Superstitious

By Crimson and Chrome 42

Summary: Is Casey McDonald really who she seems? Class keener, bane of Derek Venturi's existence, and all-around girl-next-door? Boring. As Casey and Derek get ready to graduate high school, Casey's past comes back to visit. Has Casey been keeping secrets?

~~~
Disclaimer: Normal disclaimers apply to all chapters. Anything that is even slightly recognizable is not owned by me. I've only borrowed the music, the characters, and in some cases, plot points. The only thing I gain from this is the pleasure of creating a story (or twisting a story, believe as you wish).

~~~
A.N. Some of you may recognize similarities in this story to one already on this site called Second Chances by Dark-Supernatural-Angel, this is somewhat intentional, as I took inspiration for this story from that one. I have informed Dark-Supernatural-Angel of this and have been granted permission to do this. For those of you who have not read Second Chances, I encourage you to do so—it is a fantastic story and well-written. Also, I have not seen all of the episodes of Life With Derek, so if something doesn't fit with that, please just go with it, this isn't supposed to be canonical anyway.

Chapter One

"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone…" Casey groaned, she loathed Taylor Swift and waking up to the bubble-gummer at 6:30 in the morning was not a good sign of things to come. "I've been waiting so all we have to do is run…" she slapped the snooze button and the offending bubble-gum music ceased, for 10 minutes at least.

10 minutes later her clock radio began blasting again, "Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone…" "AHHH!" Casey screamed—this definitely meant bad things were ahead for the week.

"DEREK! What did you do to Casey?" George yelled up the stairs.

"Nothing! It wasn't me!"

"Yeah, sure, Derek. Whatever it is, fix it and apologize to her."

"But I didn't DO anything!"

Casey viciously slapped at the snooze button… "You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess..." She slapped out again, "It's a love story baby just say…", finally connecting with the off button.

"Derek, just apologize!"

She sighed, "George! Derek hasn't done anything to me yet!"

"Thank you!"

"Will you people stop yelling?!" Edwin interjected, "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

Casey rolled her eyes, but ceased her yelling, she rolled out of bed and made her way to her door. Just as she opened her door she heard Derek in the bedroom next to hers and then Derek sprint toward the bathroom door. "Beat ya again, Space Case!" he crowed from the bathroom doorway. Casey wasn't in the mood to engage in their usual morning battle for the bathroom and such; she was going to skip the shower until later today and just go directly down to breakfast.

"Casey, you're not dressed for school." Nora stated.

Casey snorted softly, way to state the obvious, Nora. "No, I thought I'd wait until later on this afternoon or tonight to take my shower. I'll get dressed after breakfast."

"Oh." Nora tilted her head and looked at her suspiciously, "Are you feeling ok, honey?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Casey didn't think she was lying. "I'm just a little tired, ready for the end of term and all."

"I understand." Nora smiled sadly.

Casey opened her mouth to respond when there was a knock at the side door and Sam and Ralph walked into the kitchen, waving good morning. At that moment, Derek walked in, taking Casey's breakfast plate from her and beginning to eat. Still not in the mood to fight with Derek, Casey just rolled her eyes and got up to go get ready for school.

Sam, Ralph, and Derek looked at Nora, "What's with her?" Derek asked, "What did you do, Derek?" Sam asked, "Can I have her share?" asked Ralph.

Nora shrugged in response and said, "Just tired I guess."

"Why do you assume that I did something, Sam?"

This time Ralph answered, "Because anytime there is something wrong with Casey, you have something to do with it."

"That's not true! She's a complete psycho, especially when she's dating some dweeb—"

"Hey!" Sam cried indignantly.

"—or on her period." Finished Derek.

"What about my period?" asked Casey, reappearing from her room fully clothed in a pair of jeans, a black v-neck t-shirt, and a pair of black Nikes. She was pulling her hair up into a high ponytail with a black hair band.

"What are you wearing?" asked Derek, not wanting to discuss her period with her.

"Clothes, Derek. It is customary for one to wear them when they leave their house, is it not?"

Derek was slightly taken aback, Casey's tone managed to be flip and cold at the same time, it wasn't like her. Something was up, and he was sure he hadn't pulled any pranks on her for the past couple of weeks, so he didn't think that was it. He kept track of when she was on her cycle, so that he knew when to steer clear of her (he actually had it marked in his calendar), and she wasn't due for a couple of weeks. She was single, she hadn't gone out on a date for a couple of weeks—maybe that was it?

