The Past Can't Be Rewritten
swinglifeawayxx
Summary: "It seemed like she was there for all of the big moments in our lives. And in a way, we were there for hers, too. I wish we could go back, and re-do the past year, but...we can't." -- A certain brother reflects on a lost relationship. Slight Niley. Review!
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It seemed like she was always there for the big moments in our lives.
When we got dropped from Columbia -- she was there.
When we sat in Joseph's bedroom crying, screaming, writing -- she was there.
When we signed with Hollywood Records -- she was there.
When we released "Jonas Brothers" -- she was there. She was the first one in line to buy a copy. Hell, she was the inspiration behind most of it.
When we filmed "Hold On" -- she was the one on the phone consoling us when things went wrong.
When we guest starred on our first Disney Channel show -- it was hers.
When we filmed Camp Rock, thousands of miles away -- she jumped on a plane to see us as soon as we all wrote to tell her we missed her. She was there the day "A Little Bit Longer" was written.
When we played the Texas State Fair, when we realized that our lives were changing forever -- she was watching.
When we played our first ever show in an arena, an arena like the one we'd grown up seeing our favorite bands play in -- it was all thanks to her.
When we played the tour that skyrocketed our fame and tripled our album sales -- her name was on the ticket.
December 28th, 2007 -- the day my younger brother broke both of their hearts.
December 31st, 2007 -- When we played Times Square -- she was beside us. Or rather, we were beside her. Goodbyes.
When we headlined our first ever arena tour -- it had originally been her idea, her suggestion, her promotion.
When we slowly began replacing her with Selena and Demi -- she gracefully stepped back and let us be "happy."
When Joseph fell at the 2007 American Music Awards on shards of broken glass -- well, even when we weren't on speaking terms anymore, she was the first of our friends to check if he was okay. It was the dress she wore that night that inspired "Burnin' Up."
When we were recording "A Little Bit Longer" on the road -- she listened silently to the crying and yelling of Nicholas over the phone at 3AM. She listened silently as he played her "Can't Have You" for the first time.
When we were on Ellen and Oprah -- she sent the quiet text messages wishing us luck. We never responded.
When we went platinum -- none of us could shake the thought in the back of our minds that it was all thanks to her.
At the Disney Channel Games -- she watched from the sidelines.
The Camp Rock premiere -- she called our mom to wish us good luck, even though we hadn't invited her.
The Burning Up Tour -- she was quietly in the audience when we came to Tennessee, and California, too. Those were the shows when Nick's tears came, the days when our voices cracked.
The day of the "A Little Bit Longer" release -- our mom quietly informed us that the very first pre-order of the album had gone to a certain "Destiny." She never once mentioned the lack of her name on the dedication page.
The day of the "Team Demi and Selena" t-shirt -- there was silence that day, and a furious phone call from Mandy that night. None of us wanted to believe that we had made Miley Ray cry.
Joe's 19th Birthday, a show at Darien Lake Performing Arts Center in Buffalo, NY -- a simple email. "Happy Birthday, Joseph."
When we won six Teen Choice Awards -- she hosted that show, and we didn't say a word to her. Silence, again.
The Concert For Hope -- we watched the tears well up in her eyes as her gaze met ours. Our arms were around Demi that night, but Nicholas' were rigid.
Nick's 16th Birthday -- the day he asked for us to move out of Toluca Lake. The day he saw her biking with Justin for the first time.
The "Lovebug" video release -- all of us kept thinking back to the night in our hotel room, when Miley Ray played the first chords of the songs, staring into my little brother's eyes. It seemed so long ago.
November 5th, 2008 -- another email.
The 77 Kids Concert -- what should have been her and Nicholas' three year anniversary. That night he sang the original version of "Still In Love With You." It had never meant more. There were tears from his bedroom that night and the broken chords of a guitar. "y o u' r e m y d e s t i n y."
The American Music Awards, November 23rd, 2008 -- her 16th birthday. The day we won "Breakout Artist." Again, thanks to her.
So, she was there for our big moments; our achievements, our failures. And in a way, I guess, we were there for hers, too.
The first season of Hannah Montana -- we had just met Miley, but all of us were on her couch for the opening credits of an epic. That started everything.
The rumors of her father's affair -- Joseph opened the front door at 10:30 that evening, and there on our doorstep, soaked from the rain, stood a broken girl we'd never seen before. Our arms held her tightly that night.
Her first tour with the Cheetah Girls -- we were in the front row on opening night.
Recording "Hannah Montana 2 - Meet Miley Cyrus" -- we watched her argue about having to sing such awful popstar music. She lost that argument.
Releasing "Hannah Montana 2 - Meet Miley Cyrus" -- we danced around our house blasting the CD and singing. She walked in in the middle of that.
Months later, "Hannah Montana 2 - Meet Miley Cyrus," went platinum -- we were the first people she called to tell.
Premiering the episode of Hannah Montanafeaturing the Jonas Brothers -- the highest ever ratings of her show. We caused her to lose so many fans that night. Jealous teenage girls hated her suddenly. And the Niley rumors began -- the beginning of the rocky road to the end of them.
