The Baby Book of One Patrick Jane
8 Months Old
Patrick has had an accident with his lunch. Baby food is sprawled across his face and bib and his facial expression is a mixture of shock and confusion. His high chair is equally affected. This is not what it signed up for.
18 Months Old
Having a female older cousin comes with a price - she's dressed Patrick up in girly clothing, to his humiliation its right in the middle of a park. The pink ribbon in his blonde curly hair and polka dot dress makes him look adorable, yet a passer by mistake's him for a little girl. He doesn't look too happy about it either.
2 Years Old
A little red fire engine seems to be Patrick's favourite birthday present. He's managed to lock his dad in the garage to avoid being interrupted while playing, much to his dad's confusion. 2 year olds don't usually lock their parents away.
3 Years Old
Uncle Steve gives Patrick a Superman costume. After running around in it all day, he eventually runs smack bang into a wall thinking he could run through it. As this causes the first nosebleed of his life, he has no idea what the mysterious red substance is. He decides the best thing to do would be to spread it all over the floor.
4 Years Old
Pre-school teachers need to be a bit more aware of who they're handling. Patrick somehow manages to clamber onto the roof of the nursery and refuses to come down once realising how high up he is.
5 Years Old
Patrick's dislike of sharing is revealed when he holds onto a scooter as if letting go would kill him. He screams at the other children to "GO AWAY! THIS IS MINE!" They look petrified.
He soon learns to share.
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I'll be uploading the next few years tomorrow!