"Oh, God, please always stay clothed!"

Casey quirked an eyebrow at him, "You're off your game today, Derek." She paused, "I'm gonna walk to school. See ya later." And with that she was out the door and gone.

~~~
Casey looked at her watch, 2:32, another hour and she was free of this torturous hell. The entire day had been dragging on, but this English lesson had been particularly slow-moving. She wasn't even sure what the teacher was droning on about, she was just kind of sitting there, letting her laptop record the class—not even typing notes like she usually did. Luckily, she was sitting in a back corner today and the school had free Wi-Fi, so she logged onto her yahoo account to check her email—nothing of any interest. RSS feeds next—MSNBC—mostly political bullshit; —mostly just stories about schools starting earlier because of major winter storms earlier in the year and about the record heat and drought; local London Post—really nothing of interest there except a story on a concert by a Toronto based indie rock band.

"Casey?" Mr. Rawson was standing in front of her.

She minimized her news story. "Yes?" she asked innocently.

"What was Frost getting at when he wrote this poem?"

Poem? What poem? Casey looked at the board, blank. She surreptitiously glanced at the book of the boy sitting in front of her—Nothing Gold Can Stay was open in front of him. Seriously? Anyone could read The Outsiders and get the meaning of that poem, verbatim—hell; they could even just watch the movie and not bother with reading anything! "His main point was that nobody can stay young and innocent forever. Eventually everyone grows up."

Mr. Rawson blinked, slightly taken aback, and also slightly impressed. "Very good, Ms. McDonald. Very good."

Casey smiled at him and watched him move back to the front of the classroom before she went back to playing on her computer.

~~~
Casey stared at the screen in front of her—wondering how to fill the empty space before her. Give her a scientific research project—wonderful, she'd give you a ten page report on the advances that the scientific community has made in biotechnology and the implications it might have for the public at large. Give her a book and terrific! She'd give you a six page book report analyzing the sexist subtext of the interactions in the main characters' relationship. But this, this was the hardest thing she'd had to write in a long time…The last of her graduation invites. She'd already done most of them and sent them off—she really wasn't inviting too many people; just some family and a few old friends—and her father. This was the only actual letter she was writing—printing and everything (Lizzie had gotten to her on the whole "Green Movement" thing—if nothing else, this way she wouldn't have to listen to her bitch about how many trees she was killing, blah, blah, blah…And it saved on stationary and stamps and things). Her writer's block was interrupted by a knock on her door. She minimized the blank word document and swiveled around to face her door. "It's open."

"Hey, Case. How're you feeling?" Nora asked, poking her head through the doorway.

Casey smiled at her aunt. "A little tired still, but I'm doing ok. How about you?" Over the years she'd learned deflection was one of the best defenses for having to talk about her true feelings.

Nora recognized the deflection and was having none of it, she raised a brow. Casey sighed, "I'm sending a graduation invite to Dad."

Nora's expression turned serious. "Graduation is in two weeks Casey, do you really think it will get there in time?"

"Part of me is hoping it won't. But I'm including a plane ticket and expressing it there, so it should." Casey admitted.

Nora nodded and moved all the way into the room, closing the door soundly behind her.

"So, what's the problem then?"

Casey tilted her head and tried to think of a way to phrase everything that was going through her head, as well as how she was feeling about it all…It wasn't easy.

Seven years ago, Casey's dad—Bobby Singer—sent her to live with his sister, her Aunt Nora. Bobby was a hunter of the supernatural and he was struggling with raising Casey as a single father. Of course, he had help with the other hunters around, but even with their help, most of them were men and when Casey turned eleven he decided that as she entered her teenage years she needed a female influence. Also, he was worried that even with all the other hunters around, maybe even because of them, that he couldn't protect her. And he wanted her to have a "normal" life—whatever that was. So he shipped her out to Canada.

At first Casey was excited to see her aunt and cousin, but then she became angry with her father—who was he to say that her life at home wasn't good enough? He'd taken her away from her friends, her family—everything she'd ever known. They hardly ever talked; he was usually off on a job or doing research for one of his hunter friends.

When she moved in with Nora and Lizzie, it was decided that she needed to focus more on her studies—so she was enrolled in an all girls' school in Toronto. That didn't, however, stop her from going on a bit of a dating frenzy when she entered her freshman year in high school. She was a legend at the affiliated boys' school. Nora always wondered exactly what her niece did on her dates that made her such a popular escort—but Casey was a good girl and she trusted her, besides, Bobby and his friends had made certain that she knew how to take care of herself, so Nora never asked much beyond the normal parental questions of who, what, where, when, and why.

