It wasn't ever really about having a choice that made me bitter. It was more along the lines of having to give up someone I love – again. The first time I was told about Kyle Reese, I was just a kid. I didn't know that feelings were possible until I couldn't deny how attractive he was blowing up the T-1000 with a grenade launcher. Even then, I didn't know what it meant to love someone until I heard about our son through his memories. And then he went and ruined it. He said he would die for me.

In that moment, something inside of me broke because I knew that he wasn't lying. I knew because it was supposed to happen.

Maybe that selfish thinking was why I wanted to jump into the future. It wasn't just about creating a new life for me or for the world. I wanted to build a world that was better. It wasn't for me or for John. It was for Kyle Reese.

And now we have a chance. At least, I hope.

Kyle sits behind me in the truck, and I can't help the occasional glances out my window. I know he's watching me, and after the kiss we shared I know I can't deny fate. It might be my fate to love Kyle Reese, but it doesn't have to be my fate to lose him. He thinks he's the only one who can protect me, but someone out there sent Pops.

We drive in silence until we get to a city. On its outskirts, there's a hotel. Pops knows how much I love a hot shower after a long night, and I doubt Kyle will protest to a decent night of sleep in a hotel. He leans forward in his seat, prodding me with the back of his hand. I see what he points my attention to. The hotel has a dog sitting outside, and I nod.

"Pops, you're going to have to stay in the car while we get the room," I tell him.

"No need," he says. "While you rest, I will acquire a new vehicle and supplies."

As we get out of the car a block away, I hear Pops give Kyle a warning about watching over me for the night. It makes me smirk and roll my eyes. I feel him near as we walk to the lobby. The dog sniffs us both, only growling slightly until Kyle's hands go to its muzzle. The black thing's tail starts wagging, and we walk past it.

When I open the door for myself, I notice it's lighter than I expected. Glancing to him, his hand is very near mine. I can feel his breaths on my skin and along the stray strands of my hair. Our eyes meet, lingering just a second too long. My eyes are on his lips again, but the attendant gets our attention. Something about letting the cold air in.

We check in, and I'm too aware of where he is the whole time. Every time he comes closer, I feel my heart race just a little faster.

"There's only one room available, ma'am," the attendant tells me. "It's got a queen size bed, though."

Suddenly I'm infinitely more aware of Kyle being there. My eyes widen as I stare at the attendant. I hear Kyle clear his throat, and I force myself to close my mouth.

"Can you provide a roller bed?" I ask with a smile, choosing to ignore Kyle's reaction.

"It's going to be extra," he tells me.

I nod in agreement, and I sign the bill for the room and the roller bed. My hands are clumsy as I hand over the cash for the room, and I end up dropping the change. Kyle notices, but he doesn't say anything. I can handle any combat, but I was never trained for this. Maybe Kyle is right. Maybe I'm not good at relationships because of Pops.

But at least I'm alive to remedy that.

Kyle closes the door behind him, and I turn on the lamp beside the bed. My legs feel weak, and so does the rest of me. But I don't shower yet. Instead, I check everything in the room. Unhooking the television and the phone, I look around for any sign of intrusion.

"Skynet is gone, Sarah," Kyle tells me again. "You don't have to keep looking in the dark alleys for some machine."

"Old habits are the hardest to give up," I say.

"How about we just stop avoiding each other and get to the point here," he says. My eyebrows furrow as he crosses the room to stand in front of the only window where I've shut the curtains. "We need to talk about John."

I gulp, not sure if I'm ready for this. Straightening my shoulders, I level my eyes with his as best I can.

"What about John?" I ask, feigning ignorance.

"I don't want you to remember the John you saw," he says.

Oh. I feel myself relax. I thought for a second he was going to mention that we're supposed to be conceiving him right now. I've already come to grips with that. In fact, the moment I saw John in that hospital I knew I wanted him. No matter what it took. Call it a mother's instant love. And I really don't know how to tell Kyle that I want "it" to happen.

"I don't want anyone to remember him as the thing he became," he says. "I want you to remember him the way I remember him."

"I don't want to remember him, Kyle," I tell him honestly.

I want to tell him that I want to know John. I want to have him, and I want to raise him as a family. Normal. But he cuts me off as I'm trying to form the words. Kyle's hands go through his hair, and he shakes his head with a sigh. He looks like he's in pain, and I feel a pang deep in my chest. I walk to stand in front of him.

"Sarah, please," he whispers. "He was my best friend. He was the only thing that mattered to me growing up. And then when I fell in love with a woman in a photograph after hearing stories about her, I didn't know what to think. But he knew. John Connor saved me in every way he could."

He's rambling, and for a second I let him keep going as I slowly make my way to him. He really does love John. Finally, the only thing I can think of to make him stop is to stand on my tiptoes, clasp my hands behind his neck and reach up to kiss him. Our mouths connect, and instantly electricity claws across my body. Trails of fire sizzle along my skin as his lips take mine. His mouth is hotter than any fire, blazing across my skin as his lips trace a line from my mouth to my jaw and then to my shoulder and back.

My hand reaches for his face, and his hand seizes mine. He stops me, and I purse my lips in protest. Our eyes connect, hot with lust and deep want. Slowly, his lips touch the tips of my fingers, and I can't help the fluttering in my stomach. I inch closer again, so that our mouths can find each other again.

