Flower of Mine

A/N: I have 1000 hits to my author's page? This calls for a celebration! In tribute to you visiting my page, I give you this AkuZeku two shot! That means that it is yaoi.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts else there'd be tons of yaoi. Enough said. I also went to www . iflorist . com / en / act / meaning / (without the spaces) for the meanings of the flowers I chose for this two shot.

Daffodil

The apartment was almost completely dark. The only light came from the ever setting sun of Twilight Town, yet the sole occupant of the apartment did not care. Said occupant was a man in his twenties. He had beautiful blue eyes, one of which was hidden by the curtain of periwinkle hair that hid half of his face.

The man, Zexion, walked over to the single window of his apartment. Its windowsill was just wide enough for the pot of daffodils that sat on it. He gently touched one of the delicate yellow flowers. He felt tears fill his eyes and he desperately tried to hold them back.

Why did he keep the flowers if all they did was remind him of him, the only person he ever truly loved, the only one he could not love? Not to say that the flowers looked like the man – Zexion still held firm to the belief that nothing natural could resemble the one who held his love – but rather that other than a note, it was the only thing left when the man left. However, every time Zexion questioned himself on the matter, he could not convince himself to get rid of 

the flower. He knew deep within his heart, wherever it had gotten to, that even if he got rid of the flower he could never forget the man.

Zexion,

I'm sorry to leave without saying good bye. I wish I could explain why I've left…

Unfortunately, Zexion had somehow managed to memorize the words from reading it one too many times in disbelief. As he thought this, he was reminded of the man's annoying catchphrase. Who could forget such a flamboyant person? His image would be forever embedded into Zexion's mind – his sky high red hair, his acidic green eyes, how his hips were like those of a woman. No one could forget unless they suffered some major trauma.

…but you would probably hate me if I told you. I couldn't live knowing that you hated me.

Their first meeting was rather anti-climatic for both. It was their freshman year in college and both had wondered what their roommate would be like. Though he was loathe to admit it, Zexion had genuinely believed that it would be just his luck to get some outgoing jock type who'd throw parties every chance he got. Such a roommate would've been disastrous for the quiet loner. He never knew what Axel was expecting, but he was sure it wasn't him. Both fell short of the other's expectations, not that this was in any way bad.

The two rarely had any classes together. Zexion majored in psychology and Axel in chemistry. Despite this however, they managed to become close friends. They would not deny that they trusted the other more than anyone else and would be the first to admit that one would take a bullet for the other without a thought. One would always come to the other if anything was wrong.

They had been so close by graduation that they both rented an apartment together. Both were still going for their Ph.D.'s but had still found decent jobs. It was then that Zexion noticed his feelings for the other man.



I'm not going to tell you where I'm going for fear that you'll abandon everything to come after me. Don't think that I don't trust you any more, I really do.

The first time Zexion consciously noticed his own attraction, they were going to a club with a couple of their friends to celebrate Axel's 23rd birthday. He remembered having trouble taking his eyes off of his best friend. His low-rise jeans exposed his defined midriff and left Zexion craving more while the too-tight wife beater left little to the imagination. Everything was so surreal about that night, and to this day Zexion still considers it to be the best day of his life.

It was also the first time he took a knife to his own flesh. He hated himself for what he felt. He was convinced that what he was feeling was so low, so disgusting that he had to punish himself. Axel was in love with another and Zexion had no right to meddle in that. Zexion hated the fact that he didn't care who he had to hurt so long as he was with Axel in the end. It scared him beyond all reason.

These past six years have been the best of my life, and I'm sure you're the reason why. That's why I must leave; I'll only hold you back.

The cutting became an addiction, but so had Axel. Every moment with the god of beauty himself just forced him further and further into love. It wasn't just his beauty that caused his feelings; he wasn't that shallow despite what it may seem. Even though he had gotten to the point where he only about Axel's happiness, he still hated how he felt. Not a week would go by he'd take his favorite blade and drag it cautiously across his skin at least once. It was his punishment.