When Nora met George, she accidentally let slip that Casey was her daughter—what she had meant to say was she was like her daughter, but by the time she realized her mistake it was too late to rectify it. So Casey and Bobby agreed that she would pose as Nora's daughter—she'd probably be safer that way. Bobby also thought, that Casey was being too wild—drawing too much attention to herself (he wouldn't say anymore than that on why it was so important that she stay under the radar), but he thought it would be for the best if Casey McDonald had a bit of a more straight-arrow personality and so "Keener" Casey was born.

Normal Casey wouldn't have been bothered at all by Derek's antics, she had grown up around a lot of guys, many of them worse than Derek ever even thought about being. Casey Singer would have retaliated—creatively; but Casey McDonald had to be whiney about it. Sometimes she really hated her dad for making her be untrue to herself—but she was sure it was for the best.

Casey missed her dad and her friends fiercely. She talked to Sam and Dean Winchester, the sons of her dad's best friend, John, quite a lot within the first few years—even when Sammy went off to Stanford. They were like the older brothers she never had. But then John disappeared and Dean had gone off to collect Sammy and then Jess died—they told her that they thought it would be safer for her if they didn't talk as much. After that she barely heard from them, just the odd email and phone call here and there. Though, they never missed a birthday—12:30 every January 23rd the cell phone that her dad had given her before she moved (he'd send her an upgrade every couple of years) would play "Carry On Wayward Son" and then Dean would wish her a happy birthday and she him, and then he'd pass the phone to Sam. They'd catch up for a bit and then she wouldn't hear from them for quite awhile.

Then one night her dad phoned, to tell her that Dean was dead—Casey was devastated, she walked around like one of the dead herself, for weeks. She tried to call Sam, but all she ever got was voicemail. She'd leave messages, but never got a phone call back.

Then she got another call from her dad—this time Sam was dead. She repeated her grieving process. It was worse on her birthday, she would be awake all night, waiting to hear "Carry On Wayward Son" or "Eye of the Tiger" (Sam's ringtone)—but nothing. She was always way more subdued on that day than she used to be. Lizzie and Nora noticed, but they were the only ones—they both knew why, they just didn't know how to help her.

A lot of this ran through Casey's mind as she contemplated what to say to her aunt. She wasn't sure who to be when she wrote this letter—Casey Singer or Casey McDonald. Or was she someone else entirely by now? She wondered if she should handwrite the letter, possibly…?

Casey shook her head, as if to shake away her thoughts and looked at her Aunt Nora, the only mother she had known for a long time now. "I don't know who I am anymore." She confessed. "And I'm not sure I know Dad anymore, either." She didn't add that she wasn't sure where to go with the whole I'm graduating, come see thing either, she figured that Aunt Nora would know that one already.

Nora's heart broke just a little at these words, and she couldn't help but feel a little guilty too. "Oh, Casey." She breathed. "Honey, you are an amazing young woman. I don't know if I could have ever done what you have—with the having to pretend to be somebody else and leaving your friends and family. You helped me, Lizzie, and Dennis through a really tough time—have I thanked you for that lately?—and still managed to have straight A's and a social life. The things that you and your dad did before then, I honestly don't know how you turned out so well adjusted, I'd be a mess. You are always my strong and beautiful niece. I know my brother; you will always be his little girl. Whoever else you are, remember that you are loved, needed, strong, and amazing. And you are like my second daughter."

By this time, Casey had tears shining in her eyes and Nora had tears streaming down her cheeks. "Thank you." Casey whispered.

Nora smiled at her niece, "I'm only reminding you of what you already know, sweetheart. No matter what we will always love you. But you know, it might time to stop being Casey McDonald and get back to being Casey Singer—find out who she is now." Nora paused, "Whatever you decide, I'll be right here for you."

It was Casey's turn to smile, "Thanks Aunt Nora. That actually helps a lot."

"No problem, Case. Dinner should be ready at 6, pot roast sound good to you?"

"Always." Nora left, again closing the door firmly behind her.

Casey swiveled back to her computer and began typing.

