Author's Note: Every time I watch "Silence in the Library" and "Forest of the Dead" my mind wanders through the Doctor and River's story and my fingers itch to try and tell things from her POV. I know there are plenty more Library fics out there, and there will probably be even more given the Series 7 finale. Hopefully I can do her justice. I plan to update every Monday.

Disclaimer: I am not the BBC or Steven Moffat but I do like playing with their toys.

Chapter 1: Expectation vs Reality

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. - Heraclitus of Ephesus

"The Library. Come as soon as you can."

River Song paused for a moment, then smiled and pantomimed a kiss even as she closed the note with her usual flourish, rather than her name. He would know who it was from.

Had she not been trapped in a ship on an official archaeology expedition she might have considered defacing an ancient cliff-face or stealing a home box, though she knew he would come all the same. He always came. Her lips curved upwards in a small smile, imagining him twitching and slapping at his breast pocket as the message came through on his end. To be perfectly honest she didn't think she'd need him this time around but it never hurt to be safe and his company would certainly help keep the tedium at bay. No to mention annoy the hell out of Lux.

She hoped against hope that it was an older doctor who'd show up; at the very least one who'd done Area 52. Lately, she'd been running into earlier and earlier versions of him so she wouldn't count on whatever version of her husband showed up knowing they were married. A wistful memory of the last time she'd seen the Doctor – her Doctor – played across her mind, releasing a third smile on her lips in as many minutes.

There had been two of them, actually, because she'd accidentally hopped in the wrong TARDIS. Her sentimental idiot had taken her to see those million, billion stars one too many times apparently, and that time it had caught up with them. She should have known that the bumbling Doctor who spun to greet her was younger than the one she came with, but in the end it hadn't mattered and in fact had tidied up a few loose ends from that very first night he'd whisked her away from Stormcage. The extra voices. The dress.

"The mind races," she had grinned saucily at the pair of them before gleefully announcing where they were off to and departing for the correct TARDIS. It was worth it just to watch the younger him squirm uncomfortably, though just before she turned she thought she'd caught a hint of melancholy cross his fair features.

The com-light pinged, halting any further reminiscing and Anita's voice intruded on the silence of River's cabin, "Professor Song?"

"Here," she replied, all business.

"The Girl Wonder's got herself stuck in the escape pod again," Anita informed her with a long-suffering sigh. "Oh, and Proper Dave says will be hitting the atmosphere in five minutes."

"Best go get her," River replied, reaching for a tie to pull back her hair. "Take Other Dave with you and meet on the bridge as soon as you've got her."

"Yes, ma'am," came the reluctant response.

"And, Anita?"

"Yes, Professor?"

"Do try not to insult her in front of Mr. Lux," she gently chided the other woman. "At least not until we've broken the seals."

There was something between a snort and a laugh on the other end of the com before it clicked, returning the cabin to its former silence.

Though the environmental checks had assured them there was nothing to worry about, River wasn't about to take any chances and had ordered the team to remain in full gear until she was convinced otherwise. Miss Evangelista had sported a definite pout, no doubt contemplating the effects of the helmet on her perfectly coifed hair, but the others said nothing, knowing Professor Song wouldn't stand for it.

There had been a tense moment when they entered the codes that the techs back at Lux-Corp had assured would grant them access to the Library, but it had worked and they all heaved a huge sigh of relief.

"Touch nothing," River said, more to Lux and Miss Evangelista than anyone. Her team knew better.

All in all, their first minutes had been rather uneventful. True, there was an eerie stillness to the place that was palpable but aside from that nothing seemed amiss. Lux had provided them with basic schematics of the layout months ago and River had committed them to memory so that she was able to guide them toward one of the planet's small gift shops like they were on a casual stroll through the park.

They were somewhere near the Biography section when she heard the first noise coming from elsewhere and she was now thankful for the helmet that hid her silly grin. He did love a good gift shop.

"This way," she nodded to a door slightly to their left down a long corridor of books and held out her hand.

She could practically feel Lux's scowl on her back as Other Dave handed her a charge to affix to the door once it proved to be locked. He'd known they couldn't count on codes getting them through every door and this one felt as if there was something physical blocking the door itself from the other side.