His kiss isn't hungry like it was before. It's deep and promising. Warm and wet. His lips overtake mine, and I rise to meet him. My hands run along his chest, his stomach, his back, his neck. I am searching for something, but I don't know what. Kyle reaches around me, his hands searching, too, along my back, thighs and neck. It's not a frantic act. It's like our hands want to memorize every curve of our bodies in this moment.

I break away, breathless. Kyle's forehead rests against mine, and he steps back to the wall to remove his shirt. I almost forgot how beautiful he is, even with the scars from war. My hands fumble with mine, and nervous energy melts into an overwhelming need to be near him. Our shirts mangle together on the floor. Soon, we are stripped of all clothing.

We stand there, looking at each other naked for the second time, and my nerves return. Kyle doesn't look as comfortable as he did before, either. My eyes can't look away from him, though. Every inch of him is mine, just like every inch of me is his. Something builds inside of me. A want for him. No, this is much, much stronger. I need him.

We are so close now. So incredibly close that I can feel electricity charging along my body.

"I love you," I say, and while I mean it with everything inside of me, I don't know if he hears me. The words are subdued by his lips. But I think he hears, because his body responds by doubling all efforts.

My arms go around his neck, and his arms hold me against him. His kiss is deep and ravishing. He kisses my lips, then my jaw, neck and shoulders. My head tilts back, and I can't stop myself from pushing him against the wall. I want to be so close to him. Nothing is enough. Kyle cups my breasts in his hands, and when his lips find those, too, I lose all coherent thought. My breath catching in my throat makes him laugh softly, almost teasing. He stops, though, when my hands find his manhood. It's a hard thing, and the second I find it, I can't believe how forward I am.

"You need to sit down," I tell him in a ragged breath.

"You're pretty demanding for someone so small," he whispers as he nibbles on my ear.

Kyle smiles as he sits on the bed with his back against the headboard. I follow him, trailing kisses along his chest, stomach and finally his lips. When my lips unite with his, the hunger has returned. Groaning and moaning between our kisses, I straddle him. Slowly, tantalizingly, I lower myself onto him.

"Oh God, Sarah," he says, dragging a hissing breath.

My reaction is almost the same. It's a foreign and unfamiliar feeling to have him inside of me. It doesn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would. I move slowly, getting accustomed to the feeling. But every time he leaves me, I am met with an instant and overwhelming urge for him to come back. Kyle's lips are on my breasts again, and my fingers claw first the headboard and then his back. Tiny bits of electricity feel like they're building into something explosive in my stomach.

"Kyle," I whimper as I cradle his head in front of my breasts. I kiss his forehead and let my fingers run through his hair.

"Not yet, Sarah," he says as his hands move to my hips.

Suddenly I am on the bed, lying on my back. Kyle is on top of me, and a teasing grin is on his face. Our lips are together again, soft and comforting, but he moves away.

"Close your eyes," he whispers.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Do you trust me?" he counters with a teasing glare in his eyes.

"Always," I whisper as my eyes close.

I can feel him instead of see him. I feel his warm breath as he kisses first my forehead, then lingers at my lips.

Now he moves down to my jaw. I feel his soft, hot lips along my body, and every time I try to react his hands stop me. Finally, I give up altogether. I relish the feeling, the rush of energy that fills me more with every tender touch.

He kisses my collarbone, my breasts, my stomach. Then he moves down to my feet and inches up them. Kyle's lips are on the inside of my thigh when I sit up straight, breathless again as my heart races like a wild rabbit. He doesn't stop me, though. Instead, he laughs.

"I'm shocked you made it that long," he teases.

He settles on top of me again, and slips inside me without much effort. My body has become accustomed to him. There is nothing dangerous or dark about him right now. In his eyes, there is a light I can't look away from. And as he thrusts, he doesn't damage me in any way. He is slow, gentle, wonderful. The want, the warm need, is filling me again. Something in my chest aches.

"I love you," I tell him again, not sure if he hears me since the words are muffled and quiet. "More than you'll ever know."

Our lips come crashing into one another, and he props himself up on his elbows, his forehead settling against the side of my neck. Normally, I would feel claustrophobic in such a position, but I don't mind it. His hands knot into my hair, and mine press against his back. I press him against me. I want to occupy the same body, to show him how much I love him. Words won't ever be enough, but at least I can try.

He becomes more urgent above me. His kisses are deep, hungry and needing. I feel that electricity building inside of me again, and I know I can't hold on anymore. I don't want to. As soon as I shatter, I feel him explode, too. I am jolted with ecstasy, and we both soar together and fall together. A salty kiss is the last thing we exchange before he collapses beside me, and our panting breaths are all we hear.

I curl my body into his, and lay my head on a spot where his chest and shoulder come together. His arm cradles me, stroking my hair, while the other one holds my hand on his chest. The feel of his heart beating against my hand is comforting. Outside, I can hear the sounds of the city. But I can't bring myself to pay attention to anything but Kyle. I sit up, my hair falling in curls around my face.

"I love you," I whisper. "Forever."

The look on his face is nothing short of adoration. It must match mine. Kyle smiles, and his hand touches my cheek. I tilt my head into his touch, forgetting the times I've been hit there. Nothing else matters. Nothing but us.

"I love you, too," he says. "More than you will ever know."

I smile at his words, and he rises to meet me. Our lips touch in a soft kiss.