Dear Dad…

~~~
Over the next couple of weeks Derek continued to live normally—doing his best to annoy Casey and Casey did her best to keep up appearances…But she was beginning to think that Aunt Nora was right—she needed to drop being "Keener Casey" and get back to being just plain Casey, whoever that might be. The thing was, she wasn't sure how to do that in the first place. If she suddenly stopped acting like Space Case, would everything come out? The fact that she wasn't really Nora's daughter, but her niece, that she'd been lying to almost everyone for just about three years now? Where would that leave Nora?

She tried calling her dad but all she got was voicemail or the answering machine—probably off working a job or doing research for one or something else like that. She looked down at the ring on her right hand and wished she could call Dean—well, Sam was better for this kind of stuff, you want fun you call Dean, but still, she needed advice from someone from her past.

She wore the ring on her right ring finger. It was identical to the silver ring that Dean used to wear on his right ring finger—she suspected it was the very same ring. Her aunt brought the package to her when she was in recovery after having her appendix removed on her sixteenth birthday. It had been in a plain brown box—no return address, postmarked from Lawrence, Kansas. Inside the box had been a small, blue jewelry box and a handwritten note. In the blue box had been the silver ring. The note had been in Dean's hand and had said simply: "For a sweet and kickass lady on her sixteenth. Love, D." That's it. She had called his cell, hoping that by some miracle he would answer, but all she got was a message saying that the subscriber's voice mailbox was full. She cried herself to sleep that night. And ever since, the ring had resided on her right ring finger.

Casey sighed and looked at her bedside clock—11:45 p.m. Everyone should be in their rooms by now. She wondered if she could get away with leaving before everyone was asleep, she usually waited until around 1:45-2:00 before climbing out her window and shimmying down the drainpipe, but she was antsy and needed to get some of her pent up emotions worked out. Too much was changing and too much was staying the same, she was confused. Casey got up from her desk chair and made her way to her bed—just 'cause she was confused about some things was no excuse to get sloppy now, she would wait until everyone was asleep and then leave like usual. However, that didn't mean that she couldn't enjoy some actual music, instead of the girl pop crap she was usually forced to listen to as "Keener Casey," thank God for ear buds and MP3 players, otherwise she would have gone completely insane years ago. Just as she was settling down to some Shinedown she heard the lyrics for Filter's "Hey Man Nice Shot" begin winding its way through the room. Casey cocked her head, looking puzzled for a moment and then moved to her closet and dug out an LG Shine II from her black hunter's duffle bag.

"Hey, Blade, what-a-ya got for me?"

~~~
"Pretty, pretty please…Don't you ever, ever think that you're less than fuckin' perfect…" Casey cracked her eyelids, the fact that her cell phone alarm was what was waking her up this morning proved that she had been right and Derek did mess with her regular alarm clock. Half of her—the part of her that was now ingrained in her as Casey McDonald—wanted to get up and go downstairs just to ruin Derek's prank, and then the other part—the bigger part, Casey Singer—just wanted to stay in bed and be left alone. George wanted to take the family out for breakfast before the graduation-Casey didn't feel like dealing with it all this morning.

She hadn't gotten back in until around 6 that morning. She'd been dealing with a little shifter situation for Blade last night, and she was a shade sore. She still hadn't heard back from her father on whether or not he was going to be there this afternoon, most of the family and friends that she had invited wanted to be there, but couldn't make it, and she also had to give the valedictorian speech—ugh! Today was definitely a day to give in to the Casey Singer side, she was tired of pretending, and with that thought she'd made her decision to go back to being the normal her—well, finding out who that was, anyway. So, she grabbed her phone, changed the alarm time, rolled over, and closed her eyes, falling asleep minutes later.

"Pretty, pretty please…Don't you ever, ever think that you're less than fuckin' perfect…" when Casey's alarm next went off she knew instantly that she was alone in the house—it was far too quiet for even one other person to breathing within its walls. Casey was relieved—no more pretending, also no explaining or questions. She could just be while she was preparing for the afternoon's festivities.

~~~
"DING-DONG!" Casey was just stepping out of the shower, she sighed and let out a stream of upward air. "DING-DONG!"

"Geez, give a girl a second, will you?" she murmured to herself as she wrapped a robe around herself, letting her wet hair fall in tangles around her shoulders. "DING-DONG!"

"All right! All right! I'm coming!" Casey shouted from the landing as she strode to answer the door. "Keep yer knickers on, will ya?" this last statement was said as she swung the door open to glower at whomever had dared to interrupt her rare quiet morning.

Casey's glare died and melted to one of shock and disbelief as she recognized the two men standing on her front porch. "Sam? Dean?"