It wasn't the gift shop, she realized when the door blew, but she'd been right about who she would find on the other side. With perhaps a bit more swagger than was necessary she strode into the room ahead of the rest, ignoring the droning voice that warned about the Library being breached and fixing her eyes instead on the man in the room.

For a long moment she did nothing but stand in front of him, the respirator in her suit filling the silence between them. The face mask had darkened to protect her eyes from the mini explosion and gave her a modicum of privacy to come to terms with the lack of tweed and bow-tie standing in front of her.

She depressed the button on the back of the helmet, clearing the visor, and gave him her best grin along with her customary greeting, "Hello, Sweetie!"

His curt frown was not something she expected in return and she had to remind herself that this face was a bit more blunt than the other one.

"Doctor," she whispered almost to herself as his rant picked up speed and escalated; it was good to see him again.

He was telling them to get back in their little rocket and fly away and while she was listening with half an ear she'd already decided to have a bit of fun with him to try and dispel the tension.

"Pop your helmets everyone," she said, as if he'd merely been commenting on the weather. "We got breathers."

"How do you know they're not androids?" Anita questioned suspiciously.

"Because I've dated androids," River grinned, releasing her hair from the helmet's confines and breathing in the musty aroma of books even as she eyed the Doctor. "They're rubbish."

He was busy eyeing everyone else in the room, while standing guard in front of the woman River assumed was his latest companion; a woman every bit as ginger as Amy. She wondered if he did that subconsciously.

Meanwhile Lux was blathering on about encountering other people on his expedition.

"I lied. I'm always lying," the long-rehearsed speech fell from her lips without a single thought. "Bound to be others."

Anita must've heard enough to be convinced and had removed her helmet while Lux barked at Miss Evangelista for the contracts.

"You came come through the North Core, yeah?" River turned her attention to the Doctor now, "How was that? Much damage?"

"Please leave," his hands were on his hips, "I'm asking you properly and seriously just leave – Hang on!" He whirled around for another good look at the group before questioning, "Did you say expedition?"

River didn't bother to hide her smirk when Lux piped up again about his expedition, knowing full-well what the Doctor was getting at. Sure enough the whinging started up before Lux had even finished, head shaking as he rounded on her.

"Tell me you're not archeologists?"

His reaction was so overdramatic she assumed he was giving her a hard time so she responded in kind, unable to hold back the smirk, "Got a problem with archeologists?"

"I'm a time traveler," came the dry response, hands back on his hips, "I point and laugh at archeologists."

Indeed, she thought, smiling at the memories of him doing exactly that more times than she could count, though all in good fun. Perhaps that started here. She mentally shrugged, not bothering with the wibbly nature of their relationship at the moment.

"Ah," is what she said aloud, removing her hand from her glove and playing it up for all it was worth. "Professor River Song," she paused for the briefest of beats, enjoying this coy game of theirs before putting extra emphasis on the last, "archeologist."

He'd get her later for that, she was sure, as his hand tightened around hers and turned her around, once again imploring them to leave and quarantine the planet. She stood observing his actions and the tone of his voice as he took Anita by the shoulders and propelled her back into the circle of light they were all standing in.

The Doctor continued his rant, emotions leaking all over the place as he looked from one placid face to the next searching for the fear he thought they should have. It was when he took Other Dave over to the door that River noticed how dark even this room had become since they'd first entered and it was the first time she thought perhaps the Doctor was not simply trying to shoo the rest of the archeologists as far away as possible to get a private word with her.

She gave a small smile as, predictably, the Doctor and his companion tore Lux's contracts in half and she gave the pair extra points for their timing, but couldn't hide the growing concern from her voice as she snapped at Lux, willing the stupid man to keep his mouth shut.

"You think there's danger here?" her focus returned to the Doctor, this time focusing on his body language as well as his words.

He did. The sardonic, "could be," sealing it for her.

Surely whatever had killed these people was long gone, however, and she pointed out just how long it had been silent in the Library in case he wasn't thinking in terms of linear time. Wouldn't be a first for him.

