs.
So why do I still care for you?
Why is my love so strong for you?
Why do I lend my keys to you?
Well, I guess it's just a mystery….
Fin