I love you Mister DeWitt.
But how can I tell you?
No matter how much I might want to, I can't. We can never be together. And even if I could, what could you say? I want you tell me that you see me in the same way. I want you to tell me that you love me too. But it's just a naïve dream. I'm close enough to touch you, but in our closeness is a gulf I cannot cross, I cannot give voice to my impossible feelings.
But I cannot help myself.
How could I not love you? Your intensity, your determination. Without you, I would still be trapped, in a cage of glass walls, a life of boredom and loneliness. Without you, I would never have seen so much of Columbia, its people, its wondrous technology. These last few days by your side are everything to me.
So instead of telling you, I find myself trying to show you, like I have ever since we first met. I may not be able to use a gun, or swing a weapon, but I do what I can. Get you a little money here and there, find help when you are struggling. If you cannot love me as I love you, then you may at least find me useful. So I lend you my powers, whenever you ask.
And I've killed for you, Mister DeWitt.
It might not be my hand that pulled the trigger, but I know it's because of me. So many people have died from the machines my powers have awakened for you, the things I have done, the people I have helped lead to their death. You have created a slaughter once more, this time with me at your side, and I am your willing accomplice, the woman who couldn't refuse you.
And yet, bizarrely perhaps, I am happy. To be as close as I have been to you over these last few days has been such a pleasure. Even when I leave you, I cannot help but come back to you, to where I belong. To be able to smile at you, to sneak a glance, to touch your hand. To be the only one in your painful life who doesn't hurt you.
I find myself wishing this could last forever.
But it can't.
I know this. This happy dream we have shared cannot last, We hurtle inexorably towards separation; worse, to "us" never having been.
To my never having been.
But I cannot stop you. I will not deter you from this path. I have neither the right, nor resolve. I know this to be the right thing to do, that this is a worthy sacrifice. And so I will be with you, until the end, showing you how much you mean to me until there isn't a me to show you anymore.
I hope you've enjoyed our journey together.
That I haven't been such bad company.
I smile at you, as we approach my doom together. Door by door, closer to oblivion, hoping it will save you. And as I circle around your hand mutely, unable to give words to my feelings, here at the end I still hope against hope that you notice me. Appreciate me. Love me.
Remember me.
The water closes over our heads..
We've certainly been through a lot together since the fair, haven't we Mister DeWitt?