"Bet your life?" His voice was soft and grave, hands resting in his pockets, a sure sign of how much calm he was attempting to project.

He should know better than to ask, was what she thought even as her lips quirked to reply, "Always."

His eyes glanced over her from head to toe and she felt hopeful that they were finally on the same page. It was as if someone had flicked a switch and almost immediately the tone in the room changed. Lux must have sensed it too even as Other Dave began sealing the door like the Doctor had instructed.

River remained where she was, letting the Doctor call the shots for now. She watched him closely, listening to him mutter to his companion as he shone the torch toward one of the darker corners of the room. Moments like these were his classroom and he was every bit the professor she was, though he'd never admit it. His back was turned but she could picture his brown eyes – wary, yes, - but also slightly eager as he worked out this newest mystery.

Still, something wasn't sitting right about the way he was acting because he should have called her over to consult by now so when he turned abruptly having clearly discovered what he was searching for she decided it was high time they did diaries. If he had one.

She barked orders to her team, deciding to ignore Miss Evangelista for the time being and stuff Lux and his big mouth into his helmet to afford her a modicum of peace. He caught on quicker than she'd hoped but at least she'd gotten in the last word as she headed off to meet with the Doctor.

The Doctor, however, hadn't come and was instead over with Proper Dave at the computer terminal.

"Pretty Boy, I said with me," she put a bit more force behind the request this time, wondering why he was ignoring her so much.

His exchange with his companion was slightly comical, but she busied herself in the corner until he finally decided to acknowledge her summons was for him. She convinced herself he was just playing the fool for the rest of them. It took all the composure she could muster not to round on him as soon as he arrived, diving instead into the relative safety of rummaging through her knapsack and comparing diaries.

"Thanks," she said when he cleared his throat, looking down at the worn pages of her faded blue book.

"For what?" he replied, arms crossed as if he had not a clue what she was referring to.

"The usual," she didn't look up, too busy searching for a good starting point since it was clear he didn't have a diary of his own yet. "For coming when I called."

"Oh that was you?" his tone was cooler and laced with more suspicion than she was used to, even for this face.

"You're doing a very good job acting like you don't know me," her attention was still more on the book than him and she felt too tired and old for the runaround, "I'm assuming there's a reason."

"A fairly good one actually," was his response and she took him at his word.

"Okay," she said brightly, finding an event that could be close to where they were at. She decided to show off a bit since he was playing it so close to the vest, pointing out right from the get go that she knew it was early days for him.

It was only after the words had slipped her mouth that she realized she'd have to go back further than the Byzantium as it had definitely been a tweed and bow-tie Doctor at that one, even if he had been all baby-faced there too. She flipped back a few pages more, knowing how perilously close to the beginning of his story she was getting.

She was sure he had to have done the Asgard Picnic, her voice belying the fondness of the memory but again she was met with a blank look. Silently, she cursed the fates that had assigned her full knowledge of who he was before she'd met him the first time, while he knew her less and less. Still, there were a few pages she hadn't covered.

It was only when she looked into his eyes – really looked – she realized just how early this was for him. Lowering the book and forgetting how she might seem to him, she held his gaze, marveling at how young he was. He protested, further cementing in her mind how very little he knew of her.

Her hand moved of its own accord, palm gently cupping his cheek, fingers brushing against the soft, spiky hair. She had never dreamed at her beginning that their history would stretch this far back and she took a moment to soak it all in despite his reticence.

"You've seen me before, then?"

His words broke the spell, twisting slowly like a knife in her gut.

"Doctor," there was a pleading desperation in her voice that she couldn't keep out no matter how much she wanted and her hand dropped from his face to his shoulder, "please tell me you know who I am?"

He looked at her hand, then back up at her and spoke the words she'd spent her whole life dreading, "Who are you?"

The hand retracted mechanically, a thousand emotions swarming through her mind far too fast even for her to process. Mercifully an alarm sounded somewhere so that she didn't have to answer him. Not that she could have if she'd wanted to. She bowed her head back down to her book, ducking out of the conversation around her; knowing eventually she would have to contemplate what to do next.