Axel found out about the cutting eventually and in the worst of ways too. In a fit of rage Zexion had desperately tried to cut his own eyes out, believing he was unfit to look at the one he loved with them. He had only managed to cut his right eye before Axel had stumbled upon him. He hadn't lied when he said he remembered everything about Axel, but that terrified scream still haunts his nightmares and will continue to do so forever.

We were always there for each other, including that time when – oh I can't even bring myself to say it. If only I had known sooner, I should've noticed.

No, he couldn't have known. Axel had saved him, which was more than enough for him to be asked of. If he hadn't walked in on Zexion when he did, he may not have lived for much longer. Without missing a beat, Axel called 9-1-1 and had Zexion down to the first floor faster than you could say 'ambulance.' He couldn't remember much after that, having passed out for days from the pain and loss of blood.

He remembered waking up in the sterile white room to an angelic sight. The red head was bent over awkwardly with his head resting on the empty space on Zexion's bed. His fire-like red hair was splayed across the pillow and his face looked was more peaceful than it had ever been in actual consciousness. Axel softly glowed in the light of the setting sun. There was no doubt in Zexion's mind that he was a true angel to even consider staying with him after what had happened.

I'm not going to beat around the bush; I had never been more scared in my life. I was even more scared when they found the scars on your arm. I never could fathom why you'd do this to yourself. You're so –

Once Axel had woken up he remembered receiving a similar lecture to the one alluded to in his farewell note. He was forced to promise Axel that he wouldn't try to kill himself ever again. He'd ended up blind in his right eye from the whole ordeal, which had been what he was aiming for. However, now he could no longer look at his best friend – oh how he had grown to loathe those words – without feeling shame for the distress he had ended up causing him.

Not once did Zexion cut himself after that. He kept to his promise to Axel and he wasn't about to let his love down. Sure he had thought of it, but just the thought of Axel and what had transpired the last time, he would quickly change his mind. However he broke his promise the night he had come home only to see that all traces of Axel were gone. Though it caused pain, it helped relieve the ache he felt within.

The least I could do is tell you the reason I left, but I can't bring myself to do so. I doubt you remember what I told you when we got in the ambulance or if you even heard me, so you don't know why. If you figure out what the flowers mean – I'm sure you will, you're a smart guy – then maybe you'll know why I left.

Daffodils, he had left behind freaking daffodils. They were so odd and so Axel that he'd almost laughed when he saw them. Then he remembered what they were supposed to represent why Axel left. At first he couldn't bring himself to figure out what it meant. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know exactly why Axel left. He finally tried to figure it out a week later.

It meant unrequited love. Zexion should've known that Axel would never return his feelings. But how could he have even known? It's not like Zexion was being obvious about it.

Maybe one day I'll come back, I took my key to our apartment. I just need to sort some things out. I'll come back a better man, and hopefully I won't hold you back anymore.

Axel

It had been a year since it all happened. A year since Axel left. A year since he broke his promise to Axel. A year since he found out he was the reason Axel left.

He didn't want to go on without Axel, the only meaning in his life. It was too much pain to bear, but he never killed himself. All he wanted was a release so that if Axel held true to his words and came back he would be there. He wanted to see his porcelain face, his emerald eyes, and his fiery hair. He wanted to see Axel more than anything in the world and was willing to be just friends as long as he could see him again.

He went in the bathroom for his evening ritual. It was an almost mechanical procedure by now. He opened his top drawer and found his favorite knife that he kept there. He took the knife in hand and admired the way it shone in the light. He took his seat upon his throne and readied the blade.

He first dragged the blade gently across his wrist, preparing himself for the cleansing pain. The shallow cut drew only a little blood but it served its purpose. The next cut was harsher 

and deeper and red flowed from the cut and down his ghastly pale arm. Another cut, this time much deeper than normal.

The pain had still not left his heart. Just knowing that it was anniversary of Axel's departure had caused the pain to increase. Again and again he took the blade to flesh and rivers of life flowed forth from the crevasses. The heartache would not leave him be.

He was seeing stars now. The world was fading. Was this death? He longed for it so much yet he despised it for it would separate him from his love forever. He knew no more.

"ZEXION!"

A/N: Am I mean or what? I can't believe I actually did that to my favorite character. I'll put up the next part soon. Please review!