My name is Bella Swan, and I've felt numb for most of my life. I grew up to an abusive father- both physically and mentally- and a mother who is great, but became more involved with her boyfriend than me. I hate how I feel most of the time and how I fuck up just about every relationship I've ever had. As a result, I find myself spending ungodly amounts of time pondering where everything went so wrong.
How could a father hit his child? Even worse, how could that child let him get away with it? I did and regret it at times, but no one realizes how hard it is to send your parent to face charges and to have your name and his plastered everywhere. People talk, and I could not become their newest target for gossip.
Believe it or not, I was a daddy's girl when I was younger. He went through periods of being so nice to me that I felt like I could float. We would dance together to music, put on mini-concerts for my family, and just enjoy life. All good things, however, come to an end. He began treating our family like property and my mother, Renée could not take it anymore. She divorced him, and he made our lives even more of a living hell.
So now I am in college, struggling to let my guard down, struggling to be loved. I've never had a boyfriend or first kiss. There's just so much I haven't experienced because I had to grow up much sooner than any child should. Up until a few days ago constant daydreams invaded my life that my knight would come and whisk me away on his white horse. Thankfully, things have started turning around. The only person I can thank for this miracle is Edward Cullen.