The opening night of the Miley Tour -- she ran into Nicholas' arms after singing "I Miss You" for the first time. She clung to him tightly, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks.
Hypoglycemia -- after three days of sickness, exhaustion, and mood swings, Nicholas made her check her blood sugar and very nearly saved her life. Miley was diagnosed with hypoglycemia. Nicholas was ten times more protective after that.
December 28th, 2007 -- the first time she didn't give any of us hugs after the show. The first time I found her sobbing in her dressing room. The last time I would comfort her.
Times Square -- the last time she hugged any of us for a very long time. 9 months and 14 days, to be exact.
The Grammy Awards -- Nicholas watched from the confines of his bunk as the love of his life teared up on national television, with her new black locks. B L A C K.
The Vanity Fair Photos -- we bought the magazine. Nicholas stared. Joseph subtly defended our used-to-be sister on air.
The Major Picture Leak -- the pictures were obviously old. YEARS old. We all wanted to call her, console her, fix things. No one did.
The Disney Channel Games -- the week of awkward silences, glares, and painfully watching one we all loved shoved to the side. To make room for the replacements.
"7 Things" -- Nicholas first heard the song standing in the kitchen. The glass he had in his hands fell and shattered. He raged. He wrote. He cried. She walked past our house that day with Brandi and Noah. She kept her head down.
"Breakout" was released -- Joseph ordered it. We were all shocked; the writing was wonderful. We had no idea she could write like that. Nicholas' eyes squeezed shut, his teeth digging into his lip, his hands balled into fists when "Goodbye" played over the speakers. He locked himself in his room after reading the dedication. We all knew "Bottom of the Ocean" wasn't about a dead fish.
The Teen Choice Awards -- we stood backstage while she opened the show. And when she sang the final line of the song, her eyes snapped over to meet my little brother's.
The first time she sang "Goodbye" live -- the encore of that concert in Connecticut. We watched the video mere hours later, thousands of miles away. Selena stared at Nicholas as the tears welled up in his eyes. The laptop slammed shut.
The Concert For Hope -- we watched from backstage as she closed out the performances for the night. As she came running offstage, she saw us, and the smile fell from her lips. The carefree Miley went away, replaced by a cold icy shell. And back on stage that night, a hug was shared, gazes met, and a small wave brought back all of the pain. Both Nicholas and Miley's tears flowed that night.
American Music Awards, November 23rd, 2008 -- her 16th birthday -- she ran into us laughing with Demi before the show. Her performance was better than ever. We found her again later. When we tried to stiffly wish her a happy birthday, Taylor drew her protectively into her arms and pulled her away, snapping, "You've done enough!" Nicholas' face crumpled in pain, watching the suffering of one he claimed to no longer love.
Even from the sidelines, we went through everything with her. We felt her triumphs and her pain.
But we never showed it.
It was easier to forget the past and move on, or at least, that's what we told ourselves. And here we are, the most popular boys in America, playing sold out arena tours and doing photoshoot after photoshoot, interview after interview. We belong to a close-knit family, we have faith in god, and we're wealthy. We're fortunate.
We're h a p p y . . . right?
What more could we want.
All American Boys.
She used to be the All American Girl.
And they can try to replace her, but they never will. It will never work, because there will never be another Miley.
We all miss her. She was our best friend, our little sister, Nicholas' love. She was our family, and she was there for everything.
All she wanted was to share her love for music, and her love of life. She wanted to show people who she was, what she really loved and believed in. She believed in so many things. She believed in us.
It really is all thanks to her that we are where we are. She raised us from the ground to the throne where we now sit. If she hadn't loved us and wanted so badly to help, we wouldn't be an international name. And sure, there are days when we want to be normal. There are days when we want to be able to go get a cup of coffee, or go to the mall without being ambushed. There are those mornings when we just want to lay in bed and sleep, and not have to get up for more press and promotion. And still, we would rather perform our music in front of tens of thousands of people and be constantly busy, than to never get to at all.
I'm probably the most guilty of us all. I was supposed to be her big brother, protective of her, yet I'm the one who stabbed the sharp knife of Disney even deeper into her back. I'm the one who wore that heinous t-shirt. I'm the one who never protested when Nicholas suggested that they take a break. I was the glue, and I let us all fall apart.
Nicholas won't talk about her, ever, even to Joseph and I. He throws himself into his work and our music, as well as Elvis and our friends. You can tell he's hurting, though. She washis best friend and his 24/7 for two years. He and Selena tried things out...he couldn't pretend to be in love with her anymore after the second time Miley turned up in the audience at one of our shows.
Joseph, well, Joseph doesn't really let it show, but he hurts every time we see her. Every time he sees other people taking our places, something flickers behind that rockstar facade of his, and you know he regrets it all. Maybe that's how Miley feels when she sees us with her replacements.
We all want Miley Ray to succeed. We want the world to get off her back and listen to what she has to say, because it is worthwhile. But we'll never tell anyone that. Because no matter how much we wish we were still close to her, things can never be the same again.
So, do we want things to go back to the way they were before?
A b s o l u t e l y.
Can they ever go back?
No.
The past can't be rewritten.
xx
Jen